How to Fix the Bad Habit That Leaders Struggle With Most

In companies large and small almost everywhere in the world, there is a pernicious habit that plagues most all leaders. It doesn’t matter if you are a leader by your own choice or the result of circumstances that thrust you into the role.  It makes no difference if you were born into a planned succession and raised to be a leader, whether you attended a top business school and carefully groomed to ascend to your rightful station in life – or if you have no formal education what-so-ever: the single greatest mistake leaders make is allowing others to look to you and worse, depend on you for the answers they need. 

Part of the problem is that it is easy to supply answers and it generally feels good. When you demonstrate to others that you know something they don’t know and need to know you might feel powerful. Your ego doesn’t mind either. 

Because most people welcome having their problems solved for them – especially by someone who seems to enjoy doing so sets the stage for what may seem to be a mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship.  It is not.

There are 3 problems with this sort of arrangement:

1. When we give people solutions to problems that they ought to or need to solve themselves, we are actually telling them that they are not enough: we do not see them as capable
2. We deprive them of the satisfaction they would otherwise experience in solving their own problems – especially ones that challenge them to learn something valuable and grow as human beings; and
3. We limit the potential of the group to learn and improve – essentially diminishing the potential for innovation and collaboration.

Good leaders recognize that they do not have all the answers. What they must have are better questions.

Questions feed curiosity and spur learning. Questions are the foundation of what Peter Senge described in “The Fifth Discipline” as learning organizations.

We live in an increasingly VUCA world. It is well established thinking that the only way to offset the volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity that continues to expand throughout the world is to lead with creative tendencies. This means shifting from a traditional command-and-control posture – where having the answers is fundamental – to a position where you foster innovation and collaboration. 

For most leaders, this means addressing a habit that is difficult to break. Habits that impact our decisions and actions are habits of thinking. Who we are is a composite of our habits, therefor changing habits amounts to first changing who you are in order to change what you do.

You must change your thinking – and allow yourself to transform into a different kind of person – in order to be a better, more effective leader.

A good place to start would be to explore these 7 possibilities:

1. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable – and admit that you do not have all the answers
2. Demonstrating intellectual humility – by holding back on giving answers – even when you are quite sure you know them ( when you do actually know the answer – it is still best to reply, “I don’t know, what do you think” – unless you are needing to urgently avoid a calamity)
3. Encouraging others to be curious by being insatiably curious yourself
4. Learning to be a virtuoso at asking questions – and interrogating reality
5. Relentlessly weeding out the unconscious bias that leads to group think and drives basic assumptions that go uninspected and unchallenged
6. Caring ruthlessly about other people – by refusing to enable them to default themselves by differentiating the things you do that show you care about people and the things you do to care for them when they can take care of themselves
7. Commit to creating Moments of Joy (MoJo) in the world – by giving others the opportunity to experience the deep satisfaction in accomplishing things that are significant and meaningful.

 Questions can be the most powerful tool in the leaders toolbox. But as with any tool, they are only as good as the person who wields them. 

You must learn how to master questions before you can use them to build a great organization. And to become a fully competent leader you will find that asking better and better questions not only takes practice, but a dedication to a lifetime of continuous improvement. 

At first questions are the spark that ignites learning, but over time they become the product of what we learn. 

When you live in a state of curiosity and transform yourself into a learning-being, you find that the discovery of every answer leads to a new question 

Not all questions are created equal, and despite the pop-culture adage – there are indeed stupid questions. A smart question is one that comes from a place of curiosity – and most dumb questions are simply those that come from a place of knowing. Dumb questions are sarcastic or rhetorical in order to be self-serving. But smart questions nurture the curiosity in others and help make their learning possible – and their growth necessary. 

Finally, this concept does not suggest you should never have or provide answers. The important thing to ask yourself is “am I helping or hurting” this person by not allowing them to figure things out for themselves. With a little practice – the answer becomes rather simple and obvious.

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