Be-Do-Have Your Life: Turn the Lows of Life into a Powerful Pause

Both when I was transitioning into being a new mom and when I was laid off, I felt lost and wanted more.

I sought guidance from various self-help books, from Designing Your Life to Awaken the Giant Within. Those frameworks offered useful ways to observe and reflect on my daily actions, but I never thought deeply about my essence — who I am at my core — until last week's coaching education with inviteCHANGE.

With what I know now, if I could give my past self one piece of advice, it would be this:

Turn moments of doubt and despair into a Powerful Pause. Treat the lows in life as a gift — a chance to look inward. Use this time to do the hard work you are meant to do. Dream big.

Inspired by my coaching education with inviteCHANGE, I’ve created a detailed guide to help you craft your Essence, Intention, Choice and Action Statements using the Be-Do-Have model. This model can be powerful tool to build the groundwork for the life you desire.

I understand that the terminologies might seem overwhelming at first, so let me break them down for you:

1. What is BE-DO-HAVE?
2. What is an Essence Statement?
3. What is an Intention Statement?
4. What is a Choice-Action Statement?

1. What is BE-DO-HAVE?

BE-DO-HAVE: An inside-out model that shifts us away from the traditional outside-in approach of Do-Have-Be. Here’s a comparison to make it clearer:

• In Do-Have-Be mode: If I WORK(DO) harder, so I will HAVE more income and freedom, and then I can BE a playful, present and proud parent I want to be.
• In Be-Do-Have mode: I AM a playful, present and proud parent (BE), so I SPEND(DO) 30 mins every morning playing with kids with full attention and WORK(DO) strategically hard, and then HAVE a close bond with my kids and a luxury life with fulfillment.

The old model often leads us to think: “I need to DO more and to HAVE what I need to BE happy!” This approach can feel draining and static, causing us to procrastinate on becoming who we actually want to be.

The Be-Do-Have model, on the other hand, encourages us to embody our desired state first, then take mindful, intentional actions.

“You must be before you can do. You must do before you can have.” — Zig Ziglar

2. What is an Essence Statement?

Essence Statement = BE: At inviteCHANGE, I learned to approach state of Being by writing a personal Essence Statement, which is a declaration of your highest truth that’s eternal, stripped of the convenience of personality.

WHY?

An Essence Statement serves as an Anchor ⚓, bringing serenity and groundedness. The more you nurture your awareness and cultivate the seeds of your essence, the more you begin to consciously live from the inside out.

Writing Guidelines:

• Imagine a state of being which your ultimate potential is realized and fully expressed.
• Use a symbol, image or metaphor to describe yourself.
• Describe the life experience you desire with “I am _______ (something)” using lively, descriptive adjectives to make your core truth come alive.

Example:

“I am fluid, shimmering moonlight, a vibrant breezy garden, a courageous joyful soul, surfing the waves of adventures and never running out of love.” — Essence Statement V.1

3. What is an Intention Statement?

Intention Statement ≈ HAVE: A clear, tangible, vivid vision of your desired future, expressed in the present tense as if it’s happening now. Imagine you already HAVE the desired outcomes you want. What it looks like? Who are you becoming? How does it make you feel?

WHY?

An Intention Statement serves as a North Star ✶⋆.˚guiding your life and relationships. The clearer you are, the more powerfully you can manifest your vision.

Writing Guidelines:

• Consider these prompts to start journaling: What do you want or desire?How will you feel when you have achieved your goal?
• Use a symbol, image or metaphor to anchor your desire and feelings.
• Write Intention Statement in the first person “I” voice, expressing the vivid experience you desired in your life as if it is happening now.

Examples:

“I am fluid, shimmering moonlight, radiating confidently and uniquely across the sky of life stories. I grace both day and night with unwavering awareness, dedication and resilience, even when unseen. I cast a caring, gentle, loving glow over all that crosses my path. I spread hopes for those seeking brightness in their life.” — Intention Statement v2

Notes: If you have any further inquiries about Intention Statement, or interested in my first version of Intention Statement a month ago, you can read this informative article — Wednesday Wondering Volume #2. In this piece, I explore the differences between intentions and goals, emphasizing the benefits of crafting an Intention Statement to reset our minds and shape our actions when approaching any event.

4. What is a Choice-Action Statement?

DO = Choice-Action Statement: Specific, detailed Actions that move you forward aligning with your proactive Choices, rooted in your Essence and Intention Statement.

WHY?

A Choice-Action Statement serves as a Map 🗺 providing a sense of personal freedom and reducing the pressure often associated with goals.

Writing Guidelines:

• Choice Statement: Shift your mindset from “Setting Goals” to “Being at Choice”. Express what you are keen to choose based on your Essence and Intention Statement from an inside-out approach.
• Action Statement: For each Choice, create two or more actions that move you forward. Be specific and detailed and consider including a time frame or some other elements for accountability.

Examples:

Choice Statement Example:

• “I choose to play hard in my creative expression, embracing experimentation with imperfect actions to enhance my coaching presence and connect deeply with myself and the ones I care.”

Action Statements Example:

• Take a moment to relax, have fun in the process, and immerse myself in crafting the weekly Wednesday Wondering reflection.
• Experiment agile ideas and strategies to nurture my body and inner peace while balancing my love for family and work. Allow myself the patience to reach a decision by the end of July.
• Generate and introduce creative, personalized coaching services for parent involvement by August.

Final Thought

As we evolve through life and growth, the Be-Do-Have statements are dynamic and living elements that will require seasonal revisiting for iterations. 🍃

Thank you for reading this short lesson on laying foundation for a rich fulfilling life. I’m keen to learn from your wisdom and suggestions on the following:

How did you perceive my guidance regarding the Be-Do-Have Model? What’s your favorite takeaway from my visual note and insight summary? What would you like to see more or less of? Other suggestions?

Wednesday Wondering:

Every week, I share the most wondering thing I’ve learned in Generative Coaching. Drawing from my coaching notes, insights from user research, and my passion as a meditative art facilitator, I’ll share short lessons that help me rediscover joyful purposes in life and work. With a beginner’s mind, join me on the tide of coaching together.

Resources and References:

• inviteCHANGE: An organization dedicated to empowering individuals and organizations to live authentically, align with their values, and cultivate prosperity.
• Two Missing Pieces Of The Be, Do, Have Model by Nona Djavid from Forbes
• BE DO HAVE Breakthrough Model narrated by Selena Reames, PCC
• Self-Reflection Exercise for Living True to Your Essence by Fran Fisher MCC
• From Tension to Transformation with Janet M Harvey MCC episode from The Game of Team Podcast by Tara Nolan, beginning at the 01:50 timestamp