Beating Self-Doubt

It's Monday morning again and I'll wager that before it even hits 10am you will have doubted yourself in some way, no matter how small before the week has really began!

I included an old grainy photo of myself back in a day when things were more simple, around the same age as my daughter now, no real reason it was just one i found first on my hard drive to fill the boring space above.

Back in October, my wife gave me a 'birthday box', filled with over 20 small gifts and envelopes to open at certain times, for example, 'When you are stressed', 'When you close a deal' and even 'When Arsenal next lose' - this last one was particularly inevitable and opened fairly soon.

At the weekend, I noticed that there were two envelopes still unopened, 6 months later, and yet both seemed very relevant for our current situation, so I am glad I had not yet opened them. One of them read 'When you doubt yourself'. I am sure many of us are in the same boat at the moment, even for people who have not been furloughed, or lost their job, for the 'lucky' ones still working it has still been a mentally challenging time, when markets have slowed down significantly, and in a results-driven business like mine, that can be particularly hard.

I wanted to share some tips for dealing with self-doubt that creeps in during these times, when you have more time to reflect as I have found these nine (yes nine, sorry if you are OCD) steps very useful, and I hope you can take something from them.

1. SAY STOP. when your inner doubt builds up, deal with it quickly, don't let the little bastard discourage you. Talk back to it, teach yourself a specific response to it to trigger when it crops up.
2. Look to the past and awash the memories. Think how many times you have previously doubted yourself, or feared something would happen, and how many times the negative thing actually happened. Not often. Think of the many times things have gone well despite the doubt you cast over yourself, and use it to focus on the positives you have now.
3. Talk to someone. Tell someone about your self doubts, sometimes hearing yourself out loud you can realise how much you are exaggerating these thoughts. You can also get a different perspective when sharing and listening to someone.
4. Don't get trapped in comparison. Comparing yourself to others is all too frequent, compare yourself to yourself! See how far you have come to this point.
5. Journaling can help. Keep a log of your life, a realistic record of how you remember it. the positivity, successes, overcoming obstacles. Sometimes clarity can be gained when you put it on paper rather than keep it in your mind.
6. PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU DO. This is an important one, when you worry about what other people say or think if you do something - remind yourself that people don't really care that much about it. They have their own shit to deal with thinking about themselves, and a lot of the time they might just project their own issues/ failures on to you which brings me to number 7 below >
7. What they said may not be about you... When someone criticises you, turns your offer down, rejects you it is easy to continue doubting yourself, too easy! Maybe it is not about you at all? - What if they are having a bad day, or week, or month! Consider that perspective.
8. The boost of optimism - Let someone else's optimism, motivation and enthusiasm flow over you! listen to a podcast or read a book from someone inspiring where you can learn something. I have recently read 'Get the life you want' by one of the founders of Neuro Linguistic Programming - Richard Bandler, which shows you how to control your own thoughts and eliminate any negativity, you are completely in control.
9. Setbacks are temporary! You are not a failure just because you failed, I have learnt especially in business it is best to 'fail fast', as most of the successful businesses we know today did in their early days, but in life it is part of living it fully to sometimes fail. Use it to push you forward, and ask yourself what can you learn from it?

I hope this helps you in some way this week, perhaps I will reveal the last unopened envelope next Monday to see what wisdom I can get out there to you as my Guatemalan roast goes cold by my side.

Until then, tell the negativity to bugger off!