"Becoming to Being"

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom to choose."  —Viktor Frankl

In a world obsessed with “becoming” — “being” is the ultimate act of resistance.

Isador’s Quest

Isador was an ambitious professional driven by an insatiable desire for "more." More success, more achievements, more opportunities. He hungered for knowledge, skills, and experiences, seldom satisfied with the status quo. To Isa, "more" meant growth. He would say, "Growth isn't everything. It is the only thing!" This pursuit fueled his thoughts and actions, pressing him to evolve and match those he admired for their strength, intelligence, and sophistication.

Big Apple

Growing up in the laid-back South, Isador imagined “becoming” and saw New York City as the place of “arriving.” NYC embodied perpetual “becoming.” Its skyline reaching higher, its pace never slowing, its energy constantly pushing forward. Frank Sinatra's line, "If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere," wasn't just a catchy phrase to Isador; it was a rite of passage. He relished Manhattan's frenetic pace and the endemic culture that chases fortune and fame, aiming for the stars. Like the city itself, he was under construction, always becoming, never pausing to “be.”

Anti-Self

By his late thirties, Isador was climbing the corporate ladder at a promising pace. Each promotion was a trophy on his shelf. His recent ascent to Vice President was a moment he had envisioned and sought. He excelled at setting goals, pouring in long hours at the office, and savoring the satisfaction of checking off each accomplishment, whether it was closing a major deal or leading his team through a challenging project. The thrill of each new task fueled his ambition like a rush of adrenaline.

Ambition

Despite his vocational triumphs, Isador struggled to feel settled in his own skin. His mind was constantly racing, laser-focused on creating "more." Seldom did he pause to reflect on how far he had come. His life resembled a treadmill, propelling him toward his goals at a relentless pace. With every new goal he reached, the pressure to keep going got stronger. It felt like he was being pushed forward by a force he couldn’t control. He was so focused on achieving more that he never took a break to appreciate what he’d already done. His life felt like a treadmill, always moving but never stopping. No matter how far he went, it seemed like the path ahead just kept going forever. Even when he finally had a chance to step off and take a well-earned rest, he would inevitably decide at the last moment to stay on and push himself even harder.

It was in held moments that he began to question his obsessions. What was the point of all this if he did not take the time to digest and savor it? The realization dawned on him slowly yet profoundly, revealing a truth he could no longer suppress. His relentless striving had come at the expense of simply “being.”

He resolved to reclaim himself, step off the conveyor belt, and find joy not only in achieving but also in the journey itself. Perhaps it was time to celebrate both victories and small moments.

MOREnings

Isador had no off switch. When asked, he would say his hours were 24/7/365. Each morning began early—what he called his “Good MORE-nings”—a relentless cycle of ambition and sacrifice. More effort, more striving, more determination. He believed this unyielding focus on progress was required, no matter the cost. To many, he appeared unstoppable—the very definition of emerging talent. But beneath the surface, something was missing.

Despite the outward signs of a good life, he felt disconnected, as if the pursuit of achievement had stripped away his ability to just “be.” Moments that should have felt triumphant passed by in a blur, overshadowed by his relentless fixation on the next milestone.

The Void

Deep down, Isador sensed a void. Had he lost sight of what mattered most—living fully in each moment instead of constantly striving for the next big thing? The deliverable metrics at the firm left him wanting. Another client engagement concluded with another checkmark, “Ok, got it. Great.” Wasn’t there more than this? His practice expanded while his sense of purpose contracted.

He was chasing a horizon that seemed within reach, but could never fully grasp it. His office view spanned the Manhattan skyline, yet he felt confined by the trappings of success he had forged. His achievements, meticulously tracked in client portfolios and firm targets, had become golden prison bars, keeping him stretching for more. The realization weighed on him—an honesty that struck deeper than any professional milestone. Each gilded bar prevented him from embracing what truly mattered: the simple grace of existing in the present moment.

The emptiness he felt wasn't due to a specific lack or the firm's demands. His conflict arose from the gap between who he had become and his authentic self. Staring out of his 17th-floor window, he reflected on life’s gains and losses. The view vibrated with boundlessness, yet within himself, he craved a different kind of “more.”

Family Love

He deeply loved his family, cherishing them unconditionally, and aimed to provide the best life possible. Their needs were his priority. Despite long working hours and frequent travel, he was present when it mattered most. He dedicated himself to supporting their interests, sports, activities, and aspirations.

He took great pride in each of them, especially his wife, who was undeniably the true backbone of the family. She not only managed doctor appointments and assisted with homework but also ensured the house ran smoothly, juggling countless responsibilities with kindness and grace. She instilled essential values, teaching manners and the Golden Rule, and nurtured their creativity through bedtime stories, art projects, and heartfelt conversations. Tirelessly, she poured her love into every aspect of their lives without asking for anything in return. Beyond these tasks, she stood as a beacon of emotional support, offering comforting words and an attentive ear whenever needed. She encouraged the children to pursue their passions—whether that meant trying out new sports, exploring the arts, or delving into hobbies—and celebrated their every undertaking with a Mother’s joy. Her dedication extended further into community life; she volunteered at school events, organized family gatherings, and actively fostered a spirit of unity within the household and beyond, leaving an indelible mark on everyone she touched.

Intangibles

While Isa earned the income to sustain their family, he further tried to honor his aging parents. He provided financial assistance, recognized their sacrifices, and supported their comfort and well-being. His efforts reflected a respect for his family heritage and the values instilled by his parents.

Isador felt an echoing void, questioning himself to what degree he had lost sight of what truly mattered—living fully in the moment. While he espoused his family came first, his relentless pursuit of “more” overshadowed the reality of his words.

Isa believed money could meet all the tangibles—food, water, shelter, clothing, technology, transportation, education, and financial security. Yet, money played no part in nurturing the intangible needs of love, joy, fulfillment, purpose, health, and wisdom.

The success at his firm grew increasingly hollow. Each client engagement concluded satisfactorily but with limited personal satisfaction. His business expanded as his purpose contracted.

An Awakening

Emotions stirred within Isador. The relentless demands of work and the ceaseless pursuit of achievement had eroded his sense of self, leaving him feeling hollow despite his accomplishments. He realized, almost instinctively, that articulating this sense of disconnect—the internal cognitive dissonance—marked a pivotal juncture. As a seeker of universal truth, there was no turning back. He was on the brink of crossing a critical threshold, one that would realign his trajectory towards creating authentic and meaningful change.

His awakening was delicate and subtle, demanding a heightened level of awareness. During a morning run in Central Park—a ritual that had become almost reflexive—something within him shifted. An unfamiliar sensation emerged, allowing him to step back and view his relentless striving for 'more' from a fresh perspective. For the first time in years, he began to reconnect with himself. This was no trivial change; it was a profound realization—an internal reawakening igniting a renewed sense of presence and mental clarity.

Bethesda Fountain

At dawn, Isador ran along familiar paths. His strides were strong and steady, but his mind was on autopilot, already focused on upcoming meetings. As he neared Bethesda Fountain, his pace slowed involuntarily. He noticed a small group practicing tai chi. Their slow, flowing movements were mindful and deliberate—so different from his rushed, mechanical agenda. He paused his running watch. Observing the tai chi captured his curiosity.

Connection

Standing there, he began taking it all in. He noticed everything around him in vivid detail. He felt the cool morning air on his skin, saw sunlight filtering through the trees, and heard birds chirping, mingling with the distant hum of the city. His heart pounded from a clarity he hadn’t felt in years. He was present, fully aware of where he was and how he felt. It wasn’t about the miles he’d run or the tasks ahead-it was about simply being there.

An older man from the tai chi group approached, his eyes reflecting a calm wisdom that seemed to carry the experience of many years spent in silent observation. He walked with grace, his steps light and balanced, as though he had practiced each motion a thousand times. With a gentle smile that radiated warmth, he asked, "How are you enjoying your run?" His voice was soft, yet it carried an unexpected depth as if the simple question was imbued with a much deeper meaning, prompting Isador to reflect beyond the surface.

Caught off guard, Isador wiped the sweat from his brow. "Yes, I'm training for my first marathon," he replied. But as the words left his mouth, they felt trite. He couldn't help but question himself—another goal, another milestone—for what purpose? For whom? Why?

The man assented. "Do you run to enjoy the present moment, to feel each breath filling your lungs, and to let your feet carry you without a set destination?"

The question gripped Isador. He had spent years logging miles, tracking his pace, and persistently pushing for progress. When was the last time he engaged in an activity solely for the joy of existing? When did he experience the simple pleasure of breathing and the pure connection with the world around him?

The man gestured toward the tai chi practitioners. "Watch them," he said instructively. "They move not to achieve, but to be awake to life."

Firsts

Isador had a deep appreciation for "firsts." He often shared with those around him when something was a "first time" experience for him. These moments energized him, and for the first time, Isador truly grasped the essence of being. Unlike his perpetual drive to achieve, their practice embodied a calm focus on presence and intention. The man glanced at Isador's sleek running watch and remarked, “What all does that running watch measure?”

Isador glanced at his GPS sports watch, its screen glowing with a flood of stats and metrics. The man beside him, calm and grounded, asked with a knowing smile, “What all does that fancy running watch of yours measure?”

Isa returned the smile, pausing for a moment before replying, “It measures everything except what really matters.” He sighed, a sense of relief washing over him. “Thank you,” he said earnestly, nodding in gratitude as the exchange lingered in his mind.

Turning the GPS watch back on, Isador resumed his run. Yet this time, something was different. The world around him seemed sharper, clearer, as if his senses had been awakened. He felt the uneven texture of the path beneath his feet, the rhythmic cadence of his breaths, and the stillness within his mind. He wasn’t consumed by his pace or distance. He was wholly immersed in the moment, content to simply “be,” appreciating the flow of energy that carried him forward effortlessly.

Embracing the Present

Time flew by that morning, and Isador flowed with it. After showering and grabbing breakfast on the go, Isador carried his newfound clarity into his workday. The financial goals and achievements that once seemed so important now felt less significant. He realized that numbers didn’t define him. His worth rested in being fully present—in the moment and with others—immersed in his emotions, thoughts, conversations, environment, and every breath.

Reflecting on that morning, he thought, "Life's true worth is measured in moments of awareness, not milestones of attainment." It was the beginning of new revelations for him—from merely going through the motions to immersion in the present. In that state, he discovered wealth that no marathon medal or professional accolade could ever provide.

Transformation

Isador’s journey unveils sacred truths. Life's dance is not in a past remembered nor a future imagined. It is in the here and now. In seeking to become, he found that contentment was in “being.”

Pressure to Become

From an early age, we are charged to become better, faster, stronger, prettier, more respected, more productive, more secure, more intelligent, more significant, and more contributive. The pressure mounts right out of the gate as each of us tries to excel in many disciplines. This includes striving to be the best athlete, excelling in advanced classes, engaging in multiple extracurricular activities, gaining admission to prestigious colleges, and later pursuing advanced degrees. There is stress in finding a job, balancing family life, and engaging in social circles. The transition from adolescence to adulthood is challenging as students in secondary and post-secondary education negotiate academic rigor, extracurricular commitments, social pressures, and life on life’s terms.

Working at 80

As we mature, obligations intensify for doers. Workers, entrepreneurs, service providers, and other contributors across various sectors play a pertinent role in utility and community well-being. We are told to go to college to improve our prospects, make more money, earn status, and fulfill what many see as our social contract—a duty to contribute to society and meet expectations that were established long before us. We are directed to exceed traditional markers, such as homeownership, luxury purchases, and the ideal family that has defined previous generations. As WCMs grow older, some are opting to extend their careers by working to 70, 75, or 80, allowing them to continue providing financial support to their families, adult children, and grandchildren.

Focus Internally

Adulthood can feel like a never-ending race where the moment we near the finish line they move it farther away. Society places an ever-growing emphasis on advancement. Reaching for the next rung of the ladder often comes at the cost of savoring the climb itself. The focus becomes external. Achieving higher status, accumulating material possessions, refining appearances, and broadening social networks are framed as benchmarks of success, as though worth is measured solely by outward accomplishments.

As we age, the pressure to optimize our lives intensifies. The narrative shifts from the carefree exploration of childhood to a relentless focus on productivity in adulthood. We are urged to "work harder," to "make every second productive," and to "continuously improve." In this context, simply "being" is seldom regarded as sufficient. Instead, there is an underlying force compelling us to keep "becoming"—more successful, more influential, and more powerful. While these unspoken demands may drive the global population to strive, they also foster a sense of anxiety as individuals pursue an undefined notion of "more."

Fortunately, amidst this constant push for progress, a quieter truth exists. There is profound value in accepting our uniqueness to "be." Pausing to live fully in this minute is peaceful and purposeful. Embracing oneself as is, instead of what one is trying to become, is liberating. This is not about abandoning ambition but about balancing it with mindfulness and awareness.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: The opinions made herein are for informational purposes and are not recommendations to any person to buy or sell any securities. The information is deemed to be subjectively reliable, but its accuracy and completeness are not guaranteed. 1st Discount Brokerage does not accept any liability for the use of this letter. Readers of this letter who buy or sell securities based on the information in this column are solely responsible for their actions.