Being gifted and employing coping mechanisms to combat global fear

At our Skyline Education Foundation alumni Zoom gathering last week we had a check in about how our alumni are feeling in the new world of pandemic and confusion. These gifted and talented young people from resource-poor backgrounds are dealing with adult issues on many levels, ranging from fundamental survival to existential angst about the future, and for many of them, life is a day to day proposition, a series of obstacles to overcome.

Being gifted is not all about doing well in school. The intellectual and personality traits of gifted students are often what sets them apart from their peers. If you happen to be a young person who has an exceptional reasoning ability - and can see the illogicality of the fake news and poor data surrounding the coronavirus debate today; or has complex thought processes - and can work through an infinite numbers of ways to feel about the world right now; or if you think deeply and creatively, you may be feeling rightly confused, anxious and concerned right now. It is probably true to say that most, if not all, children and young people are feeling the pressure about this pandemic, particularly since they have had no experience of anything like it. But gifted students with enhanced empathy and sensitivity, may be particularly at risk. Connectedness and coping strategies are key to their wellbeing.

As the alumni talked about the challenges they are facing now it became clear that coping with families under stress from the gradual lockdown of our community is harder than they expected, particularly where the student has the role of responsible adult in the family. Skyline students' reality is that financial hurdles are most often coupled with social challenges and these young people who have not yet fully matured themselves have often been thrust into the role of leading their family through the uncertainty. In some cases their own needs for security are relegated to being secondary to the needs of others in their families. But it soon became obvious that connecting with others in their Skyline family was an essential part of coping and expressing their support for each other. The positive affirmation from others in their cohort who actually knew where they were coming from was more valuable than anything.

In our alumni session, we shared some practical ideas about how to connect and how to cope. My personal strategy through this difficult time is to be consciously positive and optimistic. I'm not alone by any means, but the alternative, to me, to constantly dwell in the negative, is unthinkable. Luckily, I am experienced enough to know that consciously maintaining a positive mindset is a coping strategy that works for me, that I can employ it as the circumstances demand. Positive psychology has so much to offer in the current climate. Optimism is a state of mind and some argue strongly that it can be a choice - for most, not all, of us. I recall my dear friend and colleague Janet Aaker Smith teaching me that primary school students who make themselves smile, especially when they are feeling low, create endorphins that actually make them physically feel better - a self fulfilling joy break, if you like. There is a level of positive psychology that works for our youngest learners through to our eldest. To hear one of our alumni relate her (mind blowing) issues since she lost her job and thus the money needed to support her whole family overnight, was devastating. But her positivity and "can do" attitude as she put a plan in place to get through this disastrous dilemma was was a caring example for all of us on the call. I must say that even "showing up" on the call was an act of courage, under the circumstances. She inspired every one of us, including those of us who would approach their life dilemma in a different way. She has a long road to travel yet but she is on the path.

I had the privilege to speak with Dr John Munro today who reminded me that a key to coping for capable young adolescents is to purposefully disengage initial "emotional overwhelmingness". Coping is not stored in the problem solving area of your brain - it is an emotional response. But when you truly "know" that you have coped in the past, you can recall the skills and strategies that worked for you. This is experience. When gifted students spend time to reflect on the past, they can remember what they did to cope and employ this strategy to face the challenges of today. So in essence, coping is based on the ability to look at a previous situation and purposefully think through how you managed.

At Skyline we will continue our weekly conversation with our alumni and students to ensure that they know that the world is both big and small right now, and to assure them that they are not alone as they attempt to cope with this uncertainty. If anyone knows of gifted students who are utilising coping strategies effectively we would love to hear from them! There is no single, right way to address this. My personal reflection is that there are fewer counsellors in the field with a deep understanding of, and empathy for, gifted students, than when I started in this field thirty years ago. We need to collate our collective wisdom to help this amazing group of young people.

Technology is shaping our world and the way we live, in many ways, both negative and positive. The potential to reconnect as a community using collaborative technology is immense and will no doubt play a part in recovery of our community over the months and years to come.

@skyline education foundation