Being late is probably holding you back! 

Being late is probably holding you back! 

Take it from someone who was chronically late - punctuality matters... MORE than you're willing to acknowledge. 

In my mind, being early meant wasted time that I could have been getting something else done. If I gave myself more time than I needed, I filled it, which would ultimately lead to not having enough time.

When I was told by my boss as a very young professional that it was inconsiderate and disrespectful, I simply dismissed it because it wasn’t at all intended in that spirit. It wasn’t as if I was late because I didn’t respect my boss or her time. So, because I didn’t intend it that way, I relieved myself in my mind of culpability. It really had nothing to do with my boss, which actually was her point, only I didn’t get it then. 

It would be nearly 8 years later before I truly got it. About that time I dug into personal development because I aspired to expand my professional impact. 

I will say that there were times in my life when there were circumstances outside of my control, like having a car that overheated frequently, or a train that didn’t run on time, etc. Looking back, however, I realized that it was up to me to secure a more reliable mode of transportation. If someone else is overcoming the same obstacles by making greater sacrifices, then someone else is proving that it IS in my control. 

I’m not taking about isolated incidences of lateness; I’m talking about chronic lateness. 

Granted, I wasn’t even very late. The office opened at 8:30, and I might come in at 8:32. From her perspective, she was paying me to start at 8:30 and she wanted me at my desk ready to contribute the value for which she was paying me at 8:30. By the time I put my lunch in the fridge, grabbed a coffee or water, hung my coat up, started up my computer and got started, it was 8:45ish. 

Even though now I am an even stronger proponent of flexible reporting hours and trusting professionals to get work done smartly vs. expecting them to clock in/out, it is still critical to be where you say you will be when you say you will be there. 

I didn’t make the connection between integrity and punctuality. I also didn’t make the connection between integrity and success. I considered myself to be someone of integrity, but had to admit once it was taught to me, that being late meant I was out of integrity. 

I don’t think this applies to everything, like social occasions. But when someone else has put you on their calendar, carved out the time for you, denied other potential invitations and opportunities, and put aside their own list of priorities to make you a priority, show up and be present. 

Life will occasionally happen. Things out of your control will happen. If you do wind up being late, the excuses are not what matters to the other party or parties. It’s the acknowledgement of the impact, whether real or potential, on the other parties - and you have to expect that the impacts an extend well beyond the people with whom you were expected to meet, because, again, they probably had to say no to something else to say yes to you, and the verbalization of your commitment to anticipate and plan better next time that restore your integrity. 

I noticed a recent backlash on apologizing. In my opinion, it’s been taken way too far. I’m not even talking about apologizing, really. I’m talking about restoring integrity because when people know they can depend on you, they give you more opportunities where you will be needed to show up in the future. 

Ultimately, if you remain out of integrity, it will cost you - not them. 

I believe the advice to never apologize comes from the perspective of people who over-apologize for things that, ultimately, are not their fault or are within their rights as humans - like voicing their opinions, taking up space, not being able to complete what they over-committed to in the first place. This advice to not apologize appears to align apologizing with weakness. I saw an article that leaders who accepted blame for their own actual failures wound up getting fired most of the time. (I can’t find it now, but I did find a satirical article.) It used actual examples. The lesson was that if you don’t want to be fired, don’t accept blame. Essentially, it required that a scapegoat must be sacrificed. This is a recipe for failure as a leader and is such bad advice. It may help someone stay in power, but it doesn’t help a deserving leader stay in power. A leader who does this will eventually have no followers. A facade will only last so long before it crumbles. It’s not sustainable, and the legacy that lasts beyond that leaders tenure will forever be tarnished when the truth comes out, and it will. 

Restoring integrity goes hand in hand with being accountable. To seize the moment, you have to be on time for it.

On the other hand, when you show up on time consistently, you send a message that the other person or parties matter. This is a message that I didn’t understand that I wanted to send based on the kind of person I wanted to be when I was a young professional. And granted our sense of empathy and our emotional intelligence takes, on average, until our 30s to fully develop. If you are young professional, learn this lesson early and you will be far ahead of your peers. If you are a seasoned professional and haven’t made being punctual a priority, it’s time to consider it, especially if you intend to grow in your career. 

Ellen Fisher

Networker Extraordinaire

1mo

Great article.

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