Being out of the loop is okay: 10 ways to set boundaries on social media

Boundaries have been used as an oft quoted word used to maintain relationships, friendships and interact with family members. These are actions which we use to express when we are not comfortable doing a certain activity, behaving a certain way or bending over backwards for attention or validation. 

If boundaries are not set, it leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, burnout, chronic pain, stress and the perpetual feeling you are not doing enough.

This is simply a textbook definition. But how do I apply? I wondered.

I had an inkling that I had a problem with social media and phone addiction but one day, I looked at my phone and it indicated 5.5 hours screen time. Gone like that. However, I could barely recall if I had learnt anything interesting that day. Or even talked to my friends. 

But I could never understand how to set boundaries on social media and not feel guilty about alienating friends and family members or being ill informed in an age of trend driven world.

Here are some highlights from the book Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab that provided me some answers. Hope these can help you too:

Signs you may need social media boundaries:

-       Constantly find yourself checking the phone without even realizing it. 

-       Your ‘time-spent’ on phone has gone considerably up. Both on social media and on your phone. 

-       You see your phone as a way of avoiding an awkward social interaction or when you are unsure what you should say.

-       When parents/friends say ‘You are glued to your phone’ that should ring some warning bells. 

-       While at work, you end up scrolling on social media, just to get a temporary dopamine hit. Maybe that is why boomers are better at concentrating than us millennials or GenZ. 

-       You are extremely affected by negative news which triggers you thinking it might happen to you as well or your family/friends. 

This is how you can try setting boundaries on social media: 

·      Recaliberating your social media feed: This is a difficult one. Your priorities have already been gauged by the social media you are using. However, you can create another account or start using a different email ID on YouTube so your feed can get a fresh start. 

The content will be more in tune with what and where you are  now. Not what you found interesting in the past. It is hard to move on from the past if your social media feed still lives there. 

·      Not interested in this content: Using the ‘not interested in this content’ or ‘don’t recommend this channel’. 

·      Managing news alerts: Turning off news alerts on the phone. You don’t absolutely need to know who passed away and how that happened at every moment. 

·      Choose your following: You can consider unfollowing thought processes or content creators that make you negative, worried, anxious or left out. 

·      Choose who you follow: It is hard to unfollow someone you see in daily life. So choose who you follow on social media carefully. One can choose to mute notifications or hide their profile from your feed. 

·      Pick days: One can choose days they want to use their social media accounts and log out when done. Many influencers do that.

·      Setting social media time limit: A user can manually select how much time they want to spend on social media. Cross the limit and you will be locked out. Fair warning: It is tempting to change the setting. 

·      Social media boundaries for couples: Are you okay with following your exes and interacting with them? Is it ok to answer DMs from someone you know is romantically interested in you? Discuss it with your partner rather than assume. 

·      Remove apps you don’t use: You don’t really read every TOI article and then feel guilty about not checking the news. Visit news websites directly instead. 

·      Let your phone die: Every once in a while, it is okay to let your phone shut down. This might be controversial as it depends on your schedule or situation. 

·      Least interacted with: A friend who also happens to be tech journalist suggested I use this feature to filter out people on Instagram that I don’t interact with and neither do they. I cut my followers by half. 

I have to come clean as I have started this experiment only a month ago. It has been fairly difficult as guilt and inadequacy creep in of being out of the loop. But I have spent more time singing, writing, journaling and reading. Sounds fairly snooze worthy but is incredibly fulfilling. 

Let me know how you personally manage information overload on social media, especially if you are a content creator, journalist or social media manager.