Is Being Selfish Always Bad? 5 Times Selfishness Can Be Justified
More often than not, selfishness is associated with negativity. You may know someone whose selfishness is perceived as their negative trait. It’s typically linked to being self-centered or self-involved. However, is selfishness always bad?
The answer is no. Selfishness isn’t always a bad thing; it can even be healthy. Cited from Happiful, research published into Healthy Selfishness and Pathological Altruism notes that healthy selfishness is linked to higher levels of psychological well-being, adaptive functioning, and prosocial behavior.
This suggests that there are indeed times when being “selfish” can be justified, especially when you need to prioritize your health and well-being. Here are 5 times it’s perfectly OK for you to be selfish.
When you’ve hardly had time for yourself
Most of your daily activities and tasks may hinder you from having time for yourself. If you find this frustrating, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Alone time is essentially beneficial for your well-being. As stated in Psych Central, it is a healthy way to recharge, destress, and recenter yourself.
When you feel that you’re starting to feel overwhelmed due to a lack of alone time, don’t feel guilty if you decide to distance yourself from those around you for some time. After all, life is all about balance, and being “selfish” may help you retain that balance in your life.
When you’re experiencing social fatigue
As social creatures, social activities or engagements can be an inseparable part of our nature. For some people, especially introverts, this can lead to social fatigue. According to Choosing Therapy, social fatigue or social exhaustion refers to when you run out of energy to spend on yourself and others. In the extreme, it can cause the inability to socialize anymore, anxiety, and even depression.
If you’re experiencing social fatigue, self-care is necessary as it can help prevent the negative impacts on your well-being from worsening. You can do anything that feels best for your body and mind; for instance, exercising, baking, listening to music, meditating, and going for a solo walk.
When you’re striving toward a goal
There’s a tendency for people to be ambitious when they’re working toward a goal. As a result, they put their goals, choices, and wants before other people’s. Unfortunately, we are somehow made to believe that doing so can be considered selfish, while in actuality, as cognitive behavioral therapist Dr. Robin Buckley stated, “Neglecting our wants for those of other people can create resentment, regret, and a lack of motivation.”
However, it’s important to ensure that what you’re doing to achieve your goal isn’t selfish. According to Dr. Buckley, one way to determine this is by asking yourself the following three questions: (1) does your want hurt or damage others?; (2) does your want ask others to be who they are not?; and (3) does your want require that others work on the want more than you? If you’re positive that these questions can be answered with a simple “no,” then keep going! Focus on your self-development and self-improvement to achieve that goal, and don’t worry about being selfish.
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When you’re dealing with a challenge in life
Every now and then, life poses challenges. These challenges may be easy to navigate or so significant that they make you feel despair. Regardless of how big the challenge you’re facing, taking care of yourself is crucial.
In these challenging moments, you may set boundaries with your responsibilities for a while, seek help from your loved ones, and take more alone time to be more introspective. You can also communicate your needs to help you work through the emotions and difficult moments.
When you’re on vacation
Typically, being on vacation means you’re escaping your responsibilities and daily routine. Don’t worry about selfishness when taking your time away if you really earned it. In fact, according to Verywell Mind, a 2018 study revealed that short vacations can relieve stress. Vacations can make you feel better physically, have better sleep quality, and improve your mood. Certainly, they will help you recharge and maintain your mental well-being.
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