A Beloved Teacher and Friend

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the importance of teachers in our lives - especially as many are about to be asked to return to classrooms without any real assurance that it is safe to do so.

Sister Virginia Marie Grasso, RSM, is a Sister of Mercy who was my sixth grade teacher back home at St. Martin School in South Buffalo. For many years, she has been one of my closest friends.

When I was in my first year out of college, I stopped in to see her at St. Theresa’s, another school in our neighborhood, where she was Principal. I introduced myself to her and shared a simple message: “You were the best teacher I ever had.” It felt good to say it and I am glad that I did so.

What I most remember about Sister Virginia Marie as a teacher is that as I was entering a time in life when I often felt confused and uncertain, it felt good to be in her classroom.

I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be as a person. I vacillated between wanting to be a good student and wanting to pretend that that I did not care about such things.

In the classroom I tried on different roles and presented the behaviors that came with them. I enjoyed the feeling of making people laugh and I struggled to retain the sense that working hard in school was a value to hold on to.

Through what I am sure were similar internal struggles of my fellow students, Sister Virginia Marie was a leader you knew was in charge; yet she was gentle in the way she gave me and others room to experiment a bit to figure out who we were and how we fit in among others.

So how fortunate am I, over 50 years later, that Sister Virginia Marie is and has been for most of my adult life, a friend whom I love and cherish.

She is still amazingly active and generous and gifted in her pastoral ministry for and with families whose loved ones gave passed from this life.

Sister Virginia Marie and I often talk about serious matters.

She is beloved by my whole family.

She and her community often pray for my prayer intentions and those of my family and friends.

And I am still trying to get her to laugh - as I practice the human art of figuring out who I am and how I fit in.