Beyond Helplessness in a Crisis

Beyond Helplessness in a Crisis

I don't have to say what everyone knows. We are in the midst of a huge crisis. Is it the biggest crisis facing us, this decade, this century, for the last 100 years... it does not matter. Crises don't have to be ranked in order to qualify them.

I don't also want to get into a discussion on responsibility allocation for the situation we find ourselves in. Like we know for most complex situations, there is never one correct answer and surely, there's never going to be an answer that everyone agrees with. Anyway, time (karma) often takes care of fixing responsibility.

What I do want to bring up is the question of helplessness. In just the last few days, several people have said that they feel like "escaping" or hiding from the reality of what is around. Many are feeling guilty that they are "OK" while others aren't. And quite a few are thinking about their responsibility towards helping others who are struggling in various ways.

Here are my evolving thoughts on the matter...

  1. It is ok to feel helpless and sad. An article in the New York Times called this feeling of being joyless and aimless as "languishing". I suppose the absence of things that normally gave us a sense of being (socially) active can make one feel joyless. Those who are 'working' from home and have their calendars filled with virtual meetings might get some moments to wonder what's the purpose of it all. I believe a majority of professionals employed in the corporate world are going through the process of languishing.
  2. On the other hand, the vegetable vendor in my residential complex who had a shack on the pavement a year ago, I don't see him languishing. In the last 12 months, he has taken over three stores in the shopping strip and is constantly on the move, 7-days a week, for all the hours that the cops will allow him. Every morning, I see determination in his eyes. Just an observation.
  3. As always, most corporates and their employees have stepped up to meet the gaps that we have in our public infrastructure and capabilities. Many smart people have created websites & databases to help the discovery of scarce resources; some innovators have built quick solutions to tide over the lack of institutional capacity. Reinforcing the view that a thriving environment of innovation and wealth creation is far more valuable to a nation than socialism controlled by bureaucracy. (Of course, in the midst of all this, some moron had the bright idea that we must nationalise vaccination manufacturing!)
  4. Even as a few have made a purposeful difference, a huge number of capable folks don't know what they should do. They are not involved in providing emergency services; neither are they part of any volunteering group. They are going about their daily chores, surviving each day, apparently not doing anything for those who are less fortunate. Should they feel like they are selfish people, useless to the rest of the world? This doubt also probably contributes to the joyless/aimless feeling.
  5. You are not "useless" if you do your regular thing. It is the regular things that keep us all going. Imagine if those managing our electricity grids or the cellular network or the food factories felt like languishing and walked off. If the supply chain folks decide to take a few days' break, we would all be languishing in the true sense, without milk, food and other stuff. By doing your job, you are contributing to the economy. By taking care of your family, you are keeping them safe and healthy. By chatting with your friends, you are uplifting their spirits. By watching cricket matches every evening and ordering the occasional pizza, you are helping yourself and everyone else.
  6. Stop feeling guilty that you are just going on with your life. Surely, if you can contribute with your creativity or enterprise or empathy, you must. If you can donate some money to help the efforts of others, you must. And it's OK if you can't do either. Stay at home, be happy, be healthy... you are helping the cause by not adding to the stress on the system. Also, it is OK to seek help from professionals (therapists) if you are unable to cope with it. Or write an article.
  7. Last week, the website of the word's most valuable company messed up and crashed when they took pre-orders for a new bunch of products. Forecasting and preparing for unknown, peak events is not easy, even for those seemingly unconstrained by resources. Just another observation.

What do you think?

How are you dealing with the crisis?

Any suggestions on overcoming the helplessness?

Avinash Kumar

Vice President, EY-Parthenon Strategy

3y

People contributing through the following indirect ways should not feel helpless or languished- you are contributing as much as many others 1. Not conducting large scale weddings (in normal times it is alright, its a personal choice): This is a breeding ground for the virus accelerating the spread and risking others. 2. Avoiding travel for leisure: Most of us want to vacay right now but now is not the right time. I know people (my age group) who have been doing it and its not cool. 3. Wearing mask and asking people around to do so: Some of us might have (or we think we have) super human immunity but lets not risk others - its drunk driving. 4. Getting vaccinated and convincing others to do so: Many (especially in older age brackets and rural areas) still fear / stigmatize / just not serious about it - vaccination is going to be one of the leading enemies of the virus.

Premanshu Das

Vice President- Product Marketing and Strategy

3y

Another observation which has stuck me recently in last few days is the rising dilemma of helping out others in two extreme situations. Family, friends, relatives or anyone close when being asked to be a part of a closed group for a family function or a ceremony were ready on toes to make it to the event irrespective of lockdowns, check posts and strict guidelines. They would scout out alternate JUGAAD ways. But when the same set of audience is faced with a situation where a close one from the family is in the last stages of life and there are hardly anyone in the immediate relations to help out, A MAJOR CONCERN of personal health, family becomes highly important and the DILEMMA rises of extending help to them. All sorts of fear from gatherings come into picture, staying away from infected areas is realise at the utmost. Not sure what is right and wrong in this, but surely COVID crisis is also testing characters unknowingly.

A man who knows what to do, he will. For those who are struggling, I would suggest the following: 1. Label the situation: Quite Time, Vanvaas, Hobby Time, Learning Time, Family Time etc as they may relate to in a positive way: and 2. Reframe the situation: War, Holiday, Sabbatical, Floods, Marooned on an Island etc and any other which would fit their temperament. At least it takes the load off the head and heart away from the constraining environment.

Gagandeep Singh

Director, Reflexive Lenses Consulting Private Limited andCollaborator at GlobalGyan Academy of Management Education

3y

I agree with many things that you have stated. While many of us have embraced altruism and demonstrated heroic intent in helping others, i have been personally skulking more often than not in the safety of my home. There are some things that i do but i know such efforts are never enough. There are days when i bash myself up for lack of a heroic action - like setting up a plant to produce oxygen or make vaccines, and there are days when i have to acknowledge my vulnerabilities, my constraints, and my fears, apart from a sense of dutifulness. Anger and fury accompany me when i try to make sense of the reasons for this second wave - but these feelings are never really productive. For all the jargon around resilience and anti-fragility, i often watch myself getting overwhelmed and numb. I guess all i can do today is to listen to others - individuals and organizations today, and jointly search for a ray of hope, and not let despair overwhelm us to the best of my skills and intent. As have been stating all this time, if you need to have an ear - reach out to me.

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