Birth Order Personality

Have you ever wondered why you and your siblings seem so different sometimes?

Birth order, and its influence on how you live your life, has been a topic of fascination for more than a century among researchers, psychologists, therapists and anyone who is intrigued by family dynamics.

‘People use birth order as a way of making powerful sense out of their lives,’ says Frank Sulloway, visiting scholar and member of the Institute of Personality and Social Research at the University of California, Berkeley. (Now, for all you first-born skeptics who are thinking that California spawns a host of wacko theories, please note that Sulloway is one of the world’s foremost birth order researchers, with a PhD from Harvard in the history of science.)

He says siblings share only about half the same genes, which leaves a combination of non-identical genes and environmental influences to account for their personality differences. ‘And birth order is still among the largest differences we are able to document,’ he says. In fact, birth order differences play nearly as strong a role as gender differences.

If you’re a first-born

Your philosophy is ‘I’m going to do this the right way, and so should you.’

You are Conscientious, reliable, serious, capable, goal-oriented, organized, analytical, well-prepared, and precise.

You crave Perfection.

You avoid Unpredictability.

People see you as A natural leader, a problem solver, an upholder of tradition.

People may be put off by your critical eye, lack of forgiveness or bossiness.

Careers Engineering, law, medicine, education, nursing, accounting, management, information technology, and research.

Relationships You expect as much of ‘others as you do of yourself, which may set you up for disappointment or frustration. A marriage between two first-borns may be like ‘a cat and a dog in a sack,’ says psychologist Kevin Leman, as you each strive to be the leader. Therapist Marion Balla suggests carving out separate areas in which to lead, such as one in the workplace and the other at home. Your best romantic match? A later-born.

Parenting your first-born or only You may set unreasonably high standards for your children, even subconsciously encouraging perfectionism. If your already perfectionist eldest child rips up a drawing or a project because ‘it’s not good enough,’ Leman suggests you say, ‘I know it’s a big deal to you, but it’s not to me,’ and walk away. 

If you’re a middle-born

Your philosophy is ‘Let’s look at this a different way.’

You are Sociable, flexible, open-minded, free-spirited, inventive, agreeable, sometimes rebellious.

You crave Fairness, and your own identity.

You avoid Confrontation and being pigeonholed.

People see you as A consensus builder, ‘a defender of the underdog, a peacemaker, ‘a rebel against injustice, a social animal.

People may be put off by your secrecy, indecisiveness and unwillingness to share your feelings.

Careers Mediation, negotiation, diplomacy, social work, teaching, self-employment.

Relationships You are able to get along with almost everyone. But you sometimes defer to others in the interests of co-operation, ignoring your own feelings. A marriage between two middles could have both partners avoiding issues and miscommunicating, or ‘processing till the cows come home,’ says Balla. Middles are the most monogamous of all the birth orders and the least likely to go into therapy. Your best romantic match? Any birth order, but especially a first-born or baby.

Parenting your middle-born Ensure that each of your children gets a say. Don’t wait for your middle child to come to you with a problem; sit down with him or her, close the door and say gently,”Honey, you seem bummed out about something.|”

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.

Thank you …I assume siblings are born into the exact same family, but in truth they’re not. First-borns come into an environment of adults, typically receiving lots of attention from inexperienced parents who are enthralled by every milestone and terrified by every mishap.

By contrast, middle-borns never experience having parents to themselves, and are overshadowed by their older and more competent siblings ‘who are running, climbing and talking before them ‘while expected to set an example for the younger ones. Then the baby of the family arrives in a busy kid-centred household with seasoned, often more relaxed parents.

They aren’t focused on every milestone by this point, and so this child soon learns to trade charm for attention. As a result, first-borns are conditioned to achieve, middles to accommodate, babies to delight.

While first-borns want to do things right, later-borns want to do things differently. The second child carefully watches what position the eldest has claimed, then carves out a distinct niche. If the first-born shines in math, tennis and violin, the second may pursue art, guitar and skateboarding. In the world of Nobel Prize laureates, first-borns are over-represented in science, later-borns in literature.

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The arrival of a third child automatically creates a middle one, and middle children can be difficult to categorize’which is fine by them, since in forging their identity they actively avoid being boxed in.

Middles’whether the second of three, the second and third of four, or the middle five of seven’usually are in the fewest photos in the family album. Receiving less one-on-one time from parents, middles form attachments with their peers, often developing extensive networks of friends. While they may deeply love their family, they’re the most likely to move far away from home, the least likely to care about family genealogy, and the best prepared for life’s vicissitudes. John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Madonna, Jean Chrétien and Avril Lavigne are all middle children.

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While last-borns are rarely consulted for their opinions or listened to for their views, they soon learn that being funny and adorable goes a long way toward gaining attention and approval.

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As for twins... Sometimes the first-born twin, even if older by only two minutes, takes on first-born traits, but much depends on how they’re treated. Environmentalist David Suzuki is a twin who was born moments before his sister, but Japanese tradition holds that the second-born twin is considered the elder, having graciously moved aside to allow the younger sibling to enter the world first. Interestingly, Suzuki, as an accomplished scientist and attention-loving broadcaster, exhibits traits of all birth orders.

There’s a slew of variables that can skew birth order effects, say the experts. One is gender. If a boy is born after one or more girls (or a girl after one or more boys), that child could be raised as a ‘functional first-born”the first son or daughter in the family. If the spacing between siblings is five years or more, the effects of birth order fade. If some children are closer in age than others’for instance.

Whatever the case — whether you’re true to your birth order personality type or not – it’s always good to remember that any personality type theory really only serves as a tool for greater self-awareness. And any tendencies we may have are simply that – TENDENCIES. If they’re good ones, then by all means nurture them and allow them to blossom.