Body or beast?

The festive season is upon us and I am really struggling to keep my hand away from my mouth to feed it! My body has a mind of its own on top of the one that is in my head. Stubborn as hell and really hard to tame.

I have not done too badly this year. I have been working hard since April, no I have not made any New Year's resolutions. I needed a serious work-life balance, visit the gym more often, and get stronger and physically more supple. I lost a lot of weight. Well for me it was a lot,16 kilograms to be exact, as Discovery told me I was obese with my fitness assessment.

My thing is the fear of picking that weight up again along the way. Festivities make it hard and before you realize it a kilo or two is added. Even though I religiously weigh in every morning. You think, ag (South African slang for nonchalance) it is fine, and there it is! 5 kilos extra and at a point of no return! Or that is how I usually would think and then spiral down or hurl up in this case on the dreaded scale. What a bastard that scale can be! I am sure the scale senses my moods and weighs accordingly.

I feel like a failure and end up thinking why even bother? Why can I not lose weight as quickly as I pick it up? I comfort eat especially when am happy. It is this constant tug-of-war raging between body and beast.

I am seeking the balance. Where it is I do not not know but will not stop until I find it. One thing I need to train myself in is to eat to live and not live to eat. With anything there needs to be moderation in everything I do. Knowing that I can enjoy all that life has to offer, and when I stop, life will run out of whatever I am enjoying.

Realization.

I have to accept both body and beast.

'Money, success and you' by John Kehoe. He said that life is a package deal. I am so guilty of it and as positive as I am I always try and get rid of bad experiences when it enters my life. John carries on by saying that if you do not accept life as a package deal you reject life. That for me is huge as I cannot see myself ever rejecting life.

I have come to the realization with body and beast is to love both. If the beast gets out of hand it is okay as I will soon return to the body. Maybe that was my downfall all along. If I reject the beast or try and push it away it is as if my body misses her other half. When bad comes in I need to sit with it and I should investigate. Only when you make the beast your friend does fear kind of leave.

It all boils down to things I was told and taught. My gran would always say to me that if I did not finish my food there would be no dessert for me. And I wonder why I struggle with my weight.

Shovelling food down my gullet so that I could get the goodies. Nice way of being trained in having a healthy relationship with food.

Allowing.

Again back to not judging an experience whether it is good or bad. Allowing life to unfold and believing that life does not happen to you but through you.

A secret I discovered is to share and upskill people with how to train the beast and let it get along with the body. It keeps me in check and the satisfaction of seeing how people transform is the best thing in the world to me.

If you would like to join the program then send me a private message for more information.

Do share if this appealed to you or if you know of someone who will benefit from it.