Books, Babies and the Beach

Women’s History Month is a great opportunity to reflect on the struggles, accomplishments, and progress (and lack of progress) of women, especially those in our own lives, and to tell their stories.  Last year I shared the journey of my great-grandmother, Margaret Buchanan.  Another story on my mind is that of my mother-in-law, Eloise Janis White.  Every person’s story is unique, and in some part connected to their own particular time, but Ellie’s life shows the quiet determination, grace and persistence women of her generation needed to create their own path during times fairly recent but still very different from today.

Born in 1939 in the Bronx to Peter Janis and Maude Taylor, the older of two children, Ellie grew up in Queens, NY.  After high school she worked at a bank and attended junior college, before marrying Joseph White.  I recall her telling me that she got the strong message as a teenager that a college education was not for girls.  After her wedding, Ellie got her bachelors degree at Lesley College in Cambridge, MA.  In the late 1970’s Ellie already had four kids at home but decided to get her PhD at Boston University in Neuropsychology.  Determined to put herself through graduate school on her own, Ellie obtained her Class C commercial driver’s license and drove a school bus for the town of Lexington, MA for several years while raising her kids and pursuing her studies.  After graduation Ellie built her own practice in neuropsychology, focusing on evaluating children and adults for learning differences. 

When I started dating her youngest daughter (now my wife of 35 years), I got to know Ellie as a smart, charming, well-read person of grace and wit who loved dancing, intellectual debate, and her family.  She was never happier than when she was around her many grandchildren.  One favorite activity of Ellie’s was taking her grandchildren to the local beach in raincoats on stormy days, when the wind was howling and the waves were crashing, running them around to exhaustion.

Ellie passed away suddenly at the relatively young age of 66.  Several years ago, my wife and I bought and established a Little Free Library (a small outdoor book lending library you can put out by the curb), and installed a dedication plate to Ellie to honor her love for “books, babies and the beach.” 

When I got to know Ellie in the late 1980s, women were more established in the workplace in professional careers and the business world, and her position as a practicing neuropsychologist did not seem unusual. You would have to walk in her shoes, growing up in the 1950s and entering adult life in the 1960s, to imagine the soft and hard barriers and all the obstacles--social, professional, and educational--she had to push through in academia and the broader world to pursue her dream of a doctorate and running her own business, as well as her roles of wife and mother. She managed to raise her three daughters to be smart, talented women as part of a wonderful family. Many celebrated women leaders of that generation have told their stories, and it wasn’t an easy road for any of them. 

It's still not an easy road for women today. According to new research from Fidelity’s 2024 Women’s History Month Study, women are actively breaking down old stereotypes and misconceptions that have held them back from feeling financially confident, including the idea that men are better at managing finances.

Like my great-grandmother, I view Ellie as a trailblazer in her own quiet way, making her own path, setting an example, and rejecting barriers.  It’s worth a moment to reflect on those in our lives who inspire us, often just by example, and what their paths were before we knew them.  Happy Women’s History Month!

Kevin