Not The Bored Room! Strategic Storytelling. Newsletter # 50
Peter Christie
Storyteller at Not The Bored Room! Probably the world's most experienced business storyteller, possibly also the oldest.
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It’s been a while, with gorgeous holidays by the Big Chief and his lovely squaw to Europe and Kwa-Zulu Natal in-between editions # 49 and # 50 of Not The Bored Room. Following this travel theme, herewith another story from Philip Gooden’s The Mammoth Book of Literary Anecdotes (Robinson, 2002). The anecdote relates the last chapter of Thomas Coryate’s life. One of the earliest travel writers, in 1608 Coryate began his explorations of Europe on foot, thereafter producing a narrative called Coryats Crudities. He later travelled to Asia and, as recounted by Anthony A. Wood in Athenae Oxonienses, died in Surat, India. “In Surat being over-kindly used by some of the English, who gave him Sack (a white wine from Spain), which they had brought from England, he calling for, as soon as he first heard of it, and crying, ‘Sack, Sack, is there such a thing as Sack? I pray give me some Sack,’ and drinking of it moderately, (for he was very temperate), it increased his flux which he had then upon him: and this caused him within a few days of his very tedious and troublesome travels, (for he went most on foot), at that place to come to his journey’s end … For if one should go to the extremist part of the world East, another West, another North, and another South, they must all meet at last together in the Field of Bones, wherein our traveller hath now taken up his lodging.”
We continue hereafter with some more Wonderful Words, and in the 10th in the series of Schlumper-Dinckle satirical stories, in Storytime we establish a travel-related trend. Then to the Tail, where you’ll find details regarding Holding Court: Every Leader a Storyteller, this year’s Storytelling Skills Wonder Workshop in Johannesburg, and links to: another short, storytelling skills taster workshop, also in Johannesburg; the brochures for our In-house Storytelling Skills Wonder Workshops; and to Living Legends, our Celebratory Storybook product.
Enjoy, or unsubscribe!
‘If you carry treasure, don’t travel at night.’
(Proverbially Japanese)
Wonderful Words
The blurb to Geddes and Grosset’s The Illustrated Dictionary of Unfamiliar Words says the ‘… book concentrates on defining those words that the average person will often encounter but which may not be immediately familiar … a fantastic aid to general knowledge, an invaluable source for puzzle solvers, and can help increase and improve your vocabulary.’ We continue to put those claims to the test, with 10 examples beginning with ‘by - cr’ from the Idiomatic Expressions part of the book’s Language Section.
- By the book – In a way that strictly adheres to the established rules (as recorded in writing.)
- Call a spade a spade – To speak frankly without euphemism.
- Call the tune – To decide what is to happen or be done; from the proverbial phrase ‘He that pays the piper calls the tune.
- Carry coals to Newcastle – To do something unnecessary or superfluous; from the city of Newcastle-upon-Tyne, being a centre of the English coal industry.
- Caught red-handed – Discovered in the act of committing a crime or doing something wrong; from the idea of a murderer’s hands being stained red with blood.
- Chip on one’s shoulder – To have a grievance or be overly touchy; from the idea of a belligerent man putting a wood chip on his shoulder and daring anyone to take it off.
- Climb on the bandwagon – To join others in supporting a cause or a political party, or to follow a trend; from the idea of climbing aboard a wagon in a parade on which a band was playing.
- Cock-and-bull story – A story, especially an excuse, that is obviously false; from the idea of old morality tales that often featured talking animals.
- Crocodile tears – An insincere display of grief or sympathy; from the old idea that a crocodile wept to lure victims.
- Cross the Rubicon – To commit yourself irrevocably to a course of action; from Julius Caesar’s act of crossing the river Rubicon.
Storytime
The World Famous Weaver Birds
Everything that Patricia Stitch-Wizard, Jennifer Snazzy-Stocking and Terry Gorgeous-Garter had learnt about knitting, they owed to their needlework grand mistress, the inimitable Jean Puddle-Purl. None of these four fine ladies, all considerable knitters of note, were spring chickens. On the contrary, three were wintry octogenarians, some closer to eighty and others closer to ninety. The fourth, younger member of the party was in the autumnal phase of life. They all, however, remained productive, creative craftswomen, well-known in the knitting, sewing, patchwork, crochet and applique communities. They were sought after exhibitors, speakers and teachers at local and international festivals, and authors of esteemed, best-selling books on all things needlework. World famous weaver birds!
“We’d prefer to eat early, Jean, so that we can avoid the busy Friday afternoon traffic back home from Pretoria,” Terry Gorgeous-Garter, representative of the Johannesburg trio, requested over the phone to their mentor and friend in Pretoria.
“Fine, I know I lovely little lunch place, Italian, or is it Greek, I forget, continental anyway, not far from the home. Just five minutes away, around the corner. Why not pick me up at midday, we’ll have a few hours to nibble and natter and you’ll be home in good time for afternoon tea.”
“Right you are then. Friday at noon it is.”
Patricia, Jenny and Terry arrived fifteen minutes early for the appointment, but it didn’t matter. Jean was raring to go. She had not been out for quite some time, had not seen her friends for months, and had been waiting, all dolled up, since ten in the morning. Soon after arrival at the retirement village, they all climbed into Terry Gorgeous-Garter’s Ferrari. Yes, you might say that a sports car, especially a Ferrari GT4CLusso, was a surprising vehicle in which to find these elderly ladies, but don’t display your ageist and sexist petticoats. Terry Gorgeous-Garter had for over half-a-century been a keen and active member of Johannesburg’s Ferrari Club, who together with her late husband had collected nine of the marque, the contents of her large garage worth a considerable fortune. She was proud of her new four-seater Ferrari, the first in the range.
It was a squash. Jean Puddle-Purl, expansive in girth, sat in the front passenger seat alongside Terry Gorgeous-Garter, with the longer-legged, slimmer Patricia Stitch-Wizard and Jennifer Snazzy-Stocking, incidentally sisters, confined to the back. They roared away to the gaze of a number of admiring onlookers, some male occupants at the home together with the village’s security officers stationed at the gate. Terry’s long red scarf trailed flamboyantly from the open driver’s window into the wind, a custom she had cultivated since owning her first Ferrari, and which always drew the attention of other drivers and onlookers to her film star flair.
“To the left, my dear,” instructed Jean as they exited the complex. “Just follow the road until we come to a small shopping centre.”
The small shopping centre proved an elusive target.
“Wouldn’t we have come to it by now?” asked Terry, after fifteen minutes of driving at the speed limit, going over eight stop streets, and through four traffic lights.
“No, I think it’s just a little further,” Jean reassured, patting Terry’s knee. “Don’t be impatient now, darling.”
Jean turned to Patricia and Jennifer, cramped in the back, and smiled.
After another ten minutes, three stop streets and two traffic lights, the discomforted passengers on the backseat became vocal.
“The neighbourhood has changed a lot since when we started,” observed the elder sister, Patricia, shifting on the seat.
“Look, ladies, there is a herd of cows to our left, and just a little bit back I saw a flock of sheep grazing in a field,” remarked her younger sister, Jennifer.
“That’s what I love about living in Pretoria,” replied Jean.
Terry was stony-faced, concentrating on the driving, having sped up in the faster speed-zone, doing her best in the low-slung car to avoid the growing number of potholes.
“In the old days, it’s what we used to call a peri-urban area, remember?” added Jean.
“Yes, but shouldn’t we have come to the shopping centre by now?” asked Patricia, transferring her weight on her bony posterior, her disjointed knees throbbing, and regretting that she had not insisted on driving the ladies to Pretoria in her comfortable Honda Ballade.
“I’m sure we’ll be there soon, Pat,” Jean replied. “I recognise this from before.”
“But Jeanie, you said that the restaurant was nearby the home. We’ve been driving for more than half-an-hour. There haven’t been any shopping centres, just houses, smallholdings and now farms. Do you think we’re going the right way?” probed Terry Gorgeous-Garter, worried that the tarmac may soon end and they’d be driving her new expensive car on a sand road.
“Yes-yes, I recognise this place. I knew I was right. I wish you’d have more confidence in me, and more patience. See! Pecanwood Golf Estate!” exclaimed Jean.
“Jeanie, goodness sakes alive! We’re now at Hartbeesfontein Dam, thirty miles from where you stay. It’s the other side of Pretoria. We could have driven to Johannesburg. Is the restaurant near the dam?” asked Jennifer Snazzy-Stocking, who had developed painful cramps in both of her calves, and whose hip replacement joints were aching.
“I don’t think so. I thought it was in town,” Jean answered.
“What is the name of the restaurant?” asked an irritable Terry Gorgeous-Garter, coming to a T-junction with the names of two familiar towns in different directions on the road sign.
“Ah, now I know where we are. Go left, Terry, will you, dear. It’s along this road somewhere. Giovanni’s or Sergio’s, oh, for the life of me, it might be Zorba’s. We’ll ask someone along the way. They’ll know,” suggested Jean.
“But, Jeanie, this road goes to Magaliesberg! That’s in another province,” said the ever-observant, head-turned Patricia Stitch-Wizard, now sitting on her knees, facing backwards and adopting an Alexander technique position.
“Oh, dearie! Is it really? I don’t think the restaurant is that far. Do any of you?”
“Darling, we don’t know where the restaurant is. Surely you understand that. We’ve been looking for forty-five minutes, following your directions,” snapped Jennifer Snazzy-Stocking.
Terry Gorgeous-Garter pulled the Ferrari over to the side of the road, stopped and turned off the ignition. All the ladies climbed out and stretched their legs, none more so and with greater relief than the two long-legged old birds, though the now shorter sisters stayed stooped in stiffness.
“Jeanie, I think we should phone your daughter. She may know the restaurant you were thinking of,” Terry Grand-Garter, a practical person, suggested.
Jean Puddle-Purl delved into her large handbag, retrieved her device, and phoned her daughter.
“You speak to her, Terry. You’re the driver,” advised Jeanie, handing over the phone.
Once Jeanie’s daughter had her mother’s bearings, she advised the old ladies where they had gone wrong in finding Homer’s, the Greek restaurant, where she had often dined with her mother.
“It’s less than five minutes from the home,” she confirmed. “But when you came out of the complex, you should have turned right,” she said. “Please excuse my Mom. She’s getting confused.”
Lunch for the weaver birds was one-and-a-half-hours late, but it didn’t matter. Time always travels fast when riding in a Ferrari.
Tail
Keen to develop your storytelling skills to an altogether different level?
Register for HOLDING COURT: Every Leader a Storyteller! A Storytelling Skills Wonder Workshop. For full details, follow the link to the brochure:
New to storytelling, and rather taste first, and eat later?
For people looking for a short taster to the power of storytelling for personal leadership purposes, QualityLife Company is hosting the Big Chief and Bugz Binnie in facilitating a ½ day storytelling skills workshop on the morning of Tuesday the 14th of June 2018 in Johannesburg. Please click on the following link for more details.
http://www.qualitylife.co.za/storytelling/
Interested in a storytelling skills workshop for your in-house team?
Choose your theme and we shall deliver. More details on the flyer, the link to which is:
http://bigchieftalkingbull.co.za/workshop/Storytelling_Wonder_Workshop-In-House.pdf
Does your company have a significant milestone to celebrate?
Consider Living Legends, a celebratory storybook written by Big Chief Talking Bull. Here is the link:
http://www.bigchieftalkingbull.co.za/Flyers/LivingLegends2016.pdf
For the lonely Piston, the approaching khaki-clad horseback rider, armed with a rifle, was an alluring sight.
Big Chief Talking Bull a.k.a. Peter Christie.
Not the Bored Room! Strategic Storytelling.
16 Little Manor, 1 Manor Lane, Strathavon, Sandton, 2031.
PO Box 551, Strathavon, Sandton, 2031.
073-236-0305 mobile, 011-440-8560 office, 011-440-8563 fax.