Brave at any age - is Imposter Syndrome different in your 40s to your 20s?
Ian Browne
Early careers professional - Apprenticeships - Helping leaders & teams Stress Less
When I’m helping people overcome Imposter Syndrome I often ask when can you remember the time when you didn’t feel this way.
It usually produces a long pause, lots of silence and a realisation it’s longer than anyone cares to remember.
We know Imposter Syndrome can grow strong roots through your teenage years but is it different having Imposter Syndrome in your 20s to your 40s?
Your 20s: Finding Your Footing
In your twenties, life can feel an exciting and sometimes overwhelming whirlwind of opportunity but also expectations.
Whether in work or in relationships – society has developed something called age norm expectations. Despite decades of legislation banning age discrimination, many western cultures are hooked on the idea of things we should achieve by a certain age.
And therefore, a feeling of impending doom and failure when we don’t achieve them.
I could tell you that you’re likely to spend longer working than any generation before you, but you’ll still feel that pressure to make it to VP before you’re thirty, be the youngest in your family to reach a certain position, feel a meaningful relationship is never going to happen if you’ve not met that special someone by the time you’re thirty.
Reality when you’re in your 20s is there are more people older than you, with more experience, wisdom and experience, than those below you.
What imposter syndrome in your 20s can look like
Feeling out of your depth in your first real job
Comparing yourself to friends who seem to be more successful, thank you LinkedIn for those terrible I am celebrating posts
Worrying you don’t deserve the opportunities you’ve been given
Why It happens: You’re new to the professional world, and with little experience to fall back on. That’s a place that self-doubt can thrive. Everything is new and the learning curve is steep. Instead of seeing that as growth, as you observe others around you who know the game, it’s tempting to see yourself as inadequate.
Three phases to repeat that’ll help you manage it:
1. Everyone starts somewhere. Learning is part of growth, not proof of failure
2. Every small success is another step towards a bigger goal
3. People are generous, if I’m not being supported it’s likely because I’ve not asked for help
Your 40s: Climbing New Heights
Time flies and before you know it we’re fast-forwarding 20 years. 20 years from that time when your Imposter Syndrome was obsessed with everyone older and wiser than you.
Now you’re older so why doesn’t Imposter Syndrome simply vanish? The reality is it just takes on another form where even seasoned professionals can find themselves doubting their abilities, especially stepping into new leadership roles or working with younger leaders.
Again, part of the culprit is our age norm expectations. You may well have worked hard to get where you are. Then you meet someone who got there with age on their side, and it feels tougher every day to keep pace with shifting knowledge.
What Imposter Syndrome in your 40s can look like
Feeling like your success is due to luck, not skill.
Fearing you’ll be "found out" as a fraud, even with decades of experience.
Questioning your relevance in a rapidly changing workplace.
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Why it happens
At this age stage the stakes are even higher. You may have a senior position; you may be responsible for major projects. You may have to make some major career pivots. Surrounding you are people who appear to have got there faster, are carrying less baggage in every sense.
And the pressure to balance work with personal responsibilities and all the complexities of potentially having caring responsibilities above and below you can feel overwhelming and fuel feelings of inadequacy.
Three phrases to repeat that’ll help you manage it
1. I know what success looks like. I’ve experienced it already and will do again.
2. My experience makes me unique and distinctive; this is my special advantage, no-one can take away.
3. When negative feelings are taking over I need to stop, re-centre and search for the gift or opportunity.
In Positive Intelligence we teach the concept of the Gift or Opportunity. We hold a principle that every circumstance can be turned into a gift or an opportunity. This may feel difficult to start with but if you change your mindset to search for the gift or opportunity it teases your brain into thinking forward and for positive solutions instead of dwelling in the past.
The Common Ground
Whether you’re 25 or 45 Imposter Syndrome thrives on that fear of being ‘found out’.
The thing to remember though is it only kicks in when you’re outside your comfort zone.
And that’s a good thing. Because it’s the only place that growth can come from.
It’s hard to kill Imposter Syndrome entirely but you can defuse its powers.
- Acknowledge what’s going well for you instead of fixating on what isn’t
- Lean into your natural strengths, let them shine and help others
- Use constructive feedback to grow not as a weapon for self-criticism
Brave at Any Age
Imposter syndrome doesn’t discriminate by age, but it doesn’t have to hold you back, either.
By embracing your unique strengths and leaning into growth, you can rewrite the narrative of self-doubt into one of self-belief—no matter where you are in your career.
Overcome Imposter Syndrome and be a Braver leader.
If this resonates with you, let’s talk. I help rising leaders like you navigate imposter syndrome so you can focus on doing what you do best—leading with confidence, courage, and impact.
Becoming a Brave Leader means facing into the parts you hide, mask and confronting them.
These are the things that make you dodge the punches, the difficult decisions and hold back your leadership potential.
Your judge.
Your controller, avoider, hyper-achiever, stickler, people pleaser, restless, hyper rational, hyper vigilant and victim tendencies you’ve grown up with, it all starts with you.
Click here to complete a free diagnostic to help you understand what’s holding you back. www.subscribepage.io/2w7ob9
All free, no obligation. But in my opinion the fastest, most effective way to overcome Imposter Syndrome for good.
In the meantime, you can check out my other resources here.