Break 3 Toxic Communication Patterns with a Medium
Lisa Gornall
Creating Sustainable Success and Work-life Balance for High Performers in Start Ups & Small Teams | Corporate Medium | Spiritual Medium & Mentor | Mindset & Energy Strategist | Author | Motivational Speaker
At work or at home, it’s easy to run into encounters with others that have toxic communication patterns.
It’s frustrating and can make you stoop to a lower level. We don’t want that as this causes way more work for you and you have enough going on.
Instead let’s energetically address 3 toxic communication patterns that you will come across and how to handle it like I would as a Medium - after all, everything is energy.
As an Energy Strategist, I find that communication is a big problem that affects most of my clients. Whether it’s a lack of communication, ghosting or falling into old patterns, this is the article to help you make a healthy change.
Let’s dive into 3 toxic communication patterns and address them from an energy standpoint, like I do as a Medium.
1. Not Communicating a Problem at All
“It’s ok.” “Nothings wrong.” “It’s fine.”
And you know it’s not. Something is clearly wrong. You can tell by their nonverbals and the way they’re acting.
This is frustrating as you have to stop what you're doing and figure out this puzzle that's been created for NO reason.
People don’t have time to try and figure out what is wrong. Most will just move on unless this is important and directly affecting them.
How to Solve Like a Medium
As a Medium, my advice in this scenario is to NOT take on this person’s energy. Whether it’s at home or at work, this is an attention seeking pattern that only continues when you play along.
This is not only unhealthy but a very low energy vibration exchange where they are trying to pull you into their drama. They clearly don’t want to fix whatever is wrong, so you guessing and trying to get involved is not a good use of your energy.
One thing you can do is model the healthy communication pattern of expressing yourself when something is wrong or bothering you. “I feel” is always a great way to share a concern. No one else knows how you’re feeling so if they say they do, this is a unhealthy communication red flag.
If someone doesn’t tell you the problem, it’s not your problem. Remember that! Energetically, don’t take on their energy no matter what they do. Don’t let it affect you, come near you or impact you in any way. Stay calm, balanced and focused on your tasks. You cannot address problems that the other person doesn’t want to address. What you can do is address your energy. What should you be putting your energy into? What’s a good return on your energy?
Don’t take it on.
Don’t let it into your energy.
Don’t let it into your body.
It’s not being communicated to you, don’t try to handle it in any way. Be free. And when the problem is addressed with you, you can decide how to address and handle it then.
2. Expected to JUST Know What’s Wrong without Being Told
Unfortunately, the majority of the population cannot read a mind. I can, but I’m a Medium. Most people are not that psychic and aren’t Mediums.
People have their own stuff going on and running rampant in their own head. The only way someone knows what you want from them is with clear communication - not toxic communication.
Expecting others to just know what’s wrong is another toxic communication pattern and even a game. It doesn’t get good results and it creates drama. When you’re not told what the problem is, you go down a spiral of trying to guess and figure out what’s wrong. Chances are, you’re going to think it’s the wrong thing and nothing is still moving forward in this communication.
You don’t know what you don’t know. Remember this if you have someone doing this to you.
How to Solve Like a Medium
As a Medium, I like to recognize this pattern and not put any energy into it at all.
Zero energy. Zero effort. Nothing.
If they don’t want to tell me what I didn’t know, that’s on them.
Make sure you DO NOT let their energy come into yours. This is their problem, do not take it on. They’re playing toxic games, don’t let your energy get involved.
Recognize this toxic pattern and don’t take on their energy.
3. Ghosting
Ghosting is ignoring someone and not addressing anything at all. A person simply disappears with no explanation, leaving you questioning and guessing what you did wrong.
It is super hurtful to get ghosted and it leaves you questioning what you did that was so awful? What exactly did you do wrong? How did you hurt someone to have this be the end result?
The worst part is you often won't even get answers.
Ghosting has been around forever but now has this name that accurately describes what has happened.
According to Oxford Languages ghosting is: the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
I just helped a very highly educated client with a friend of 20 years that ghosted her. She knows how to handle conflict, she’s even addressed it correctly in the unread, unopened text. Physically there is nothing more you can do.
How to Solve Like a Medium
When ghosting happens to you, the other person does not have the ability to address and communicate problems with you in a healthy way. They often make everything your fault and they just vanish. They often don’t share what the problem is, they’re just gone. They may come back later and apologize but the damage is done.
From an energy perspective, the best thing you can do is heal the relationship ending on your side. Ghosting is typically so hurtful and breaks trust that the relationship cannot be recovered or be the same. Remember some relationships are for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When this happens, it’s NOT a lifetime relationship.
What I have done for myself and what I teach my clients to do energetically when they’re ghosted is to free themselves from the energetic situation. I am free, you are free. We are both free.
This video - How to Heal a Relatonship without Talking to Them will walk you through the energy healing here. Honestly, this is the most powerful thing you can do. Make peace with how the relationship was and move on. Also learn from it and don’t recreate it.
Your goal is to have healthy communication and healthy relationships. This doesn’t involve ghosting.
The solution to toxic communication patterns is to CREATE healthy communication patterns and NOT ABSORB anything energetically from the toxic communication patterns. Healthy patterns are ones that everyone feels better when they walk away.
Your goal is to surround yourself with people that you lift up and that lift you up as well. If you find yourself in a toxic communication pattern, don't take it on.
About Lisa Gornall
Lisa is a Spiritual Medium, Mindset Mentor and Energy Strategist for teams and individuals so they can create sustainable success and work-life balance.
As a Corporate Medium, she offers customized programs for startups and high performance teams to help them reduce stress leave, prevent burnout and increase high performer rentention.
Her clients say her work is deep and transformational, unlike anything they’ve experienced with other consultants and practitioners. They feel fully supported as they reach their goals, LOVING life in and out of work.
Lisa is an author, trainer and speaker. Get her books on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or a signed copy by Lisa.
Copyright Lisa Gornall 2024
Love this take on communication with an emphasis on energy levels and healing. Communication is everything. This is a much needed view on communication. Good read.