Break The Bias: Why are Women Leaders called "Bossy", while Men are called "Leaders"?

The "Ban Bossy Campaign" led by Sheryl Sandberg (COO of Meta Platforms Inc, formerly Facebook, Founder of LeanIn.org) in 2014 criticises the word ‘bossy’ to describe Assertive Girls and Women, as the word "Bossy" is stigmatising and may discourage Girls & Women from taking up leadership positions. The goal of this campaign was “to help girls and women feel more confident and comfortable as leaders”.

Being Visionary, Assertive, Confident, Empathetic, Strategic and being persistent on growth & top-notch Results are among the globally accepted Top leadership Traits of Powerful & Successful Leaders. When a Leader is non-compromising on these traits, it is most often construed differently when the Leader is a Man Vs. Woman.

Irrespective of any gender these Leadership Traits are vital to an Individual's transformation in the journey of Leadership. Diversity, Equity & Inclusiveness in Organisations encourage both Men and Women to take up decision-making roles and elevate to leadership positions.

But, the question is:

Do Women in Leadership Roles get the same acknowledgement and acceptance as Men?

A woman is conditioned/taught to be accommodating, fragile, shy, and quiet from a very young age. She is taught to think and act in ways "conforming to societal norms of women'', marking boundaries around her, unlike men. Yet in the later stages of life, they criticise women for being weak and fragile. These are the same qualities that society encouraged and pushed during their adolescence. 

This mindset built over generations has created a framework of generalist qualities/traits of an ideal woman as someone who is soft-spoken, polite, accommodating etc. These are the qualities that are very opposite to what a Powerful Leader should possess.

Hence, according to the norms of society: “The qualities/traits needed to be an ideal woman do not fit the essential qualities/traits needed to be a leader”. On the other hand, men are naturally considered masculine, dominant, confident, and assertive which already constitute essential qualities/traits for being a Leader.

Here the problem is that the standard norms of being a Successful leader are often mistaken with Gender norms. Gender norms that define a woman to be accommodating and polite don’t allow a woman to raise her voice in meetings, speak her mind out in public, and stand up for her team in getting hikes/increments/promotions. Every instance where these norms are broken, they are often looked at with raised eyebrows, sometimes disliked and are very often called "Bossy". 

We all have to understand that there’s a huge difference between being Bossy and being a Powerful Leader. Being bossy is feeling insecure with your position and keeping others down so that someone will not take over you from your role at the Top. Being a leader is leading a team with great responsibility, empowering and preparing them to be leaders for the future.

Women with leadership qualities have to be encouraged to portray themselves and accepted for their Unique Leadership Personas. A Woman in a Leadership Role has to be accepted as a Leader and not labelled as bossy.

It is up to each one of us, as Parents, as Professionals, as Spouses, as Friends, to build cultures & Workplaces that encourage inclusive thinking.

Inclusivity breeds new possibilities, innovations, and growth that we might have never imagined. Women with unique & differential leadership qualities such as being empathetic, emotionally intelligent, creative, assertive and inherently multi-tasking are natural gifts that need conducive environments and encouragement to support in achieving the destined success stories.

We, as a society, have a responsibility to create a beautiful World where Women can express themselves, develop as leaders and make a difference in Businesses & for a greater future.

References: LeanIn.Org | Banbossy.com