Break The Ceiling: How to get more women seated at the table.

Yesterday I attended the 'Break The Ceiling' Women's Leadership Summit in Singapore (full disclosure, I was a guest of the Singapore Institute of Directors - one of the sponsors of the event.)

While I've attended many women's leadership events around the world, most have been in Australia or the US, so I was curious to see what themes would be most dominant given many in the room were successful female entrepreneurs or women in senior corporate leadership roles throughout Asia Pacific and Japan.

What ultimately surprised me most was not how different the challenges and concerns were compared to those I've heard expressed at conferences in Washington D.C. or Sydney, but rather how alike they were. As women shared their 'battle stories' of combating everything from benevolent sexism to outright misogyny, the key thread woven through many of them was the need for change from both the 'outside in and the inside out.' More specifically, for organisations to change their policies and procedures to attract, retain and support women, and for women to own their success, back themselves more and doubt themselves less.

While it's impossible to sum up all that I absorbed from the day, I wanted to sum up my key take-aways in the hope that they will help get more people in organisations talking about the issues that are perpetuating the lack of women in leadership roles and keeping women from making the difference their difference makes - not just to the bottom line of organisations (which is now well documented) but to the betterment of our communities, families and society as a whole.

1. Ensure there are seats at the table for women.

While debate rages on between the merits of quotas versus targets, there is no doubt that unless we have hard goals set in place to get more women moving beyond middle management into senior leadership roles the 'leaky pipeline' will continue to leak and the paucity of women at the top will continue.

2. Embolden women to take their seat.

As I've written previously in Forbes about the 'gender confidence gap,' women often lack confidence in their ability to take on senior roles and 'lean out' at the very times in their career when they need to be feeling their fear and taking a seat anyway! Programs and support systems to nurture leadership confidence and help women grow the belief in themselves to take their seat (whether it's offered or not), to speak up, hold their own and be bold are as critical a part of the solution as the 'outside in' policies and procedures organisations set up to nurture women.

3. Provide more advocacy, sponsorship and mentoring.

Research shows that when women have people higher up in an organisation who are able to make introductions, open doors, provide advice and, when needed, to nudge women out of their comfort zone into bigger roles, women go further faster.

4. Empower women to own their success.

In line with the above, women cannot wait until their organisation has embraced diversity and inclusion before they step up and start being 'CEO of their own careers.' Women shouldn't wait to be given opportunities, they need to be proactive in going after them, which is something men often do as second nature. Must women expect a perception of being too ambitious or bossy for displaying the exact same behaviours as men? You bet. Do it anyway.

5. Embrace feminine leadership traits.

For women to thrive they don't need to learn to be more like men. They need only to be more of themselves. It's not that the traditional female leadership traits are better or worse than those of men. They are simply different. And together, better decisions are produced. So to all women who often feel they need to don their power suit and 'man up' - you don't. What you DO need is to start seeing yourself as a highly capable leader and to simply be more of who you authentically are. People can quickly see through someone who is trying to be someone they are not. Your greatest value lies in what makes you different. So embrace your femininity and individuality. That is where your greatest power lies.

6. Build diversity accountability

At every level in organisations and in every step along the way there must be accountability. Accountability in ensuring women are well represented in the candidate pool. Accountability in who is being promoted. Accountability in the development roles being provided. Accountability in how women are being supported and sponsored. Unless leaders at the top are being held accountable for change, managers further down will revert back to the familiarity (and patriarchy) of the status quo.

7. Get the guys on board

Research shows that men are more likely to think that sexism is a thing of the past. So when women are promoted into roles ahead of men who have worked just as hard, who've not taken time off for children and are equally qualified, it doesn't serve women (particularly if they aren't equipped for the role!). To gain 'buy in' from the blokes and avoid the perception of tokenism, men have to be enrolled in the bigger 'why' behind the efforts to support women into leadership roles and be educated about the pervasiveness of unconscious bias. Barclay's Bank male allies program, Male Champions for Change and the #HeForShe programs are examples of just such an initiatives. They also provide a huge source of encouragement for women because let's face it, when we know men have our backs, it makes it easier to back ourselves.

8. Begin at home. Early.

Sure, it's vital to rethink how organisations are managing the female talent. But let's face it, negative gender stereotypes and the unconscious bias they create begins from the youngest age, right in our own homes. The campaign for true gender equity cannot be won in the workplace until we take a look at how we are raising and educating children. As I've written previously, even well meaning parents can unwittingly reinforce negative gender stereotypes and shape the way our children see themselves and the opposite gender. For instance, parents are more likely to encourage their sons to be engineers and to be more cautious with their daughters on the playground. These are small things, but they have a long term impact.

9. Combat the stigma against men

Several times at the conference women in senior roles shared how their stay at home husbands were left alone at social gatherings by other men upon learning that they were the one at home managing the household and kids. Even in Denmark, a country known for its gender neutrality, studies have found that 80% of Danish heterosexual men would feel uncomfortable if their female partner earned more than they did. Needless to say we have a long way to go on both counts, but until it is as acceptable for a man as it is for a woman to stay at home and raise the kid, gender equity will remain illusive.

10. Build the resilience to lead

The term that it's a "man's world" often holds the implication that it can be a little too tough for "the ladies." But whoever said that women can't have both grace and grit, or be tough and feminine all at the same time? The truth is that the workplace is competitive and business can be cut throat and not everyone is going to like what you do or who are you are.

Women have to be willing to take risks and stand their ground, and when things don't go to plan (which is inevitable), to dust themselves off and move ahead. Not being liked by everyone and not having people say yes every time is part and parcel of what it takes to forge change and be a leader. So finding the courage to step up, own our value and be a force for change goes hand in hand with building resilience to deal with the knocks and the knockers along the way.

Hoping something in here resonates with you and if it doesn't, please share. Because as every forward thinking man and woman knows, everyone is better off when everyone has the opportunity to step up, to fulfill their potential and to make the difference their difference makes - regardless of gender, age, religion or ethnicity.

Diversity is good for everyone. The sooner we embrace the richness it brings, the sooner we benefit from it.

Margie Warrell is an author, speaker, coach and facilitator who is passionate about supporting women and men to become stronger agents for change and braver leaders at every step in their careers and lives. www.margiewarrell.com