Breakdown or breakthrough: on being profoundly gifted.

Back in the summer of 2014 at an education conference focused on gifted children, I found myself intrigued by a presenter's story—a tale of a gifted postgraduate PhD student who, in an act of what I can only speculate as symbolic defiance against the institution, chose to print and then burn their thesis on the university grounds. The image of years of hard work consumed by flames was both amusing and thought-provoking to me.

As the presenter recounted the student's story, describing their perceived "mental breakdown" during the fiery act, I couldn't help but wonder if what seemed to others like a breakdown was actually a breakthrough—a cathartic experience fueled by intense emotions and a desire for liberation. This resonated deeply with me, as a gifted adult familiar with the rollercoaster of emotions that often accompanies intense intellectual pursuits. And even more so now after almost a decade working as a mental health nurse through emergency and acute inpatient psychiatric services.

In the world of giftedness, such intense emotional experiences are not uncommon. Gifted individuals, like myself, often experience what psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski termed "overexcitabilities" or "intensities"—heightened sensitivities and emotional responses that can sometimes manifest as what others may view as extreme reactions. These intensities can lead to moments of profound introspection and personal growth, akin to what Dąbrowski described as "positive disintegration"—a process of breaking down existing structures to pave the way for higher levels of development and self-actualisation.

I couldn't help but wonder how the PhD student in the presenter's story would have self-identified with Dąbrowski's theory of positive disintegration. Did their act of burning their thesis signify a disintegration of their previous self, a shedding of old beliefs and limitations? Or was it a bold declaration of their commitment to personal growth and transformation and rejection of bureaucracy or injustice? Perhaps it was both—a chaotic yet transformative journey toward self-discovery and authenticity.

This story struck a chord with me, as it reminded me of a similar rebellion I experienced around the same time. I had recently graduated from nursing school, a conscious decision to actually finish the degree. However, instead of conforming to the expected path of applying for the nursing new graduate program, I rebelled. I shocked and bewildered those around me by refusing to apply to the NETP or NESP new graduate nursing programmes, unable to see a path forward where I could fit as a nurse. I felt I was never properly socialised into the culture of nursing.

I took my rebellion a step further by burning all of my notes and anything that reminded me of nursing school in a fire in my backyard—except for the things I thought I could sell. It was a symbolic act of liberation, a release from the constraints of a path that no longer resonated with me. That summer was a busy one where I got a septum piercing, took up lessons in argentine tango, salsa, and modern jive, delved into the classics section of the Palmerston North city library, then thought seriously about enrolling in an English Literature degree, joined three governance boards and then joined a paranormal investigation team. I felt better.

Despite the depth of our experiences, gifted individuals can often find themselves misunderstood. There's a common misconception that giftedness equates to effortless success in all areas of life. However, the reality is far more complex. Gifted individuals face challenges—social, emotional, and academic—that are often overlooked or dismissed. And by the way, I wasn’t a top student academically even though I was accelerated multiple grades in primary school.

We grapple with feelings of loneliness and alienation, yearning for connections with people who share our passions and understand our intensity. Our emotional responses, though genuine, can be misconstrued as overreactions or moodiness by those who do not understand the depth of our feelings.

Moreover, traditional educational settings may not always accommodate our unique learning styles and needs, leading to boredom, disengagement, and underachievement. This perpetuates the misconception that gifted individuals are inherently successful without effort, overlooking the struggles and setbacks we encounter along the way.

Giftedness encompasses a wide range of traits, including intellectual curiosity, creativity, sensitivity, intensity, and complexity. These traits can manifest in various ways, from community leaders and advocates, artistic pursuits to scientific endeavours, and humanitarian efforts to entrepreneurial ventures.

By fostering environments of understanding, acceptance, and support, we can help gifted people thrive and reach their full potential, contributing their invaluable gifts to the world in meaningful and impactful ways.

In the end, whether the PhD student experienced a breakdown or a breakthrough remains open to interpretation, and notably, their own story narrative around their lived experience is of the most importance. What is certain, however, is the power of gifted people to channel their intensities into transformative experiences, pushing the boundaries of conventional thinking and paving the way for personal growth and self-discovery.

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