Bringing Together Israeli and Palestinian Families

A Message to You

Albert Einstein recognized that “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” He understood that we needed to step outside of ourselves and to transcend our thinking in favor of a mindset that embraces inclusiveness. To transcend our thinking we need to learn how to nurture within ourselves the ability to feel empathy, to develop a compassionate understanding of those different from us, and to recognize the profundity of our own being as well as that of others.

This new open-hearted consciousness recognizes the depth of who we are, as beings who came from the same source and need the same things. Instead of seeing the world through the lens of our own wants, needs, and fears, recognize we are all the same in wanting to have love and peace and compassion in our lives. Everybody has their own point of view, depending on what their life events have been, and their very personal way of seeing the world — a world we will only know by listening deeply to others and seeing them as they truly are.

In this article, Marina Cantacuzino, Founder of The Forgiveness Project, wrote: “Perhaps this new consciousness will mean being able to embrace complexity and contradiction at the same time as holding a deep reverence for the sanctity of every human life.” In this month’s newsletter, we explore different ways of seeing, listening, and embracing the complexity and sanctity of every human life.

What Can You Do?

This month’s newsletter is all about listening deeply to others, seeing them as they really are, and having a mindset of curiosity and suspending judgement. Can you practice for one day this skill of making someone else feel deeply seen, heard and valued? 

Get in Touch

How did you feel when you practiced listening to another person deeply with curiosity? Did anything surprising happen? I’d like to hear about it.

Bringing Together Israeli and Palestinian Families

Parents Circle – Families Forum

The escalation of the war between Israel and Hamas has brought one parents’ group for peace to the forefront. The Parents Circle – Families Forum (PCFF) is an organization I have been following for years — on of over 600 families on both sides who have lost someone to the ongoing conflict, I’ve admired and respected them for their commitment to a structured program of joint understanding and compassion between Israelis and Palestinians. They believe an end to violence and a sustainable peace can only happen through a process of reconciliation between nations.

In an address to the UN general assembly a few years ago, I shared the story of Robi Damelin, a PCFF member. In one letter, Robi demonstrated the impact that a single individual or group of individuals can have on an international conflict. 

Robi was born in South Africa but left her homeland because of Apartheid. She moved to Israel, only to encounter more issues of injustice. Her son David went into the Israeli army and was shot by a Palestinian. Robi wrote this letter to the mother of the Palestinian soldier who killed her son.

“For me, this is one of the most difficult letters I will ever have to write. I am the mother of an Israeli soldier who was killed by your son. If he had known David he could never have done such a thing. David was 28 years old and a student at Tel-Aviv University doing his masters in the Philosophy of Education. He had compassion for all people and understood the suffering of the Palestinians, who he treated with dignity. David was part of the peace movement and did not want to serve in the occupied territories.  Nevertheless, he went to serve when he was called to the reserves.

“Our children do what they do, and do not understand the pain they are causing. Your son is now in jail for many years and I will never be able to hold my son again, or see him married, or have a grandchild from him. I cannot describe to you the pain I feel since his death or the pain of his brother and girl-friend. And all of those who knew and loved him.

“I have worked my whole life for causes of co-existence, both in South Africa and here in Israel. After David was killed I looked for a way to prevent other families, both Israeli and Palestinian, from suffering the dreadful loss my family has endured. I was looking for a way to stop the cycle of violence. Nothing, for me, is more sacred than human life. No revenge or hatred can ever bring my child back. 

“A year after David's death, I joined the Parents Circle – Families Forum. We are a group of over 600 Israeli and Palestinian families who have come together because we have lost an immediate family member in the conflict. We have shown that reconciliation between individuals and nations is possible and it is this insight that we are trying to pass on to both sides of the conflict. 

“After your son was captured, I spent many sleepless nights thinking about what to do. Should I ignore the whole thing, or will I be true to myself and the work that I am doing and try to find a way for closure and reconciliation. This is not easy for anyone and I am just an ordinary person. I came to the conclusion that I would like to reconcile. Maybe this is difficult for you to understand or believe, but I know, in my heart of hearts, this is the only path that I can chose. 

READ MORE

From My Desk

ARTICLE Clinging Onto Hope: Navigating Polarising Narratives Within The Israel-Palestinian Conflict

“I beg you not to take sides, because your opinions are importing our conflict into your country and creating hate between Jews and Muslims. It doesn’t help us,” said Robi Damelin at a Together for Humanity vigil. Robi is profiled in the feature article of this newsletter as the mother of David, who enlisted in the Israeli army and was killed in the line of duty. Robi later wrote a letter of forgiveness to the mother of the Palestinian soldier who killed her son.

ARTICLE They Worked Together as Peace Activists. Oct. 7 Changed Everything.

Tamar Shamir is from northern Israel and Mohamed Abu Jafar is from the West Bank. Together they run Young Ambassadors for Peace, fostering communication between teens on both sides of the conflict. On Oct. 8, in the wake of Hamas’ attack on Israel, the two friends reached out to each other and did their best to navigate the shocking new realities of war, probing the boundaries of understanding each others’ positions, while still processing their own raw and challenging emotions.

PODCAST How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

When we first meet someone, we accurately understand each other only 20% of the time, according to David Brooks’ new book, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Other Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. In this interview with Mónica Guzmán of Braver Angels, they discuss the “fundamental human capacity” of listening and how to consciously build that skill and come from a place of curiosity. They talk about going from being someone who diminishes others with stereotypes and assumptions to being an “illuminator.” An illuminator asks questions, shows respect and makes people feel seen, heard and “lit up.”

ARTICLE Unity Over Division: Elevating Human Consciousness in 2024

In a year when it seems conflict is metastasizing and threatening the survival of even the natural environment and our psychological well-being, this article says these human-created crises can be solved through human action of a different kind. “We must work to humanize our cultures by recognizing our shared humanity and by elevating consciousness.” What is consciousness, but the “ongoing awareness of one’s existence and humanity.” The author lists at least six actions we can take to humanize our own lives and circles — ripples that fan out to touch the world.

Deeper Moment

Taking Sides

By Irwin Keller, Oct. 17, 2023

Today I am taking sides.

I am taking the side of Peace.

Peace, which I will not abandon even when its voice is drowned out by hurt and hatred, bitterness of loss, cries of right and wrong.

I am taking the side of Peace whose name has barely been spoken in this winnerless war.

I will hold Peace in my arms, and share my body’s breath, lest Peace be added to the body count.

I will call for de-escalation even when I want nothing more  than to get even. I will do it in the service of Peace.

I will make a clearing in the overgrown  thicket of cause and effect so Peace can breathe  for a minute and reach for the sky.

I will do what I must to save the life of Peace. I will breathe through tears. I will swallow pride. I will bite my tongue. I will offer love without testing for deservingness.

So don’t ask me to wave a flag today unless it is the flag of Peace. Don’t ask me to sing an anthem unless it is a song of Peace. Don’t ask me to take sides unless it is the side of Peace.

Read more at: irwinkeller.com/itzikswell/taking-sides