Building Boundaries to Thrive in High-Stakes Careers

There was a time when I was the queen of not having boundaries. Building boundaries felt impossible in a world where saying yes was expected. I said yes to everything: extra projects I didn’t have time for, work that stretched me to the brink, and social events that drained me. Deep down, I struggled to enforce boundaries because I worried about disappointing others or being seen as difficult. Even when I tried to set limits, they weren’t honored - in fact, they were often outright ignored, which left me feeling powerless and frustrated.

I’ll never forget the day I lost it at work. I was in a meeting with my manager and peers, sharing updates on my workload and the assistance I desperately needed. Instead of acknowledgment, I was met with dismissal. Every assignment that came out of my manager’s mouth was assigned to me. My stomach knotted, my chest tightened, and a lump formed in my throat as I fought back tears. I felt belittled, invisible, and completely unsupported, like I was screaming into a void where no one cared to listen.

That night, when I finally made it home, I was informed that I had to attend an event. Exhausted, I politely declined. The response? A verbal attack, accusing me of being ungrateful. That was the moment I realized I couldn’t continue living this way. Something had to change.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re drowning in demands, unable to say no, or struggling to enforce the boundaries you do set, you’re not alone. High-stakes careers often demand everything -and then some. But the truth is, building boundaries isn’t just about saying no; it’s about saying yes to yourself, your mental health, and your long-term success. Building boundaries is the key to thriving, not just surviving, in high-stakes careers.

Check out my blog article to read more about the power of saying No: The Power of Saying No: Unlocking Resilience I Never Knew I Had

What Are Boundaries, and Why Does Building Boundaries Matter?

Boundaries are the invisible guardrails we build to keep our lives on track, protecting our time, energy, and well-being. Building boundaries allows us to create space for growth and clarity. In high-stakes careers, they’re like the floodgates of a dam - allowing the flow of demands to pass only at a pace you can manage. Without them, everything overflows, leading to burnout. They’re not about being selfish or lazy; they’re about creating space for what matters most, so you can thrive instead of merely survive.

Without boundaries, we overextend ourselves, often to the point of exhaustion. Building boundaries protects us from burnout and empowers us to succeed. We risk our mental and physical health, strain our relationships, and diminish our professional performance. But when we set and uphold clear boundaries, we reclaim our power, prevent burnout, and foster an environment where we can truly excel.

The Seven Types of Boundaries

1. Time Boundaries: Protect your time by setting limits on work hours, meetings, and personal availability.
2. Emotional Boundaries: Safeguard your emotional well-being by limiting exposure to toxic behaviors or emotional dumping.
3. Physical Boundaries: Respect your personal space and physical limits, especially in demanding work environments.
4. Mental Boundaries: Maintain clarity and focus by managing information overload and setting intellectual limits.
5. Relational Boundaries: Define expectations in professional and personal relationships to avoid overcommitment.
6. Professional Boundaries: Clarify roles and responsibilities to prevent being overburdened.
7. Digital Boundaries: Manage technology use to avoid constant connectivity and burnout.

The Cost of No Boundaries

When we fail to set boundaries, we pay the price. Chronic stress, resentment, and a constant sense of overwhelm become the norm. Our performance suffers, creativity diminishes, and relationships - both professional and personal - take a hit.

In my own life, the lack of boundaries led to that breaking point I described earlier. I was exhausted, resentful, and angry - not just at others, but at myself for allowing it to happen. But here’s the good news: boundaries are a skill. And like any skill, they can be learned and mastered.

Is being a “good girl” contributing to your issues of not being able to set or hold boundaries? Read my LinkedIn Article: Are You Being the Good Girl?

How to Build Boundaries and Thrive

1. Identify Where Boundaries Are Needed

• Take an honest inventory of your life. Where do you feel stretched too thin? What tasks, interactions, or commitments leave you drained?

2. Define Clear, Actionable Limits

• Be specific about what you will and won’t tolerate. For example, “I will not check emails after 7 PM” is clearer than “I need more downtime.”

3. Communicate Boundaries Politely but Firmly

• Use clear, respectful language to express your limits. Example: “I’d love to help with this project, but I’m at capacity right now. Let’s discuss other options.”

4. Set Boundaries with Yourself

• Self-discipline is crucial. Commit to honoring your own limits, whether it’s turning off your laptop at a set time or taking a lunch break every day.

5. Anticipate Pushback

• Not everyone will respect your boundaries. Prepare for resistance and stay firm. Remember, their discomfort is not your responsibility.

6. Build a Support System

• Surround yourself with people who respect and support your boundaries. This might mean seeking out mentors, colleagues, or friends who model healthy limits.

7. Revisit and Revise as Needed

• Boundaries aren’t static. As your career and life evolve, so will your needs. I learned this firsthand when I started enforcing boundaries that worked for me, like blocking off evenings for myself and clearly communicating what I could handle at work. Over time, those boundaries helped me reclaim my energy, deepen my focus, and even gain more respect from others. Regularly assessing and adjusting your boundaries ensures they align with your evolving goals and priorities.

Empowerment Through Building Boundaries

Building boundaries doesn’t make you difficult; it makes you empowered. Building boundaries transforms the way you show up for yourself and others. It’s about valuing your time, energy, and contributions enough to protect them. I saw this firsthand when I finally started setting boundaries at work and home. For example, I began turning down unnecessary projects and politely declining events I didn’t want to attend. Over time, I noticed a shift - not only in how others treated me but also in how I viewed myself. Setting boundaries showed me that I deserved respect, and it empowered me to take control of my life with confidence.

For high-achieving women in high-stakes careers, boundaries are a form of leadership. They demonstrate self-awareness, prioritize sustainability, and create a ripple effect of balance and respect in the workplace.

Your Next Step

Brave One, are you ready to take control of your time, energy, and well-being? Building boundaries is your gateway to thriving in your career and reclaiming your life.

P.S. If you’re seeking deeper guidance, I invite you to join my Phoenix Rising group program starting January 14th, 2025, or check out my 1:1 coaching page and apply to work with me. Discover how this transformative experience can help you build boundaries, reclaim your energy, and thrive like never before. Let’s build the boundaries that will empower you to thrive - on your terms.