"Building Trust should be the Prime Mission of a Leader!!!"

Trust typically refer to a situation characterized by the following aspects: One party is willing to rely on the actions of another party; the situation is directed to the future. A person trusts another when they feel that they can be vulnerable and everything will be alright. You can build trust in your relationships if you are prepared to make the effort. Building trust requires making a commitment to trustworthy behavior.

What is Trust?

Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature.

We feel trust. Emotions associated with trust include companionship, friendship, love, agreement, relaxation, comfort.

There are a number of different ways we can define trust. Here are the dimensions of trust and consequent definitions.

What is a building trust?

A person trusts another when they feel that they can be vulnerable and everything will be alright. You can build trust in your relationships if you are prepared to make the effort. Building trust requires making a commitment to trustworthy behavior

Predictability

It is a normal part of the human condition to be constantly forecasting ahead. We build internal models of the world based both on our experiences and what others tell us, and then use these to guess what will happen next. This allows us to spot and prepare for threats and also make plans to achieve our longer-term goals.

The greatest unpredictability is at 50%; a reliable enemy can be preferable to an unpredictable friend, as at least we know where we are with them.

Definition 1: Trust means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur. If we can surround ourselves with people we trust, then we can create a safe present and an even better future.

Value exchange

Most of what we do with other people is based around exchange, which is the basis for all businesses as well as simple relationships. At its simplest, it is exchange of goods. I will swap you two sheep for one cow. It is easy to calculate the value in such material bargaining. Things get more complex when less tangible forces come into play. A parent exchanges attention for love. A company exchanges not only pay but good working conditions for the intellectual and manual efforts of its workforce.

Value exchange works because we each value things differently. If I have a whole flock of sheep but no milk, then I can do business with a person who has a herd of cows but no clothes. This principle of reciprocity is what binds societies together.

Trust in value exchange occurs when we do not know fully whether what we are receiving is what we expect. When we buy a car, don’t want to be sold a ringer which the seller knows is faulty. When I get advice in business, I want it to be based on facts, not wild opinions.

Definition 2: Trust means making an exchange with someone when you do not have full knowledge about them, their intent and the things they are offering to you.

Delayed reciprocity

Exchange is not just about an immediate swapping of cows and sheep or hugs and kisses. What makes companies and societies really work is that something is given now, but the return is paid back some time in the future. The advantage of this is that we can create a more flexible environment, where you can get what you need when you need it, rather than having to save up for it.

Trust now becomes particularly important, because otherwise we are giving something for nothing. The delay we have placed in the reciprocal arrangement adds a high level of uncertainty which we need to mitigate through trust.

What is often called the ‘golden rule’ is a simple formula for creating trust. ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ It sets up the dynamic for my giving you something now with the hope of getting back some unspecified thing in the indeterminate future.

Definition 3: Trust means giving something now with an expectation that it will be repaid, possibly in some unspecified way at some unspecified time in the future.

Exposed vulnerabilities

When we trust other people, we may not only be giving them something in hope of getting something else back in the future, we may also be exposing ourselves in a way that they can take advantage of our vulnerabilities. If I buy a car from you and I do not know a good price, you can lie to me so you get a better bargain. If I tell you in confidence about the problems I am having with work, you could use this to further your own career at my expense.

Although the threat of retribution or projected feelings of guilt can counteract your temptation to abuse my exposed vulnerabilities, if you succumb I still get hurt and may still end up with the shorter stick. For our transaction to complete successfully, I must be able to trust that such agonies will not come to pass.

Definition 4: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this.

Building Trust Inside Your Team- Ways to Improve Team Cohesion

A strong, cohesive team can achieve anything.

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough. – Frank Crane, American minister and author

Have you ever managed people who didn't trust one another? If you have, then you'll know how challenging and draining this can be.

A team without trust isn't really a team: it's just a group of individuals, working together, often making disappointing progress. They may not share information, they might battle over rights and responsibilities, and they may not cooperate with one another. It doesn't matter how capable or talented your people are, they may never reach their full potential if trust isn't present.

However, when trust is in place, each individual in the team becomes stronger, because he or she is part of an effective, cohesive group. When people trust one another, the group can achieve truly meaningful goals.

So how can you, as a leader, help your team to build the trust that it needs to flourish? In this article we'll look at the issue of trust within teams, why it's important, and what you can do to build it.

The Importance of Trust

One definition describes trust as a "reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something."

Think about that definition for a moment. Trust means that you rely on someone else to do the right thing. You believe in the person's integrity and strength, to the extent that you're able to put yourself on the line, at some risk to yourself.

Trust is essential to an effective team, because it provides a sense of safety. When your team members feel safe with each other, they feel comfortable to open up, take appropriate risks, and expose vulnerabilities.

Without trust there's less innovation, collaboration, creative thinking, and productivity, and people spend their time protecting themselves and their interests – this is time that should be spent helping the group attain its goals.

Trust is also essential for knowledge sharing. A study published in the Journal of Knowledge Management found that trust was a key element in a team's knowledge acquisition. Put simply, if your team members trust one another, they're far more likely to share knowledge, and to communicate openly.

How To Build Trust With Your Employees

As a leader, what can you do to create a culture of trust within your team?

1. Lead by Example

If you want to build trust within your team, then lead by example

, and show your people that you trust others. This means trusting your team, your colleagues, and your boss. Never forget that your team members are always watching and taking cues from you – take the opportunity to show them what trust in others really looks like.

If you manage a virtual team, aim to treat your team members just as you would if you were working face to face. This means making every effort to be on time for conference calls or video chats, and letting your remote team members know when you'll be absent, or on vacation. 

It's important to follow through on the promises you make, and to set an example for everyone else. Keeping your promises is incredibly important in a virtual team, because your word is often all you can give. Positive follow-through builds trust quickly, and can raise the entire group's tone and expectations.

2. Communicate Openly

Open communication is essential for building trust. You need to get everyone on your team talking to one another in an honest, meaningful way, and you can use several strategies to accomplish this.

First, create a team charter to define the purpose of the team, as well as each person's role. Present this charter at the first team meeting, and encourage each team member to ask questions, and discuss his or her expectations.

Next, consider organizing team building exercises. When chosen carefully and planned well, these exercises can help "break the ice" and encourage people to open up and start communicating.

How do you gain trust?

Trust as a verb means “to believe.” If you believe in something or someone, then you have confidence in them. To gain trust, we must be believable so that another will have confidence in our ability to keep our word, do our part, and follow through on expectations set. ... Trust is active through believing.

How to Gain Trust – Simply Four Ways

Trust as a verb means “to believe.” If you believe in something or someone, then you have confidence in them.

To gain trust, we must be believable so that another will have confidence in our ability to keep our word, do our part, and follow through on expectations set. It is what authenticity is all about – consistency of character through all actions and words.

At times, it seems we toss words about, and they lose their meaning or luster. Trust and authenticity may be at the top of this list. In social media, we talk about the importance of authenticity. In business and government, we talk about the principles of trust. We seem to try to make these simple ideas complex.

Trust is active through believing. Trust is maintained when our confidence in someone is consistently realized.

So, how do we gain trust?

The answer is straightforward. We gain trust when we:

Keep our word.

Our words need to mean something. What gives them meaning is how we back them up. It is about keeping promises, yet it is more. It is about doing what we say. It is about living the way we talk.

Keeping our word builds substance to our character.

Deliver as expected.

Each day, we have responsibilities. When we deliver on them in a timely and complete manner, confidence is gained. Yes, it is about living up to our responsibilities, but it is also about a being solid citizen in our workplace, neighborhood, and community.

Delivering as expected adds depth to our integrity.

Follow through on actions requested.

People depend on us. Work is a process, and each step involves another person. When someone falls down on their actions, the process is weakened, and results fail to materialize. Following through on what is requested or required strengthens a process and keeps activities flowing forward. Process or not, an action followed through on enhances confidence in our abilities and capabilities.

Following through enables the speed of trust.

Trust our self.

This one is foundational. To be trusted, we need to have the confidence of self. It is not about being cocky or going off half-cocked. It is about being fully purposeful in our words and actions, laughing at ourselves when needed and learning on how get better at all times. We need to faith in ourselves, in what we are doing and how we are doing it.

Trusting ourselves empowers our soul.

Stephen M.R. Covey states it best:

“Trust is equal parts character and competence… You can look at any leadership failure, and it’s always a failure of one or the other.” – Stephen M.R. Covey, The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything

No matter which generation we come from, trust needs to be engaged. We need to simplify our concepts but not our principles. Each generation has had trust challenges, and we seem to have more than our fair share right now. Through bailouts and fiscal cliffs, we may be less confident and less trusting.

The Milliennial Generation, however, holds great hope for a renewal of trust. With their social media savviness and social good actions, we have a lot to believe in. As they enter the workplace in greater numbers, the simplicity of trust will enable the authenticity of character.

As Lance Armstrong sits in Oprah’s redemption chair this week, it will be interesting to see what unfolds in his story of honesty. Lance is a past generation, and he distorted trust. As we look forward to the next generation, our hope grows in how they will restore integrity to new levels of action.

So what?

So learn about trust, how it works and how to build it. If you do it well, other people will give you the earth. If you betray them, they will hunt you to the ends of the earth

How can you trust a person?

You can make an informed decision and go for it. When you decide to trust someone it means that you believe in that person's integrity. Trusting is knowing that ultimately this person's intentions are good. And it also means that you know that they are going to make mistake.

How do I learn to trust myself again?

Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Before you can start to trust yourself again, you have to go over all your past failures, and the bad feelings you have of them. Just take 10-20 minutes today to do that. Yes, you failed.

How to Trust Yourself to Change Habits

When we fail at habits repeatedly, we lose trust in ourselves, don’t believe in our ability to stick to something, feel guilty and sometimes disgusted with ourselves.

This is a bad state of affairs for our future habits.

When we start a new habit, if we don’t really believe in our ability to stick to it, we’re less likely to succeed. We’ll doubt ourselves when things get a little harder. When we feel like quitting, part of our minds will say, “Ah, I knew this would happen. This just confirms what I thought about you, you loser.” And then we quit, instead of sticking it out and beating the quitting feeling.

Well, that’s not good. What’s better, though?

If you trust yourself to stick to a habit, you feel confident in your ability to get through tough times. You know that even if you get the feeling of quitting, you can beat it. Or if you fail, you know you can start again, get back up and learn from the mistake and try harder.

Let’s look at how to get from the first to the second.

Why We Lose Trust

The reasons we lose trust are rooted in the self-judgment and negative beliefs about ourselves that we talked about earlier. When we happen to fail at sticking to something — which I will tell you without a doubt is inevitable, even for the most “disciplined” of people — we then use that as a way to judge ourselves.

We say, “What the hell, self? Why didn’t you stick to that? What’s wrong with you? Gosh, I really wish you could do better. You suck at sticking to things.”

For some of us, that’s the voice of our parents! Or one of our parents. Or perhaps a sibling, or a classmate at school, or another relative, or just a collective voice that we’ve put together from people criticizing us over the years.

That voice is critical (not in a good way), and it causes us to judge ourselves and not like ourselves and not trust ourselves. However: the voice is wrong. It’s just a voice talking in our heads. We don’t have to believe it, even if it talks.

So, we fail at one habit, and then criticize ourselves. We internalize that, not as “this is just something that happened that I need to fix” but as “this is an indicator that I am unreliable, not good enough”. This becomes a big data point that shows us our self-worth.

And it happens again. And yet again. Each time it happens, we feel worse about ourselves, feel less worthy, and so we make it more likely that we’ll fail the next time. This pattern can go on for years.

How to Regain Trust

There are some skills we need to learn, and they’re related to some of the skills we learned in earlier articles:

1. Realize that failure isn’t a reason to judge yourself. This is really important, and if you learn nothing else, this is the takeaway. Instead of internalizing failure as an indicator that we are not trustworthy or not sufficient, we need to learn that failure is just an external event. Sure, we were involved with that event, but it’s like throwing a ball towards a hoop — if we miss, does that mean we are horrible people? No, it just means we need to adjust the way we throw the ball. Perhaps move closer. Maybe throw underhand if that’s more successful. Get a ladder. Make the hoop bigger. Find someone to help. There are no rules in this game — we can figure out ways to make ourselves succeed. Failure is simply an indicator that something in our method needs to be changed.
2. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Before you can start to trust yourself again, you have to go over all your past failures, and the bad feelings you have of them. Just take 10-20 minutes today to do that. Yes, you failed. Yes, that’s OK. We all fail. That’s no reason to feel bad about yourself. Let it go! Tell yourself that you are good, that mistakes we’re your fault but the fault of the method.
3. Start to make and keep promises with yourself. This part takes longer, because trust isn’t regained overnight. Make small promises to yourself. Seriously, as small as you can. For example, if your habit is yoga, tell yourself all you need to do is get on the mat. You don’t even need to do 5 minutes. Then do everything you can to keep that promise. Same thing for non-habit stuff — just start writing, just get one veggie in your meal, just close your computer for a minute when a timer goes off (if you want to focus on other things besides the Internet, for example). Small promises, but big efforts to keep them. Over time, you’ll start to learn that you are trustworthy.
4. Learn to get through the tough times. There will always be times when you don’t feel like doing the habit, when you feel like giving up, when you miss a day or two for various reasons and don’t feel like starting. First, recognize that these are dips in your motivation and that it will take a little extra effort to get through them. Second, recognize the negative thoughts you might be having about your ability to ge through them, or the rationalizations that you have to not do it, and don’t listen. Third, tell yourself that all you need to do is find some extra motivation — ask a friend for help, go on the forum to ask for some accountability and encouragement, give yourself a big reward, announce a challenge just to get through this sticking point.

Four steps, none super easy but none too hard that you can’t nail them. You got this. You can trust yourself to form new habits and stick to them, and when you have that trust, nothing can stop you.

How to Build Trust

Trust may be the most important factor in successful relationships. A person trusts another when they feel that they can be vulnerable and everything will be alright. You can build trust in your relationships if you are prepared to make the effort. Building trust requires making a commitment to trustworthy behavior..

Being Reliable

• Do what you say. One of the most important steps in building a foundation of trust is to do what you say you will do.[3] Even if it is a small thing, canceling or failing to follow through will create hairline fractures in your trustworthiness.
• Although the occasional failure to follow through may not seem like a big deal; repeated failures can add up. Over time, people in your life may come to see you as less trustworthy.
• Honor your promises. Trust requires that people believe you will be dependable in the long-term. Thus, when you make someone a promise, you must keep it.
• If you truly cannot keep a promise you've made, explain face-to-face why you cannot do as you said you would.
• Especially if your promise was a major one, an explanation might not be enough. You may need to make a new promise to make it up to that person. Be sure to keep this new promise, no matter what!
• Do not belittle the original promise. However small and insignificant a promise may seem, realize that the other person may place great significance on it. Any lack of follow through could be hugely disappointing.
• Be consistent. An important part of the definition of reliability is following through with your word many times over an extended period. By definition, someone reliable is someone you can almost always count on.
• Keep in mind that doing what you say only once or twice won’t build the solid foundation of trust in your relationships that you want.

Being Honest

• Tell the truth as much as you can. While there are some situations where telling the whole truth as you see it might not be the most ethical choice, in most cases, honesty really is the best policy.
• Perhaps the most important time to tell the truth is when you would benefit from a lie If you can be truthful at your own expense, you show that your relationship with another person is important. You also show them that their well-being is more important than your own.
• For example, imagine your friend loans you a book and you spill coffee on it. You could say that you lost the book. Or, you could try to find another copy and pretend nothing happened. But it is important to tell your friend what really happened. A damaged book may not be a big deal, but the risk of the truth emerging (or the risk of your friend perceiving the lie) will fracture trust.
• If you do lie, admit to it. Sometimes it feels unavoidable to lie. Sometimes it happens without even thinking. If you do lie to someone, it is best to confess to your lie as soon as possible. Then, explain your motives and be sincere about your remorse If you get caught, don't deny it. That is simply another lie, and it will further erode trust.
• Speak from the heart. When you feel like lying to someone, either to spare their feelings or to spare yourself from their unfavorable response, find an anchor point to focus on. Choose something good about that person and emphasize this in your communication.
• Speak to that anchor of goodness, rather than overplaying the bad news you need to convey.
• Be sure to offer your willingness to listen. It can be helpful to offer phrases like “It seems to me,” or “I believe that,” emphasizing that this is your perception of the truth. This shows you're open to other points of view, and can help preserve trusting relationships.
• Here's an example: If you need to tell a friend that she has made a mistake, explain what went wrong in neutral and non-judgmental language. Focus on her strengths, her value to you as a friend and, if possible, how she can redeem the situation. Then ask for her side of the story and listen intently. But, don't tell her everything is fine if actually is not.
• The conversation might go like this: "Beryl, I believe you made a significant mistake on our report. I can see that you’ve been under a lot of stress with this new project. I know the mistake doesn’t reflect your talent or abilities. But, I think we should tell the client immediately and offer them a new report."
• Express your feelings. People who only convey hard facts come across as cold and distant. This does not encourage trust.
• You may think it's easier to just regurgitate the facts as they happened, according to you. But, without a layer of compassion and understanding, people may think you are relishing another person's distress.

Being Open

• Volunteer information. When an opportunity to be vague arises, consider whether it would be more accurate to provide more information. It's often a good idea to volunteer information to show that you aren't withholding information. Here's an example:
• In a new one-on-one relationship, one partner might ask the other: "How was your day?" The response might be: "It was alright." This does not build trust, because you haven't shared any real information.
• Now imagine another response to the question: “Well, I had a doctor’s appointment today. I thought it would be routine, but the doctor suspects that I might have a heart murmur. She said that she didn’t have any conclusive information, but she wants me to come in for more tests next week. I don’t know if I should be worried about this." This response suggests openness, and builds trust.
• In this case, your new partner would be upset to not know about the doctor’s news, even though you aren’t certain of the results yet. Omission would hurt the closeness of the relationship. This is because you might be worrying about the test all week, but your partner wouldn’t know why you were anxious. He or she would also probably want to know in case there was anything they could do to help you.
• Don't omit important details. The main reason it is best not to omit important details is because it is hard to stay consistent in what you share. People will start to notice contradictions in your stories, and you will lose credibility, even if you are only omitting a little.
• If you really want to build trust, tell people things they need or want to know.
• If you do have things that you are not yet willing to share, say so. You shouldn't have to give up your most personal feelings and secrets just to build trust. Remember, everyone feels they have a right to control their personal information.. The key to being trustworthy while also maintaining your privacy is to make your boundaries clear.
• For example, you might tell someone: "I am not ready to share my feelings about that right now. But, I promise you have nothing to worry about." This gives your listener a chance to prove that he or she is understanding and patient. Most importantly, it also gives your listener a sense of security. It is a better choice than being vague or dishonest to avoid talking about something private.

Showing Your Integrity

• Keep secrets told to you. Never tell someone's story if that person would not want it told. This is a betrayal of trust. The tendency is to let things slip when you are under pressure, tired, or not thinking clearly. If this happens, own up to it quickly, and apologize. This way, the person won't find out from someone else that you have shared their private information. It also gives you a chance to help minimize any damage you may have caused.
• Display loyalty. Loyalty refers to your willingness to protect others and be on their side. This applies both in their presence and, most importantly, in their absence.
• Trust becomes solid when a person knows he or she has your loyalty. You can also build trust by putting the interest of another person or your relationship with that person ahead of your own..
• For example, you can build trust with your co-worker by staying after work to help with a project, even if you will not get credit for the work.
• Keep your feelings under control. You can gain the respect and admiration of others by managing your emotions. It is hard to trust someone who's emotions are unpredictable or volatile.
• A study of Fortune 500 executives found that those who regulated and appropriately expressed emotions were more likely to gain trust than those who did not..
• For example, try not to blow up at people when they make small mistakes. This will diminish their trust in you.
• If you feel overwhelmed by emotion, be aware of signals you are sending. Try to diminish those signals. Unclench your fists, relax your jaw, and release tension in your muscles.
• Focusing on your breathing can help you manage your emotions. Try to focus your attention on the feeling of your breath. You don’t need to think about the breath or try to change it, just experience the sensation. If you notice yourself getting distracted, gently redirect your thoughts back to your breathing..
• If you learn to manage your emotions, the people in your life will feel that they can predict how you will act. They will view you as emotionally reliable, further deepening trust.
• Avoid abusive behavior. Some behaviors will seriously erode trust and should be avoided. The following actions will undermine trust: Humiliating or degrading your partner
• Isolating yourself from others
• Threatening others or physically hurting others
• Completely avoid abusive behaviors. If you make the mistake of mistreating others in one of these ways, immediately apologize. Promise to do better, and honor that promise over time.
• Use assertive communication. Instead of engaging in abusive or aggressive behavior, try to adopt an assertive communication style. This means directly and respectfully expressing your needs while also addressing the needs and opinions of others. Assertive communication involves saying "no" when you don’t want to do something, and also involves managing your emotions..
• It means sharing your feelings and opinions openly and in a way that does not belittle or bully.
• For example, imagine your neighbor is playing music too loudly. An aggressive approach would be to go over to his house and yell: "Turn that racket down or I'm calling the cops, jerk!" An assertive approach would be to knock on his door and calmly say: "Hey, it's getting late, and I need to go to bed soon. Would you please turn your music down a bit?" This lets your neighbor know he's causing a problem without being insulting or threatening.
• Commit to altering your behavior when appropriate. If you deceive someone or otherwise break trust, make a promise to change your behavior in the future and commit to doing so. Remember, you must honor this promise consistently over time to regain trust.
• A promise alone will only restore trust in the short-term..
• An apology itself does not have any effect on long-term trust.

Can you rebuild trust?

That said, trust can be broken in far more subtle, but nonetheless damaging, ways. ... These situations may not destroy trust, but they can certainly threaten it. Depending on the situation, trust can be rebuilt. But the process of building (and rebuilding) trust doesn't just happen.