Career Transition

It hit me in my late 30s.

I had questions on my mind such as: What am I doing? Is it worth it? Am I making any difference? Is this the impact I want to have? I would try to convince myself that I was doing whatever I was doing to provide my family with a good home, education, health, love and warmth. It is a lot but there was a “but”…and I couldn’t quite grasp it. There was something that didn’t make sense! 

What am I doing? What for?

Working in the corporate world kept me so busy that I became disconnected with what was meaningful. Then, I decided to enrol at INSEAD and discovered that I was not alone. There were a bunch of us going through a “mid life crisis”. I was not looking for group therapy, but whatever that was, it worked. 

I realised that I was mostly disappointed with the lack of a moral compass around me. I would often encounter people lacking humanity and basic character. I wasn’t looking to change the world, but I couldn’t stay put. I always was and still am a believer in Humankind! I believe that we are all born with the potential to be kind and caring. So, what? 

What to do, when what you’re doing is not the thing?

Whilst working on my final thesis at INSEAD I was drawn to education, teachers and children. It started making sense! This environment needed change urgently. Needed help, love and kindness. Was it receptive to it? Not entirely, but I thought I could handle it. 

I started exploring little by little! I wasn’t 100% sure that my path was in that direction but I was willing to give it a try. I took some transition steps. As Herminia Ibarra (2004) points out, experimentation allows us to try out our different selves - some might feel more comfortable than others, but the first step is to find the courage to try out new things. I was in my 40s by this time, and I took some "out of the box" trainings, I attended some webinars with people I wouldn’t normally connect with…I also joined two beautiful human beings in 2019, right after finishing my Executive Master. We formed Semear Valores, a cooperative that envisioned a world where all children flourish. It really made sense to me! I was basically questioning my professional identity (despite 20 years in HR) but also my own self-concept.

I quit!

In the middle of this self-discovery I changed jobs. It felt exciting at the time, but I was just fooling myself and procrastinating the inevitable identity reinvention. The new job was an effort and it painfully made me realize that I didn’t really want it. I wasn’t aligned with the ways of working and there was a thin line between hard business and work ethics. It started affecting my well being. Anxiety, sleepless nights, exhaustion. So, it was pain that led me to the decision to leave my job and the financial security and social status that come with it. It wasn’t courage, it wasn’t madness. It was pure, simple, raw pain, anguish and the unbearable misery of not being able to just be myself. Not being able to stay true to my essence as a person led me to deep change.

Making the decision to leave took some serious conversation at home. Some years back we had made a family decision: I work full time, take on bigger roles, build a career and earn money. My better half works mostly as a freelance and keeps it flexible to help with the kids, house and family business. My husband truly supported me, but it wasn’t easy to loose a steady income. 

The minute I handed in my resignation I was relieved! Nonetheless, I didn’t have another job waiting for me nor a plan b! I had some savings that would allow me to hold on for a while but not for too long. 

Then what?

One word kept popping in my head: possibilities. 

I felt I had possibilities. I could make well informed, conscious choices. I had 20+ years of work experience, a degree, two masters, a supportive network, I was in good health and had some savings! 

Next word popping in my head was: strategy! I had to figure out how I was going to approach my new situation! In the beginning I would still apply for jobs. Either because I was being pressured by others’ implicit expectations or because I thought that that was the next natural step. The truth of the matter was that every time I read the requirements of a job ad I would feel sick.

Confidence was key! So, one thing that I realised was that I had to be the one defining my status. I could not be perceived as out of a job but rather as defining and owning my own choice, because that was exactly what I was doing.

Almost 6 long months went by, with ups and downs, I would feel extremely positive on some days and really low on others. It took time until confidence creeped in.

Support system

I had coaching sessions once a month to get support. Any kind of support in times of self uncertainty is extremely important and reassuring. 

I focused on my personal project - Semear Valores, which became my main activity for the months to come. I felt that our cooperative was a laboratory where I could experiment. We help educational agents through coaching, we create and develop educational resources for children to develop their character strengths. We work with teachers, psychologists and educators to equip them with tools that facilitate children’s learning, improve social relations and self awareness. We develop projects in schools that truly shape characters and allow children to become aware of their full potential. I was finally having meaningful working days! 

Financial needs

However, Semear Valores didn’t pay any salary and it wasn’t going to any time soon - we are a non profit organisation. I quickly realised that being a social entrepreneur is tough! Everybody sees the value of the service but nobody invests in it because the “only” value is social and emotional, and even that is in the long run!

Despite not getting any salary, Semear Valores was going really well. We had great feedback from our followers, we were self sustainable and were able to improve our products, our website and our services using incoming revenue. We were being recognised and needed. So I felt externally incentivised to keep working on it. 

I was concerned, though! With no income coming in I had to find something more.

My coach helped me see that it wasn’t wise to just throw away my 20+ years experience in HR and all the skills I had developed. So, I decided to approach the market as an independent HR consultant. There were many days with no news from potential partners and customers (there still are), emails that just didn’t come back with a final decision. It seemed like I was stuck! 

I had to learn how to handle uncertainty of not knowing if there was going to be some money in the next few months.

Somehow I never regretted the decision of leaving my job. Another 6 months had gone by and I still thought that I was on the right path. So, I kept going.

Networking, networking, networking

Putting myself out there and nurturing my group of friends, colleagues and getting to know others was absolutely key! Tiring for an introvert like me, but absolutely crucial. 

I started by going through my list of connections. I could identify a fairly large group of people that most probably would value an email from me. So, I drafted a small text to tell them about the type of HR projects I do best and asked for help.  This allowed me to find out that the market was receptive to seasoned professionals, after all. Most of my connections replied, introducing me to other meaningful contacts and I started by helping with my expertise and by sharing my knowledge. Helping others for the simple pleasure of helping was gratifying and it opened more doors. 

I developed a method for meaningful networking. In each conversation I would be intentionally curious about my connection’s interests and drivers. Getting to know them meant I could later follow up, share some more meaningful information and keep nurturing a rewarding relationship. During this process the biggest challenge for me was exposing myself in social/professional media. It required a huge effort to make a post with my name on it. It might be odd to a lot of people, but being in the spotlight is not my thing. I rather connect through email, private message or make a phone or zoom call.

It paid off. Interesting projects and money started coming in slowly but surely. I felt again testing my self concept and moving towards a life style and persona that made sense. 

Believing! 

Making a transition to a fully independent role requires willingness to take risk. It requires to consciously put financial stability on the line, to lose the sense of belongingness to a brand, to take a chance on your network ignoring or rejecting you. But, as I heard in one tech conference, you get job and financial stability if you deliver quality work. This is true whether you’re an independent worker or not. And whatever fear holds you back from going solo, makes you weaker in a tribe you don’t belong to. 

I must say that people have been very kind and I am very grateful! Most of the time they respond and give back. I have met really good characters along the way and people who are really worth it! I strongly believe that individuals cross paths because they need to learn from and with each other. For me, this learning exchange means that one is not superior or subordinate to the other. Your achievements are not compared against somebody else’s standards but rather you challenge yourself against your own standards. Each customer, each connection, each conversation and each project allows me to build a better version of me!

References

Ibarra, H. (2004), Working identity. Unconventional strategies for reinventing your career, Harvard Business School Press, Cambridge, MA.