The Case for Selfish Leadership: Why Putting Yourself First Can Make You a Better Leader
Laurence Paquette
Vice President, Head of Marketing at Vestas | Mom | Queer | Neurodivergent | Pop culture & Mental Health Obsessed | Mentor | Feminist | Expat/Immigrant | Swiftie | 🌱👩👧👦 🏳️🌈 🧠 📼 👩🏫 🙋♀️ 💪🌎🎵 🇨🇦 🇩🇰
Leadership advice usually sounds something like this: Put your team first. Serve others before yourself. But here’s a controversial question: What if putting yourself first is the best thing you can do for your team?
Wait, hear me out.
When leaders prioritize their own well-being, personal growth, and boundaries, they set a powerful example. They lead with clarity, energy, and focus instead of burnout and resentment. It’s not selfish—it’s strategic.
Let’s dive into why “selfish” leadership might just be the bold, misunderstood approach the world needs right now.
Burnout Doesn’t Equal Bravery
Too often, leaders wear burnout as a badge of honor. They work late, skip meals, and sacrifice their mental health because they believe it makes them more dedicated. But here’s the truth: a burned-out leader can’t lead effectively.
When you’re running on fumes, your decision-making suffers. Your empathy wanes. Your vision narrows. By prioritizing yourself—taking breaks, setting boundaries, saying no—you’re not shirking responsibility. You’re ensuring that you show up as the leader your team needs.
How "Selfish" Leadership Benefits Everyone
Redefining "Selfish"
Selfish leadership isn’t about ignoring your team’s needs—it’s about meeting your own needs so you can serve them better. It’s leading by example, showing that well-being is foundational to success.
So the next time you feel guilty for taking a break or saying no, remember: putting yourself first might just be the most selfless thing you can do.
What do you think? Does this perspective challenge your ideas about leadership? Let’s talk in the comments.
Cybersecurity Strategist @ Vestas | Quantifying Cyber Risks
1wWell said, Laurence! Every time we fly on planes we are reminded of this simple truth: You have to put on your own oxygen mask so that you have the capacity to help someone who cannot. You can't take care of your team if you don't preserve your ability and capacity to take care of your team.
Fractional GC with Privacy expertise • Founder of “Me Time with” podcast: Empowering you to design a career that fits you like a glove • Looking for speakers that have reinvented themselves, or have fought burnout.
2wLaurence Paquette you’re right about prioritising your mental wellbeing. It has been proven that leaders under stress pass on the stress to their team! Yes stress is contagious and a leader with stress will influence EVERYONE below them. It has been proven even at a biological level. Apparently we secrete chemicals through our skin that can be detected by the ones around us and in this way, we communicate, without any words, that we are under stress. Just thought this was an important mention 🙃
Programme Director (Rainbow Six) at BLAST
2wThis resonates as something I continually remind myself and bring into conversations with my team. Just the other day in conversation I was explaining the importance of understanding how stakeholders and colleagues best receive information - in what format and when - but I was careful to explain to the team (and remind myself) that it doesn't mean going outside of your own needs an boundaries but rather to find the over lap. I fully agree, and have seen first hand, how wearing yourself out doesn't get you five steps forward but as you say, it allows your decision making and empathy to suffer - important tools for anyone. 'Burnout Doesn't Equal Bravery' is going on my daily reminders - thanks for that!
Manager, Sub Module Owner - Plant Design & Risk Modelling | Master’s Degree Geophysics & Meteorology
2wI think it makes perfect sense.. And I think it’s a good thing to practice for people like me where it doesn’t come naturally, and hopefully I can one day lead by example 🤞🏼