Cause and Effect: Taking Responsibility for Your Life

“Am I the Cause of what happens to me, or am I a result of the Effect others have over me?”

To gain maximum control over your life and to develop, you need to take responsibility for everything that happens in your world. There are two types of people: those who live at Cause and those who live at Effect. The biggest change you can make is to shift from Effect to Cause. This means taking responsibility for your life, your decisions, and your outcomes.

People who live at Cause are proactive, leading by results. They make things happen, take initiative, find new ways, and act first. These are the natural habits of successful individuals.

In contrast, those who live at Effect are reactive, leading by reasons. They blame others or situations for their excuses, they are guided and told what to do, they use others for justification, and blame others for how they’ve been acted upon.

This shift from Effect to Cause involves adopting a proactive attitude. Proactive individuals use language that reflects control and responsibility, such as "I am in control," “I can find a way to better my situation”, "I can focus and make it happen," and "It’s my fault; I will learn and work on being better." On the other hand, reactive individuals often use language that absolves them of responsibility, such as "They tell me what to do," "I don’t get any luck," and "It’s not my fault; it was because of them or that…."

Are you the cause of what happens in your world, or are you the effect that others have upon you? This fundamental question underscores the essence of personal responsibility. If you are the cause, you shape your destiny, make decisions, and drive outcomes. Conversely, if you are the effect, you need to change urgently. Currently you let external circumstances and others' actions dictate your life and this will hold you back from reaching your full potential.

By choosing to be the cause, you empower yourself to overcome obstacles and create opportunities.

Using NLP to Move from Effect to Cause

Neurological Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques such as Anchoring and Reframing can help you understand and change your behaviour patterns to move from Effect to Cause. By altering your language and mindset, you can adopt a more proactive approach to life. This shift empowers you to take charge of your actions and outcomes, rather than blaming external factors for your situation.

Example 1: Reframing

Reframing is an NLP technique where you change the way you perceive a situation. Instead of seeing a setback as a failure, reframe it as a learning opportunity. For instance, if a project at work doesn’t go as planned, instead of thinking, "I failed because my team didn’t support me," reframe it to, "I learned valuable lessons about teamwork and project management that I can apply in the future."

Or, if you didn’t play well on the golf course, rather than saying, “It was the greens today that let me down; they really were terrible,” reframe to, “I shall stay tonight and work on my putting so next time I am more prepared.”

Example 2: Anchoring

Anchoring involves associating a physical action with a desired mental state.

For example, if you feel your emotions are undesired and you want to feel more confident before a presentation, create an anchor by clenching your fist while recalling a moment when you felt very confident. You can do this in advance of the speech: think of a positive memory where you felt great. Close your eyes and visualise yourself in the memory, feel the emotions, and see yourself and those around you. Build your feelings of confidence. As you do so, clench your fist tightly. Each time you open your eyes to recalibrate, open your fist. When you once again have a clear visualisation, clench your fist again. By doing this repeatedly, sometimes under hypnosis, clenching your fist during the presentation can trigger that confident feeling, helping you take proactive control of your emotional state. Many actors, singers, athletes, and performers use a trick like this. It can be a flick of the hair, two fingers touching, or a pull of the trouser leg. Anything you can anchor to help you feel the emotions of another event. In NLP this is used widely to great success.

The Events We Don’t Have Control Over

There are many events in life we don’t have control over. Who is Prime Minister? Who is the next Bond? World Economics? The list goes on and on. We must never focus on matters we don’t have control over; it is a waste of our time and we cannot affect the outcome. By controlling and being the cause of our destinies, we are able to build a strong, valuable mindset to tackle the world we live in, develop ourselves, and progress.

It's important to recognise that many events and circumstances are beyond our influence. Focusing on these uncontrollable factors can lead to frustration and wasted energy. Instead, shift your focus to what you can control. Your actions, reactions, decisions, and attitudes are within your power. By taking charge of these aspects, you build resilience and a proactive mindset. This approach helps you navigate challenges more effectively and positions you to take advantage of opportunities that come your way.

Concentrating on your own growth and development is key. When you take responsibility for your own progress, you are better equipped to handle whatever the world throws at you. This doesn't mean ignoring external events, but rather acknowledging them, considering them and how they affect you, before casting any unnecessary matters away without letting them dictate your path.

In summary, don't waste time on any news beyond your control. Focus on being the cause of your own success. By doing so, you empower yourself to create a fulfilling and impactful life.

Empowerment Through Responsibility

Empowerment comes from taking responsibility for your life and actions. It involves setting higher standards for yourself and striving to meet them. This proactive attitude leads to empowerment, while a reactive attitude leads to victimisation. By taking responsibility, you empower yourself to create the life you want.

Which side of the Cause & Effect equation do you sit on? Are you the cause of your life, or are you the effect of what happens to you? Make the choice today to move from Effect to Cause, take responsibility for your life, and unlock your full potential.

I’m available for one to one coaching and business seminars and can be reached at Dan@DanGodding.com.