Celebrating My Wife/Co-Publisher for Women's History Month

Being Women’s History Month, here is an article I wrote last year about my wife, Penny, a true inspiration, and the co-publisher of Vermont’s Northland Journal.

 The Story of My Wife — Co-publisher of Vermont’s Northland Journal

 This book is dedicated to my wife, Penny, the woman who made me who I am today and who has stood beside me every step of the way.

  The previous sentence is that of the dedication in my latest book—Newport: Voices from an Evolving Community, which was published last year—and I mean every word of it.

  During the last almost 20 years of the history of the Northland Journal, we have recorded the stories of countless people. I’m using this column now to introduce you to, and to share a bit of history about Penny, my wife of 36 years. The co-publisher and unsung hero behind the Journal, she is a woman who tries to avoid the spotlight, choosing to work behind the scenes. Well, behind the scenes no more. I admire this woman so much and I’ve wanted to share her story for so long—and here it is.

 Penny was born on May 28, 1966, the youngest of four siblings (another died at birth), and the only girl born to the late John and Ruth (Barrup) Curtis. She grew up in a rambling old house on Route 5A in Brownington. For decades, each deer hunting season, John and the boys’ trophies hung from a limb of a giant tree in the front yard.

 Growing up with three spirited brothers, all outdoorsmen—Lee (who has since passed away), Ben, and Lyle “Bog”—Penny certainly was no “girly-girly.” No, she was a tomboy. If her brother Lyle, the closest to her in age and her constant sidekick through school (whether he liked it all the time or not), didn’t wear a dress, she certainly wasn’t going to wear one. To this day, she seldom wears dresses or makeup and such. Honestly, I think growing up with three brothers prepared her for the challenges of life, because, to this day, there is no challenge she won’t face head-on, including the ravages of illness, without complaint or drama. Even when she has every right to complain, she seldom does so. Instead, she focuses on the positive and on the people who have it worse than she does. John was a carpenter and logger, and for him, there was only one way to do a job—“the right way.” He didn’t believe in shortcuts. Ruth was a stay-at-home mother. Besides caring for the children when they were young, and cleaning the house, Ruth made home-cooked meals using vegetables they grew in their garden and meat they sometimes raised themselves, as well as wild game and fish they harvested. She also canned many vegetables, stored root crops in a root cellar, and froze meat, all for use during the winter months.

 Thinking back in time, Penny said there was little need for her parents to go to the grocery store, as her mother cooked everything from scratch, using food they either grew, raised, or harvested. She has particularly fond memories of her mother’s first-of-the-season fresh pea soup. Many years after her mother’s death, she still remembers the ingredients of the soup: fresh peas and small potatoes, milk and butter. Then when the green beans ripened, the by then out-of-season peas were replaced with beans. Her mother also loved to bake, including making all the family’s bread from scratch, as well as goodies such as donuts, cookies, sticky buns, and pies.

One of Penny’s favorite times of the year was raspberry picking time. She can still taste her mother’s raspberry pies, and to this day, Penny’s favorite dessert is raspberry pie.

 By the time Penny was born in 1966, most people in this part of Vermont had such luxuries as electricity, running water, and a phone in their homes. Her family had some of them, but she had far fewer luxuries than many of her peers. Their home had electricity and it had running water, but when she was a young child, her parents didn’t have a bathtub. Instead, they bathed Penny and her siblings in a metal tub. In the winter, they bathed in front of one of the two woodstoves that heated their home—similar to the way many rural Vermont children bathed in the generations before her. The family used one of those same woodstoves to toast their bread as they never owned a toaster.

 Most people of Penny’s and my age group grew up with modern washing machines and dryers. My family had such luxuries, but in Penny’s early years, her mother still used an old-fashioned manual wringer washer. Once the clothes were washed, Ruth hung them on the outdoor clothesline in spring, summer, and fall, and she hung them on clotheslines in the house during the winter. In time, Ruth had the luxury of a modern washer, but until she died in 1998, she never owned or desired an electric dryer. She continued to hang her clothes. And it wasn’t until Penny was in high school in the early 1980s that the family had a phone installed in the house.

 No, Penny’s family wasn’t rich in things, but they were rich in family and friends. And while they struggled financially, John and Ruth were quick to help others in need, whether it was with food or a temporary roof over their heads. Penny says as a youngster, she never knew if she’d find a new face at the breakfast table. It wasn’t rare for her father to come across somebody during his day, often at work, who needed a place to stay, some of them “hippies” during the back-to-the-land movement during the late 1960s and early ’70s.

 Many people who grew up in families with plenty of money often look at people who grew up in cash-strapped families and wonder how they could possibly have had happy childhoods. Well, let me tell you, Penny and I both grew up in such homes, but we had wonderful childhoods, ones in which we often had to invent our own fun. The Curtis kids certainly made their own fun. Penny said she particularly enjoyed playing softball (first base), ice fishing, and snowmobiling (that was back in the days when people had to make their own trails).

 Penny didn’t grow up on a farm, but she enjoyed spending time on her grandmother, Alta Barrup’s small farm just down the road. She fed the cows and calves and cleaned the gutters, but she said her most memorable thing was helping deliver a calf. But it wasn’t all work and no play and no fun. She also liked to play in the grain bin. To this day, Penny loves milk, but back then she drank warm milk directly from the cow.

 As a youngster, Penny’s family seldom traveled far from home. Her father certainly wasn’t going to venture into the traffic of the “city” of Newport Main Street. However, he and his wife periodically took the kids on a real adventure, all on its own, to Mammoth Mart. The department store was located in the plaza on the Derby Road in Derby, where Shaw’s grocery store is today. It later became King’s Department Store, then Ames Department Store, where Penny worked in high school.

 It isn’t rare for modern-day families to eat out once a week. However, back when Penny was young, she said her family only went out to eat once a year. On March 27, for her parents’ anniversary, they all enjoyed a meal at Wayne’s Fisherman’s Platter, which was located on Route 105 in Newport Center.

 Another, even more exciting, annual outing for her family was going to the Orleans County Fair (aka Barton Fair). Going to the fair was fun, but Penny said fair season also brought with it a special treat for lunch. Her mother made ground Spam sandwiches with pickles and onions ground in. Although the Curtis children were allowed one fair goody, Penny said nothing beat her mother’s Spam sandwiches. During her teenage years, the fair was a popular spot for her to hang out with friends. During that chapter of her life, she was a real wild child, starkly different from the woman she grew into.

 Fast forward to 1984, the year both Penny and I graduated from high school, she from Lake Region Union High School in Barton, and I from North Country Union High School in Newport. A few days after graduating, the two of us became an item. She welcomed me into her family of carpenters, woodsmen, and hunters. I was a person who could barely pound a nail straight, knew little about operating a chainsaw, and who is lucky to hit a 4 x 8-foot piece of plywood at 100 yards with a rifle. Despite those “shortcomings,” though, Penny loved me, and I was accepted into the family. In return, I apparently had a mellowing influence on her, the once-speed demon of the road.

 Penny and I married on August 17, 1985, and the following year we welcomed identical twin sons, Curtis and Nicholas, who are now 35 years old. Within weeks after their birth, something happened that forever changed the course of our lives. Penny had a mother’s instinct that something was wrong with them, although their doctor rather arrogantly suggested we had no idea what we were talking about. Then, in brief, Nick went into full cardiac arrest on our way to the hospital. He was basically dead when I ran him into the hospital, where he was quickly resuscitated. We soon learned that Curtis was also at death’s door, both children suffering from a rare kidney disorder. Doctors gave us little hope for their survival. We credit Dr. Kenneth Copeland, who at the time was an endocrinologist at what is now the University of Vermont Medical Center, for not only saving our sons but also curing them. However, I have no doubt if it hadn’t been for Penny’s tenacity and a mother’s instincts, we would have lost them.

 The near-deaths of our sons were a defining point in our lives. Instead of being bitter about not feeling listened to by their former doctor, we cherished having a second chance with our sons. Knowing what it felt like not to be heard—I believe, at least in part because of our age and socioeconomic status at the time—my wife and I have worked for the last 35 years, in different capacities, including in the pages of the Journal, helping to give the voiceless a voice.

 Another big milestone for us occurred in 1991 when we welcomed our happy-go-lucky daughter, Emily, into our lives. Our family was so blessed to have this beautiful, blond little girl join the family. In so many ways, she is so much like her mother, including how she dedicates her entire life to her children.

 When I announced I wanted to attend college, Penny supported me. I went on to graduate from college, but Penny had plans of her own. She worked her way from cashier at Grand Union (which was in the building which now houses Vista Foods in the Waterfront Plaza in Newport) to retail pharmacy technician at LaVerdieré drug store, which was located on the Derby Road in Derby. From there, she was hired at North Country Hospital in Newport, where she worked for several years as a pharmacy technician. Eventually, though, through hard work, education, and an immense amount of training, she climbed the ladder to become a pharmacy clinical analyst in the Clinical Informatics Department. A component of her job was using her computer skills to ensure the safety of patients.

 Then a couple of years ago, she retired from North Country after working there 22 years to focus more on the Journal. Because of her humbleness and desire to remain out of the limelight, most people have no idea the huge role she plays in the day-to-day workings of the magazine. From the very beginning of the Journal in April 2002, she has been the one who has maintained the business’s financial books, as well as our subscription database. However, several months after leaving North Country, she was recruited to manage a private medical clinic in Newport owned by Dr. Leslie Lockridge—Northeast Kingdom Hematology and Oncology. To this day, she juggles her duties at the Journal and the medical practice.

 In whatever aspect of healthcare Penny has worked in, she has been and still is a strong advocate of every patient getting the care they need and deserve, no matter their age or socioeconomic status.

 Whether in the healthcare field or with the Journal, she certainly inherited her parents’ work ethic. Like her father, she has the attitude that there is only one way to do a job—“the right way.”

  Penny has excelled in the workplace beyond her wildest dreams, but she has never let a job define her. As was the case with her mother, her proudest role is that of mother and now of grandmother to our five grandchildren. Not one to focus on finding happiness in money, she worked part-time while the children were young. It wasn’t until Emily went to college in 2009 that she went to work full time.

 Our children are now grown up, graduated from college, and all three are married. Curtis is married to Gabrielle, Nick is married to Abigail, and Emily is married to Robert Brugman. Curtis and Emily and their spouses have blessed us with five grandchildren: Brooke (7) and Daniel (4) Wheeler; and Lucas (5), Annabelle (3), and Henry (1) Brugman. Although our children have now scattered with the wind and are living happily in various parts of the country, I suspect we are a closer family than many parents and adult children who live in the same community. We have truly been blessed.

 Surviving any marriage is challenging, but when couples enter into matrimony as young as we did, the odds of a successful marriage are even less likely, but we have made it work. We share many things in common, most notably our dedication to our children, grandchildren, and family in general, and, of course, we are dedicated to one another. Her strengths are often my weaknesses, and her weaknesses are often my strengths. Yes, with 36 years of marriage behind us, like most marriages, there have been bumps in the road, but not once did we ever seriously consider giving up on one another.

 Another thing about Penny is, while we don’t attend church regularly, I daresay I know few other people with as deep a spiritual faith as she has. I think that is one reason she is almost unflappable in the most stressful situations. Besides faith, we also rely on a whole lot of humor to survive, especially during the most challenging chapters of our lives. Because of her nature, in times of struggle, it isn’t uncommon for other family members, particularly younger members, to turn to her for her nonjudgmental ear and sometimes a shoulder to cry on.

 From my perspective, if I’d never met Penny, I wouldn’t be the person I am today, and I’d never have lived the life I have lived. We grew up together, and unlike many young couples who marry, instead of growing apart, we have grown closer together and have become each other’s best friend.