Changing people's lives means something

Do you know the story of Harilal Gandhi? He was son of a great personality who touched thousands of life not only in his country but across the globe too. The glory of touching others life looks so picturesque that we tend to ignore the price one had to pay for it. Harilal Gandhi was son of Mahatma Gandhi who considered that dealing with Harilal's problems were more difficult for him than the struggle for Indian republic. Mahatma Gandhi was loved by whole nation and kept a mark on people from other Nations too, but he could never get even part of that affection from his eldest son.

This story is not about “How the intention of changing others life is meaningless or impossible”. This story has both answers to this question and also background question one needs to ask before taking up this noble cause. I think the simplest way to change others life is by practicing the philosophy of “Tyag” aka Sacrifices. Harilal wanted to go to England for higher studies and hoped to become a barrister as his father had once been. His father firmly opposed this, believing that a Western-style education would not be helpful in the struggle against British rule over India. This opposition to his sons request attracted a lot of followers to Gndhiji, when they saw a man doing what he preaches, who did not even allow his own son to break those principles.

When you want to make changes on others life, you need to have a list of Principles & Ideas you as your core, which can not be tailored as per situations and people. And you have to be prepared to offer any sacrifice to live to those principles. Touching others life seems like a natural and simple thing to do because you are doing it with good intention, but it has far more serious ramification than we expect in general.

Teachers are first few people who initiate and build changes in our outlook to life , after our parents. Imagine a teacher putting a wrong seed in your mind, which might affect your life after 20 years. That is why being a teacher is the biggest responsibility one can have. You can imagine the consequences of teaching B for Bomb & G for Gun to a kid in kindergarten. When you do something for someone, this action of yours should be weighed for all possible outcome for toady and tomorrow. If I invent Dynamite, I can not become free myself from the responsibility, if it kills thousands of people tomorrow. So bringing change and touching others life is the noblest idea of all, only if it is taken with full responsibility.

If you explore the life of famous people throughout the world, who touched the life of thousands, making sacrifices would emerge the biggest reason why they could do it. Giving away money or helping others bring momentarily effect and you would have only so much resource to do it. But when you stick to your principles and sacrifice things to stick to it, you would attract people who would help you to propel your dream of changing others life farther and farther. Till then you and we all can start with one person at a time.

Every week going out on Friday, back up on Monday. I met dozens of people and connected with many of them. Listen deeply when they speak. Let them really speak their mind. Don't try to push out your own stories, don't keep checking the time and treat them with unconditional positive regard. To them, you are a stranger. There are few to no expectations and preconditions. That means they are the most receptive to you. Hear them out, why they travel, what is going on in their life. Most importantly, don't being any expectations or preconditions of your own. Sometimes, the kindness of an absolute stranger can be a powerful force.

It is human nature to surround ourselves with mirrors. People, objects, opinions and mindsets that reinforce our own. When an absolute stranger has a genuine conversation with you, you may reveal or realize things you never considered. Don't go looking for revelations on every 55-minute trip. Don't expect your life to change. If you go into every situation looking to change lives, you're coming in with expectations. Those expectations can limit you, and instead of being a genuine conversation, you end up cherry picking your own experiences, chalking up wins and losses. Life isn't a movie. You wont change the world for someone every day.

There was one day, just one, where I spoke with a woman who seemed perfectly happy, but distant. By the end of our conversation, crying, she gave me a hug. She told me, "That's just what my daughter would have said. Thank you for reminding me what is important." I have no idea what she went on to do, where her life went. I don't know what happened to her daughter, other than that her daughter had passed away, and recently. All I know is that I listened genuinely, spoke truly, and my words helped her identify her grief, and begin to take a step against it. A woman I knew nothing about, but by chance alone, I would like to think I changed her life for the better.

It isn't about wins and losses, whether or not you're a hero in their life. What matters is being a kind and respectful person, and a genuine listener. Lets have a look on Gandhi’s rules for changing the world - Change yourself first. “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” “As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.” You are in control. “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” Forgive and let it go. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” “An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” Without action you aren’t going anywhere.

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” Take care of this moment. “I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.” Everyone is human. “I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.” Persist. “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” See the good in people and help them. “I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.” “Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.”

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.” Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” “Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.” Continue to grow and evolve. ”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.” So, the honest answer to your question is bring the above changes in you and you will inspire and bring changes in masses. Cheers!