Christmas Blues

Feeling low this Christmas season? You’re not alone. Amid cheery songs, festive parties, gifts, and good wishes, many lonely people are crying or dying on the inside. Maybe you’re one of them.

The holidays can be difficult if reality doesn’t meet expectations, or if you have loved ones far away, have suffered a loss or feel alone. It seems for many of us.

I remember when I lost my mom, who raised 11 of us, days before Christmas; or when I lost my younger brother, he was killed by an Iranian in Baghdad city; or when my oldest brother Sam when he ran from Baghdad to the U.S,A, then died in the U.S , a few days after the holidays. Then my beloved Cat Smokey passed away on December 26th, 2019 at age 13 , after his heart operation. They all in my heart and I pray for them and still count God blessing and Accept his give and take rules.

Frequently, the memories of a hard time can carry over into Christmas yet to come and feelings of sadness well up in our hearts and cast a fog around the bright lights of the day.

I think that being by yourself is very different than feeling lonely. I have often felt full and in a place of joy when I was on the road alone, or driving alone talking to God every now and then. And many times my greatest sense of loneliness was when other people around me were celebrating. So I take my mind to a daydream or to the dream land of remembering my family overseas .

If you are a person of faith, you can embrace the hope and promise of this time. If you are not a person of religious faith, you can recall those who you have loved or those who love you so you might feel less alone.

Often it is the things we want most , closeness, connection and love , that we unintentionally block in ourselves that prevent us from getting what we hunger for and need. I found the best thing for me is to volunteer in the food bank, feed the hungry and helping the animal

I have found the best way to escape those feelings is to reach out to others with compassion and caring, even if it is just smiling at the twists and turns of daily life. When I touch someone with an affectionate word or action, even a stranger, I am touched, and feel part of something bigger than my own concerns.

I had a patient last week in my ultrasound room who lost his dog and I can feel he wanted someone to listen so I was all ears and he cried and I told him my story and we both cried in the ultrasound room for our beloved pets. He thanked me before he left, and was so happy and relaxed that someone listened to his story. People do not want a solution in these times of sadness, they need someone to listen and be companionate.

I wish you the ability to be grateful for the gifts you receive during this holiday season, even if some of those are painful. Those hurts give you the capacity to grow into the beautiful being you were always meant to be. By turning toward the light and away from the darkness, we can not only build better, brighter and more meaningful lives for ourselves, but also the kind of community and country we are called to do as our purpose.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, happy New Year, and happy holidays to each of you, and May you know you are loved. And may you embrace moments of fullness and joy today, replacing the memories of being alone with togetherness and a bond of kindness.

Is your family apart this season by necessity or choice? Maybe an “empty chair” reminds you of your pain. Does the Christmas “Ho, Ho, Ho” contrast with your deep anguish?

One possible influence, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), is a form of depression the medical community doesn’t completely understand. The Mayo Clinic says genetics, age, and body chemistry could be the culprits. Mayo recommends seeing your doctor if you feel down for days and have motivation problems. Symptoms can include changing sleep patterns and appetite, feeling hopeless, contemplating suicide, or seeking comfort in alcohol.

How can you cope with Christmas loneliness?

Spend time with people online, and social media, especially positive ones who lift your spirits. Perhaps you’ll be grateful for their cheer.

Exercise regularly. Blood pumping can help clear your mind.

Eat right. Chocoholics and sweet tooth beware. Overindulgence can mean temporary highs followed by disappointing flab.

Lights on! Enjoy sunlight, outdoors if possible. Brighten up your home and workplace. Light therapy sometimes helps SAD.

Budget your gift spending and stick with your budget. Prevent January bill shock.

Talk about your feelings. Keeping them bottled up can mean anxiety, ulcers, sour disposition, and/or explosion.

Give to others. Volunteer. 

Develop spiritual roots. I’m glad that before my dark days began, I already had my faith. Believing in something eternal can help put the temporal in perspective.

You can choose how to let this holiday season affect you. You can let it bring you down or allow it to lift your spirits despite whatever unpleasantness has happened to you this year or who is not sharing the season with you.

You may feel lonely, but you are not alone. Remember that millions are dying, millions lost their jobs, thousands committed suicide, and many filed for divorce and bankruptcy, even pets died of covid, it is sad time and very sad year indeed. God is watching, listening as he did before in Noah time, Moses time, David time, and all those who were before us who had great tribulation and sadness but at the end with God grace and mercy they were saved.

Thank you for reading, for more stories please visit my blog at www.moleopedia.com

Steve Ramsey, PhD-Public Health, MSc-Medical ultrasound, PgD- Natural Health.