The Clean Ego

The Clean Ego - part 1

I have recently had many people ask me to unpack the concept of "Clean Ego". I started using the word publically when blogging about from the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham. I straddle the complementary worlds of sports and business performance and whatever your vocation you will be able to map and apply this to your context.

I have had the immense privilege of being involved in all levels of sport for my entire life. In the last 18 years I have worked with some of South Africa’s finest athletes. I worked with the Springbok rugby team for three Rugby World Cup cycles and was honoured to be playing a support role in France, when SA won the World Cup in 2007. For the last three years, I have assisted Garreth Ewing, the SA Men’s Hockey coach as a leadership, culture, and performance coach. We recently excelled in the Commonwealth Games where we placed fourth. In 2018, in Brisbane we were stone last – 10th!

Let’s take a step back and consider why people play sport.

 Sport psychologists have devoted a lot of time to try and figure out what motivates various athletes and how motivation could be measured and enhanced. A good starting question to ask yourself is “why do you play sport?” Take a minute to list some of the reasons you play sport.

Most people participate for the recreational pleasure, to get fit and make friends. Only a minute percentage of sportsmen are elite. So chill, find out why you play and ask yourself what level you enjoy playing at? It is important that you feel comfortable in your own skin. Some people feel at home in an international or top league team hockey team and devote a huge percentage of their efforts to excel in this area. Other athletes can’t stand the pressure of elite sport and don’t want to devote all their focus to one sporting pursuit. They enjoy a variety of activities i.e. getting outdoors for a hike or to ride their mountain bike in some rejuvenating environment that is good for the body and soul.

This diagram can help you find some of the puzzle pieces to your motivation:

Ego

Ego is important, it might motivate you to get your blackbelt in karate but is can also get tainted like in the case of Lance Armstrong and take you down a path of self-deception where you dope to win competitions or to look better on social media when you take a pic of your six-pack.

 Mastery – You are inspired to master a skill.

 It could be being an ace on your skateboard, playing the guitar, writing computer code or the pleasure you take out of drag flicking in hockey, perfecting a gymnastics or springboard diving routine or working in synergy as a team of synchronised swimmers. Many of us are spurred on to master a task as it is really cool to master a skill and forms an integral part of our self-esteem.

Social Approval – it is important to belong socially, to know who your friends and tribe are.

However, there are a lot of unhealthy components in our school ( I speak from a South African perceptive) and club systems. Various sub-cultures, like ‘Jock culture’ where adolescent men think they are ‘the main man’ and discriminate against those not like them. A lot of these men need to open their eyes to see the trappings of toxic masculinity where you always have to act tough and treat girls as a sexual object. Some of us play sport to be accepted and  to earn our parents love and to feel like we are part of the ‘in-group’.

Success also makes us look cool on social media, but be warned, there are trappings to these patterns of existence. It’s important to find out what motivates you, and then to keep the motivation flowing it is essential that you build and celebrate success whether big or small. Success in itself is a process of many small steps, and each victory must be identified and celebrated. PS it is fascinating to see the uptake of Paddle/Pickle Ball around the world post Covid. People are connecting, celebrating life..

A Deeper dive into the Ego - you can have a clean ego or an unclean ego.

 What is a clean ego?

 It's how you make decisions, set personal boundaries and maintain self-esteem. You take care of yourself, you feel good about who you are, and you stand by your values. These are signs of a healthy ego. It's when your ego takes over that the wars begin.

 Identifying Unhealthy Ego States

The unhealthy Ego States are: Selfish, Pleaser, Rebellious, Master Manipulator, Critical, and Enabling. Selfish – In the Selfish ego state, people are reckless and demanding. They try to have fun without thinking of the consequences.