Closing Out Mental Health Awareness Month: Peeling Off the "Mask" at Work
It’s November 1st, and if you’re anything like me, you’re raiding your kids’ candy stash. But first, I wanted to tip my witch hat to the end of October: Mental Health Awareness Month—the time of year when we get real about unmasking—and not just because my dollar store costume makeup made me itchy. (Yes, that was the best segue/metaphor I could come up with! I didn’t want to ghost on the importance of mental health. 👻 )
Here's a not-so-fun fact: The WHO tells us that depression and anxiety disorders cost the global economy a whopping $1 trillion in lost productivity each year. That's a lot of zeros. And it shows that what is often invisible to those around us can show up in every aspect of our interconnected lives.
I've lived enough years to recognize the power of mental health conversations. They say you can't pour from an empty cup, and it's true—you can only ignore your needs and muscle through challenges for so long before it takes a toll. I also know through lived experience that most people have something going on behind the scenes that you can’t see (until they get passive-aggressive with you on a Zoom call) 😅.
I’m not a therapist (although if hours spent in therapy got you a degree…), so I’ll keep this to what I’ve learned while trying to figure myself out over the years.
We're beings of body and mind, architects of emotions (energy-in-motion, if you will), and we're quick to judge emotions that show up as "good" or "bad." Yet the most empowering perspective I've encountered is:
EMOTIONS ARE DATA
We tend to push away feelings we deem bad or unpleasant. But I’ve found it helpful to imagine emotions as those pesky pop-up notifications on your work email or Slack. They're not there to annoy you (even if they do a fantastic job of it) but to give you a heads-up that something needs your attention. If you're feeling more zombie than unicorn at work, it's not a badge of dishonor, and it doesn’t mean you’re a worthless, unlovable soul who is destined to die alone. It's simply your body's quirky way of conveying, "Hey, I need a minute." Modern life makes it so easy to check out, but when’s the last time you took a beat to check in?
Taking it to a workplace metaphor: Our emotions are like the real-time data and alerts on a shiny new BI dashboard. When we feel depleted, it's not a judgment of our worthiness or enoughness; it’s simply an alert to address unmet needs. It could be as physical as needing food or rest (don't ignore your animal self!) or as emotional as needing to express ourselves (don't ignore that which makes you human).
What insights can we identify from our emotional data? Do you need a [walk, snack, nap, glass of water, call with a friend, bit of help with that project]?
So why bring up all this in a workplace context? Well, because feelings don't have a snooze button — believe me, I've looked. They show up in our emails, our Slack messages, and yes, even in how passionately we debate over our chosen flavour of Bubly. (Sorry, friends, but it's Lime all the way.)
FEELINGS AREN'T FACTS (But they sure like to dress up as them)
Our brains are great storytellers, especially when they decide that a coworker's “Hey, can we chat?” is workplace-speak for "You're in trouble." That's my cue for something I learned in Kickstartology Coaching — a bit of “thought math”: The mental gymnastics we do from what happens (Circumstance) to how we interpret it (Thought), how that thought makes us feel (Feeling), how we then respond to it (Action), and what ultimately unfolds (Result).
Circumstance —> Thought —> Feeling —> Actions —> Results (CTFAR)
Here’s an example: A colleague (say, Rahim in Marketing, for example) sends you a Slack message with no emojis—just plain text. And you read it in a robot voice, assuming Rahim is mad at you. Maybe it makes you want to avoid his request. But what evidence do you have to prove that Rahim is indeed annoyed? Maybe Rahim's not an emoji guy, just a straight shooter with a no-frills keyboard approach? Taking a beat to examine and reframe your thoughts can help the cloud of concern lift, which can address feelings of stuckness and get us moving into action.
Spoiler alert: Personalizing things is an unhelpful habit you can toss out. Someone’s actions/reactions typically say more about them than they do about you. Also, no one is really thinking about you.
These tips aren’t a cure-all, of course, but they’re handy in my triage kit when working through challenging moments. Caveat: Sometimes, you can have all the tools in the world and still feel down. It’s OK not to be OK, as they say. That’s where your family doctor, a trusted confidant, and, hopefully, your extended benefits plan really come into play.
Moving into November, let's not pack away mental health awareness with those mini candy bars. Let's keep checking in with ourselves and each other. Let's aim for workplaces that are less about eerie silence and more about open conversations. We’re all just human, after all. (I'm treating myself to another Coffee Crisp for keeping the Halloween metaphors going until the end.)