The Clown In The Networking Circus

I am usually never at a loss for words, sometimes annoyingly so! And yet, put me in an event to “network” and I become tongue-tied, have a knot in my stomach, and want to be invisible.  I just find the whole experience counterintuitive. To go after building a “network” for networks’ sake for me is akin to volunteering to have my hand chopped off!  Sounds extreme but it’s a genuine personal phobia. One can be intentional but looking at every opportunity to “force” #networks is simply painful. To my mind -

• #networking at events is like a fishing expedition with very few taking the bait. Granted, some people have honed it into fine art and it works for them. For me, it’s a little worse than reading “How to win friends and influence people”.
• There is usually a lot of posturing to please someone when forcing a connection. I cringe when I listen to myself in these situations. Again, it is my limitation!
• Forcing Networks also involves kissing a lot of frogs to find a prince. I’d just rather sit at home and read Cinderella!
• It feels fundamentally wrong to decide who is “important” or worth connecting with (which I feel a lot of forced networks involve). It’s like the worst version of a swayamvar! 

Instead, networks built on a genuine human connection and nurtured because two people who have mutual respect, are both long-lasting and valuable. A robust and flourishing network is based on mutual respect, where everyone benefits in some tangible or intangible way and is more free-flowing than structured. While forcing a network isn’t ideal, nurturing an existing network, on the other hand, keeps it vibrant.

I think of it as my personal garden and I am intentional about keeping it blooming.

• I try never to be transactional with the people in my core network. I focus on building rich relationships instead.
• Small actions have a large impact- acknowledging wins, offering support wherever possible, or just remembering birthdays! If people matter, then it’s important to make an effort.
• The core of a network is trust - once it’s broken it’s hard to fix. When there is personal accountability and integrity, a strong network manifests almost organically. 
• I also like to allow for serendipity to bring people into my network.  The most unexpected connections have led to some of my most meaningful experiences.
• For networks to flourish, it's important to spring clean. If there are people who don’t bring joy, opportunity, or some intangible value but instead hold you back from your own potential, then they don’t have a place in the network.

This is singularly my take on networking and not a social commentary. In the end, we all do what we can to thrive and flourish. I personally would rather be the clown at a circus than at a “networking” event!

#CallingItOut