Coaching Conversation: Aligning Your Goals with Your Values

As an executive coach, Coach David is often sought out by individuals striving for greater success and fulfillment in their lives and careers. While ambition and determination are crucial ingredients, there's an often-overlooked factor that plays an even more significant role: alignment.

For this edition of Career Growth Catalyst, let’s shake things up a bit and instead of a topical career-related article, let’s do some coaching work together…

Let’s conceptualize your long-term success and how you plan to successfully achieve alignment between your aspirational goals for your life and career. Perhaps you’ve done the work to outline your specific goals, but maybe something feels off. Maybe some of the goals you thought you desired seem elusive, leaving you frustrated and unfulfilled.

If you’re forever struggling to be as successful as you’d like to be, your goals might be at odds with your core values.

Let me explain…

Our core values can be described as the measures we use to attribute worth and find meaning in our lives. This differs from our core beliefs, which are the long-term, deeply held convictions we have about ourselves and others. One way to think about it is that if a core belief is the lens through which we see the world, our core values are how we determine whether what we see is going well.

Think of your core values as your internal compass – like honesty or success – the principles guiding every decision and action and what truly matters to you. These values help us determine if our relationships, work and day-to-day decisions feel right and true to who we are and how we want to live. We naturally don’t like to behave in ways that are counter to our values, so if your personal goals are pulling you in a different direction, it’s no surprise that your success feels distant.

With that in mind, please take a moment and sit quietly and contemplate this powerful question:

How closely do my current goals align with my deepest core values?

When you’re ready to go to work and answer this question for yourself, block off 30 minutes on your calendar, go to a quiet place with no distractions and prepare to have a deep, introspective, honest and transparent conversation with yourself.

Let’s get started…

Step 1: Unearthing Your True North

Grab a notebook and pen, and let's embark on the journey of self-discovery. Take 15 minutes to jot down your core values. Be honest with yourself. What truly matters to you? Is it integrity, innovation, or perhaps compassion? How do your current actions and behaviors align with your values? Perhaps there's a gap somewhere?

There are no right or wrong answers here – just keep writing until you exhaust yourself of ideas. Once you have a list, prioritize them – what values resonate most deeply?

Step 2: Unmasking the Mismatches

Now, bring your goals into the spotlight. What are you striving for? Is it professional accomplishment, creative expression, or maybe building a strong family? Do your listed values naturally fuel these goals, or is there a disconnect?

Take a few minutes and write down your goals until you’ve exhausted your ideas on them, as well. Remember that we sometimes create idealized versions of ourselves, clinging to aspirations that don't actually reflect our true values.

Be brutally honest – if you value family above all else, then taking on that new growth assignment that will require you to be on the road 60 percent of the time and away from your young children might require more sacrifice than your priorities allow. How can you reconcile these?

Step 3: Bridging the Gap

Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater! If a mismatch exists, it's perfectly okay!

It just means it's time for some strategic recalibration as you continue to have this candid conversation with yourself.

For each goal, explore whether it truly aligns with your core values. Does it bring you closer to that ideal self you envisioned?

Remember, values are not just abstract concepts; they guide our actions. So, how can you bridge the gap between your values and your desired outcomes? Brainstorm concrete ways you can embody those values in your daily life, even in small steps.

Option 1: Reframing Your Goals:

How might you tweak your goals to align with your existing values? Perhaps the growth assignment you believe you need for the next promotion can be developed in another area or an adjacent department that doesn’t require frequent travel.

What might you be willing or needing to do to influence that outcome, keeping in mind the influencing you’ll need to do within your chain of command who have strongly suggested that this stretch assignment will be good for your career?

Option 2: Embracing Value Evolution:

Are there values you'd like to cultivate to support your aspirations? Imagine a person perfectly suited to achieve your goals. What values and qualities would this person possess? How would you need to adjust your own values to align with this ideal?

Can you bridge the gap between your current values and this ideal? Remember, small shifts can make a big difference.

Step 4: Inspiration in Action

Look at successful individuals in your field, your mentors, family, friends, colleagues, or anyone you know who embodies your desired goals. What values seem to drive their achievements? Analyze their behavior and see how you can adapt those qualities to your own journey.

How well can you rearrange your values to match that ideal set of values? The closer you’re able to come, the greater the odds of your success.

Step 5: Building Self-Belief

Finally, understand that lasting change starts with self-belief. Imagine proving to yourself you possess the values needed for success. Saving pennies, finding frugal ways to de-stress, or automatically saving a portion of your income are small actions that reinforce your commitment to a values-driven life.

There's no shame in adjusting your course in this manner. This process is about creating a future pathway that helps lead you to a future where goals and values are in sync and aligned.

As with anything we become proficient in, practice makes perfect, so this should not be a one-time exercise. It's an ongoing dialogue with yourself about your goals and values. As you evolve, your priorities may shift too. You can revisit this conversation regularly to ensure your path is aligned with your authentic self.

Step 6: Write it All Down

There are hopefully a million thoughts jumbling around in your head right now as you’re delving into this conversation with yourself, but the best way to walk away with something tangible to work from going forward is to write it down.

There is no particular framework needed here – it’s whatever works for you in terms of how you usually list and compile your thoughts. The idea, however, is to formulate a plan of execution in terms of what you want and need to pull from the exercise and then hold yourself accountable to start implementing.

Perhaps there’s additional work that you need to accomplish before completing this exercise in terms of collaborations with some of your key champions. That’s perfectly fine. The objective here is for you to get in the practice of rationalizing your core values and goals in a way that allows them to live in sync together in your existence.

Congratulations (in advance) on doing the work and completing the first step!

Conclusion:

I hope you’ll enjoy this opportunity for introspection that allows you to uncover your values, and ensure your goals are leading you towards a life filled with meaning, authenticity, and purpose.

If this exercise resonated with you and there are other aspects of your work and life existence that might benefit you, working with a coach can help you go much further on your journey to uncover your true north, refine your goals, and bridge the gap between them. Use this link to my LinkedIn page and click on “Book an Appointment” to schedule some time.

Let’s talk about it!

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