Colour of Pain

If anyone had asked me to name the colour of pain, I would have said red. Now, I know it's black - murky and viscous.

Pain is persistent and bold, leaving a mark. It cannot be ignored or reasoned with.

An Unfortunate Gym Accident

A few weeks ago, I shredded some back muscles. This was a gym incident that was exacerbated by a previous problem. Suffice to say, I gained a new perspective on suffering. And, for the first time I realized how many things a human being needs back muscles for.

For two days, I slept upright in a chair as I couldn't get in and out of bed without punishing spasms.

Removing plates or preparing meals was out of my reach. Bathing was excruciating. Bending to brush my teeth at the sink was an adventure. Stepping out of cars to get to hospital appointments required deep breathing. It was hell.

The thing is, I couldn't even speed up my recovery. Muscles take time to repair. So, all I could do was six weeks of daily physical therapy. The experience taught me some interesting lessons.

Lessons Learned

1. Everything is Connected: Not only was I limited because of my impaired back, the long-term fix was something else entirely - strengthening my abs and glutes.

From what my Physical Therapist explained, during my unfortunate workout with weights, I was putting undue pressure on my back. This happened because I hadn't yet developed my abs and glutes properly. So, I needed to spend time building those in tandem.

2. Present Actions Have Long-term Consequences: In addition to the pain from my torn muscles, I was also struggling with pinched nerves, an underlying issue that resurfaced.

Years ago, the doctor had said it was due to years at a desk job and the narrowing of some vertebrae. All I could do now was to manage things. Years hunched over a laptop had done me no favors.

It reminds me of how black women who used hair relaxers from childhood are now being told by experts the products may be linked to fibroids.

3. You Need Neighbours: In the first few days of the crisis, a neighbor graciously took me to Urgent Care. No one else was close by, including family. So, I would have been left to deal with 911, an expensive ambulance ride and hours waiting in the ER.

In everything, I concluded people shouldn't face crisis or do life alone. We all go through different colours of pain, but it's harder to bear without people that love and care for us.

Some folks find it easy to make friends. Others struggle to connect and be seen. If you are the latter, then I pray this will be your last year without friendship or community. May your wish for connection come true.

Thank you for reading.

PS: I just created a new Life Mastermind for those seeking substantial conversations about life, work and faith! Learn more.