Are comfort zones overrated?

I was ten years old and I had finally cracked the nod to be moved to the ‘senior’ squad at swimming. I had wanted this for a while. Getting to hang out with the older kids, the ‘cool’ factor that came with training above your age group, and of course all the accolades that would come from this move. Life was simpler at that age, so too were my motivations, albeit them very shallow.

The Summer of 1990 had arrived, and I was ready to ascend to the senior squad. School was out for the year, and December holidays were about to start. Things were good, or so it seemed. I remember arriving at the pool for dry land workouts and warmups for my first senior squad session. I was psyched! I rolled in with swag and no doubt had an air of confidence, or could it have been arrogance, surrounding me. I took my spot with the thirteen- and fourteen-year old’s and began the routine warmups before getting in the pool.

 Finishing that first session felt good. I can’t remember the set, but I know I felt awesome after it. It wasn’t quite as hard as I expected, and I grew even more confident knowing I had this whole ‘senior squad’ thing in the bag. Following cool down, per normal, our coach gave her thoughts on the set and the areas of focus for each of us. She also mentioned that the morning session the following day would start at 7am instead of 5:30am because of the school holidays. Wait, what? Morning session….

In the words of Spider man, “with great power comes great responsibility” … I guess I missed that memo on the responsibility part. I had wanted to join the senior squad so badly that I had either blocked out the fact that that meant morning and evening training sessions were part of the deal, or that I had just ignored that small detail while thinking about how cool I would be in joining the older kids

This was probably the first time in my life, that I can recall, that I was pushed outside my comfort zone. It was a moment and an opportunity that I could either embrace or not. It was status quo or opting for something more. That December will live on in infamy for me because I remember that my entire holidays revolved around swimming training. It was brutal and I was exhausted most of the time. I ate my body weight in carbs everyday just to replenish my energy. I slept, swam, ate, slept, swam, ate, slept, swam, ate … you get the vibe.

Apart from my swimming times improving dramatically, that December taught me one of the earlier life lessons that I carry to this day. Comfort Zones are overrated! This mantra has stuck with me through my life, and while I haven’t always applied it as diligently as I should have or could have, it has nonetheless helped me in those times I needed to dig deep. Looking back now, I realize that the times I grew the most, were those times I stepped up and out of my pre-defined comfort zone.

Now there are of course times when I took the comfortable decision, stayed in my zone and where it didn’t quite pay off. That may have been due to my inability of seeing it through, a lack of belief, realizing that whatever I was trying to do was not enjoyable, or where I had zero chance of achieving what I set out to do. I absolutely gave up a few times, went with the comfort of my status quo, and walked away when the going got tough. I regret some of these times, some of them I don’t. It is all about perspective.

There are also those times that I played the long game, decided to see it through, and embraced the space of discomfort. Without a shadow of a doubt, these are the times that I grew the most.

·       Going to boarding school at thirteen years old was tough, but it forged my character and made me who I am today. Five years at the best high school in the world taught me how to live “Tis here we learn to live” @Pretoria Boys High School.

·       Leaving my home country to explore the world and live abroad. South Africa will always be home and my heart lives there. That said, I am so grateful I had the opportunity to live and work in the USA and Nigeria, and travel to over one hundred countries while doing it. Living and learning about so many incredible cultures has been epic. 

·       Taking on highly visible global projects that are both high risk and high reward. At times doing things that had never been done before and accepting the gauntlet of responsibility to deliver.

·       Doing an MBA while I had full time job and after just becoming a daddy. Many people do this and can attest to the sacrifice that comes with it. Two years of this balancing act was anything but easy.

·       Moving into a new industry that I don’t know much about. The fast moving, ever evolving tech space. Jumping into this world that is shaping the future of the planet and that is evolving at such a rapid pace. Exciting but frightening at the same time…

·       Being a leader, with or without a title, and taking ownership for those in my team. Leadership is a lifelong journey of growth and it is sometimes really challenging and really lonely. I know I don’t always get it right, but when I do, it is without a doubt the most rewarding thing there is in business. Seeing your team grow, develop and take on leadership roles of their own is the biggest reward there is.

These are some of the career and life milestones that grew me in ways I never knew existed. These are examples of when either consciously, or unconsciously, I stepped out of my comfort zone.

I know that there has been a lot written about comfort zones, learning zones, growth zones and panic zones but without getting into too much literature on the various zones, these are some of the things I have figured out (and still figuring out) along the way.

Don’t be afraid to try something new

We often underestimate ourselves and don’t believe we can achieve what we have set out to do. Sometimes we will fail, sometimes we will fall – I am a perfect example. As Michael Jordan said, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. Don’t be afraid to try something new just because you may not be good at it (for now!).

Commit and give it 100%

As a build to the first point, sometimes we give up before we really get started. If you are pursuing something near and dear to your heart, then go for it with everything you have. It is one thing to fail, it is another to fail without trying. Not everything is easy, and some things are worth struggling for. Do the heavy lifting, go to ‘swimming training’ twice a day, and put your heart into it. You may get it quickly, or it could take years – either way, if you fully commit you will see the growth.

Be ok with being ok

The very nature of stepping outside your comfort zone means that you are going to be pushing your limits in areas that you are not yet an expert in. This means that you may not be the smartest, fastest, or best in the room. You need to be ok with being ok. This is difficult for some of us, but this is also part of the growth process.

Know the end game

It is important to know where you are going and why you are going there. Stepping outside your comfort zone means that you are going to fall and that you are going to fail. There are going to be many times you will want to give up. Keeping the end in sight is important on those days that you don’t quite feel it. There will be a lot of days where you feel like the progress is too slow. Keep at it, one step at a time as you move towards your destination.

Vulnerability is strength

Growth comes when we admit we are not perfect. There are areas we need to develop and that means we need to be open to feedback. Whether in sport, in business, or in life, it is key to know what you know (and probably even more importantly to know what you don’t know). Feedback and direction from friends, family, coaches and mentors is not always easy to receive and does take a certain amount of vulnerability. Embrace the feedback and the journey, your vulnerability will make you stronger for it.

Keep the balance and perspective

Living in the ‘uncomfortable zone’ can be grueling and all encompassing. Growth is often painful and can come at a cost and sacrifice to you and those around you. As you get into this zone, never loose sight of the good things you have either. Your family, friends, colleagues and employer may all cheering you on. Step back, acknowledge this, and remember what you have already done to get to this point. Don’t forget your support team either. While jumping out of your comfort zone is something only you as an individual can do; the stronger your support structure, the greater the likelihood of achieving success is.

At the end of the day, I fully subscribe to the notion that growth happens at the edge of your comfort zone. The further away from the edge you go, the more painful it may be, but so too is the growth you will see. Comfort zones are there to be challenged, to be pushed and to be broken. It is not easy; believe me I know. Despite my own failures and shortcomings, I have always found that if it is something worth pursuing, the effort and sacrifice is often worth it. “A ship is always safe at shore, but that is not what they are built for” (Albert Einstein)