Confidence
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Thank you, Dustin Dale
"I just suck right now." One of my former front-line leaders.
I was having a conversation with one of my former front-line leaders (around 8 years ago, who had moved into the role and seemed to be struggling to establish a foundation with the department.
My question back to them was, "Where do you feel you suck at" and yes, I used those exact words.
Psychology tip: Repeat their words back to them. Don't try to change them. Repeat them back to them in a question. This creates a stronger conversation by reinforcing their concept.
They went on to explain that the decisions they were making seemed to be making the situations tougher and the team they were leading more confused, and that confusion was leading to arguments, and those arguments were leading to the team questioning if the right person led them because the team was saying those things, it made them (the leader) question if they were even ready for the position and felt like they were going to be fired because of all of this.
Woah. Spiraling out of control... right?
This leader unpacked all those thoughts in a matter of 30 seconds, and at the end of their explanation, I watched them take a massive breath.
My next question is, "Do you feel better about getting that off your chest?"
They said yes, very much so.
Once I knew they said yes, they felt better, and then I knew we (that leader and I) could get to work to help them get back on track.
I asked them the following question.
"Do you know where you fell off the horse?"
On a side note... I hate corporate jargon, so please forgive me as you read this article. I no longer use such language. lol
They tried to think of a specific situation but couldn't come up with anything, so they stood there staring at me.
I told them they fell off the horse when they lost confidence in their leadership abilities.
The lightbulb went off.
I reminded them that they would make so many mistakes as they evolved and grew into this position that when those situations occurred, they needed to be ready to stay focused and believe in their leadership abilities.
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Leadership Tip: Sometimes, you must give your team permission to fail as a leader. Please encourage them to focus on the lessons learned.
At that very moment, I could see their posture stand upright and their chin raise a little bit higher. They were gaining their confidence, and they needed a reminder.
That leader went on to have an incredibly successful career.
Here is the point I want all of you to focus on.
In leadership, we sometimes think or feel that solutions need to be this magical, monumental, elaborate "thing," and that's where I see so many leaders fail.
If you want to be an extremely effective leader, then make sure to remember this next part.
When people have confidence in themselves, they can withstand and outwork most of the problems they face.
The problems they can't beat the majority of the time are the ones they create in their mind.
A person's confidence can be the difference maker in achieving ultimate success or hitting rock bottom.
A leader who can help their leaders or employees gain confidence and work through challenging situations that highlight their abilities in positive ways finds themselves on the side of victory more often.
So, that one thing your team might be missing?
Confidence.
Are you focused on taking your leadership development to the next level?
Also, don't miss out on grabbing your copies of Dustin's bestselling leadership series of books and the brand-new workbook!
Book Links:
Learn to Lead by Serving: https://a.co/d/dsgJQFj
Learn to Lead by Serving 2: https://a.co/d/isIeTRR