Confidence in the face of loneliness 🚀

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Cherishing a moment of solitude is one thing; feeling the weight of loneliness is another. I know I've certainly felt the longing and urge to connect with others more lately (particularly as someone who works at home on my own most days). Yet when it came time to join my local running club recently—I promptly talked myself out of going: I'll be too slow next to the other runners. What if we don't click as a group? What if...What if...?

The thing about loneliness is that it can make you feel disconnected, isolated, or even invisible. And you don’t need to be physically alone to experience it. You could be in the middle of Times Square and still feel overwhelmed by loneliness. Or sitting next to a distant and distracted partner, unsure of how to close the emotional gap. 

Other times, loneliness is the result of extended periods without human contact (yes, I'm looking at you, remote workers)!

For the record, loneliness is a common emotion that everyone experiences—with 60% of American adults reporting feeling it. It’s when the emotion lingers that it can spiral into deeper mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and unhealthy coping habits.

So how do we overcome a creeping sense of loneliness? Building self-confidence and understanding what obstacles may be standing in our way of connection are powerful first steps.

Quick Confidence Tips for Overcoming Loneliness:

1. Embodied: Disconnect to reconnect. When those initial feelings of loneliness crop up, it's easy to retreat to the digital world. It may seem like a harmless distraction, but watching endless images of people living their “best lives” on TV, Instagram, or via that web series, may actually amplify your feelings of loneliness. Instead of reaching for your phone or remote control, consider writing in your journal or taking a walk in your town (and being open to saying hello to familiar faces). You could also reach out to even one individual - a sibling or other family member, a friend who just started a new job who you could check on, or someone you've fallen out of touch with recently. This break from "digital noise" gives you an opportunity to either introspect, process your thoughts, or reignite 1-2 important connections.
2. Interpersonal: Say “Yes!” to activities with friends. Low self-esteem and fear of rejection might stop us from accepting invitations but overcoming these fears starts with small steps. Do you usually say no to invites by coworkers to attend happy hour? (Guilty 🙋) It may be time for a self-check-in: When was the last time you accepted an invitation? Can’t remember?! Then it may be time to say "Yes!" Remember, this doesn’t mean you need to be the last one standing on the dance floor, just go for an hour or two. By pushing yourself to engage in social activities, you not only build your confidence but also open doors to new friendships and experiences. Every interaction is a chance to strengthen your sense of belonging.
3. Mindset: Bring a growth mindset to connecting with others. Maybe it's the isolation talking, but have you ever noticed that we can turn our loneliness on ourselves? For example, with my running club scenario, I "downvoted" myself before I even gave things a chance. So instead of being harsh or thinking "Something's wrong with me" or "Why don't I have more friends?", bring a friendlier, more encouraging mindset. You might say to yourself, "I'm nervous about joining that new club today, but by taking even one small step to learn more or get involved, I'm going to get braver and open up new doors." Just because something feels foreign or scary today, doesn't mean it's going to feel that way next time.

The journey to overcome loneliness involves more than just surrounding ourselves with people; it’s about building ourselves up and nurturing meaningful connections with the world. It’s also about understanding our own needs and emotions, and being willing to "try out" new relationships and activities that could resonate with us. 

Have you found unique ways to combat loneliness? I’d love to hear your story! Leave a comment below and join our conversation.

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