Conflicts

At times, parting ways is inevitable. If you must part ways with someone, do so honorably. Conflicts are inevitable but fighting and parting ways is optional. We conflict simply because we’re different and we see things from our perspective. How you resolve conflicts reveals your maturity level. The success of your marriage or professional life depends on how you resolve conflicts.

Don’t assume time will sort out issues. Time does not cure conflicts. Every unresolved issue eventually resurfaces. The quality of your life depends on how you resolve conflicts. The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. Stability cannot be achieved by force, threats or ultimatums. Peace is achieved by understanding. We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.

Don’t lose you mind if your partner cheats on you. It’s people like your partner who cheat. There’s nothing new under the sun. Don’t sink into depression because someone is not talking to you. Don’t lose your sleep because someone’s performance is pulling yours down. Don’t lose your head when you disagree with your boss. Remain calm when your parents or in-laws call you names. But don’t ignore the issues.

Identify and specify what is irritating you. Be humble enough to initiate a conversation to resolve the conflict. Resolving the conflict does not necessarily mean reconciling with someone. You can agree to part ways. Don’t tolerate abuse from anyone – whether at home or in your place of work. Your life does not depend on anyone. Apologizing without resolving issues encourages recurrence of the offence.

Listening, empathy and respect are paramount in resolving conflicts. But most conflicts occur because these three virtues lack. If you can’t listen to one another objectively, agree on a neutral mediator who’ll bring a third-party perspective and help you to listen to one another. Remember you don’t hate each other. Resolving issues is easier than dissolving your relationship.  

DR. K. N. JACOB.