Congratulations parents, it's a ....

It has been a slow day and I am bored, so I thought I would change my gender. And apparently there are 72 new ones to choose from. Especially if you live in California. And no matter what gender I pick, Justin Trudeau has made it illegal to tell me that I am a confused idiot.

1. Agender – Genderless, no identity or sense of self with regard to gender. 2. Androgyne – A gender identity that is a combination of both male and female genders. 3. Androgynous – Having qualities of both male and female genders.  4. Bigender – Experiencing two distinct gender identities, either simultaneously or varying between the two. 5. Cisgender – A gender identity where the person’s assigned gender at birth matches their felt and experienced gender. 6. Genderfluid – A gender identity that shifts over time between male, female, and any other gender identities. 7. Genderqueer – A gender identity that is neither male nor female, but may be either, both, or something else entirely. 8. Intergender – A gender identity that falls between male and female, and may also include a combination of both. 9. Neutrois – A gender identity that is neutral or null, with no sense of gender or lack thereof. 10. Non-binary – A gender identity that is neither male nor female. 

Global warming is what I blame for all this gender fluidity. For example, whether or not reptiles grow up female or male depends on the incubation temperature of their eggs, which is governed by the ambient temperature of their environment.    Higher temperatures produce more females. But in between the "male" and "female" temperatures there has to be a thermostat setting where even the turtles themselves aren't sure which way they are going to turn out. And so maybe they end up somewhere in the middle?  (And if their bodies are confused, maybe their minds are too?)

11. Pangender – An all encompassing gender identity that encompasses all genders. 12. Transgender – A gender identity that is different from the one assigned at birth. 13. Transsexual – A gender identity that has been surgically changed or altered to match the person’s felt and experienced gender. 14. Transvestite – A person who cross-dresses, wearing clothes and accessories of another gender. 15. Two-Spirit – A gender identity that encompasses both male and female aspects, traditionally used by Indigenous Americans. 16. Aporagender – A gender identity that is partially or mostly outside of the gender binary. 17. Autigender – A gender identity that is specific and unique to the individual. 18. Bigenderfluid – Experiencing two gender identities, with the ability to fluctuate between them. 19. Demifluid – Having a gender identity that is partially fluid, with some aspects of the gender identity being static. 20. Demigirl – A gender identity where the person partially identifies as a girl or woman.

And all of these gender flavors have nothing to do with sexual orientation, which is another matter entirely. Gender identity is how you think of yourself. Sexual orientation is who you lust after. Which we can figure out using eyes and penises.  

21. Demiboy – A gender identity where the person partially identifies as a boy or man. 22. Femfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that changes between feminine genders. 23. FTM – Female-to-Male, a person who was assigned female at birth but identifies as male. 24. Girlflux – A gender identity where the person’s gender fluctuates between feminine genders. 25. Genderflux – A gender identity where the person’s gender fluctuates between all genders.  26. Gender Neutral – A gender identity that is neither male nor female, but can include a combination of both. 27. Gender Nonconforming – A gender identity that does not conform to traditional gender roles or expectations. 28. Graygender – Experiencing an indefinite or fluctuating gender identity that is neither male nor female. 29. Intersex – A gender identity where the person has both male and female physical and/or biological characteristics. 30. Masculinflux – A gender identity where the person’s gender fluctuates between masculine genders. 

The method is a lot like a lie detector test, but with free porn. Subjects are hooked up to biometric sensors, and then shown a variety of erotic imagery. Meaning lots of kinky sex. (But it is in the name of science.) Meanwhile, measurements are made of the subject's involuntary reactions. (I wonder if they have goat porn - gotta have that inclusivity!)  

31. MTF – Male-to-Female, a person who was assigned male at birth but identifies as female. 32. Nonbinaryfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between genders that are neither male nor female. 33. Polygender – Experiencing multiple gender identities, either simultaneously or varying between them. 34. Third Gender – A gender identity that is neither male nor female, but is distinct from both. 35. Trigender – Experiencing three distinct gender identities, either simultaneously or varying between them. 36. Transfeminine – A gender identity that is feminine but not female. 37. Transmasculine – A gender identity that is masculine but not male. 38. Transsexualfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between genders that are neither male nor female. 39. Agenderfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between genderless and another gender. 40. Androgynousfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between androgynous and other genders.

When a person sees some video footage that they like, their pupils dilate. And their penis ( if they have one ) starts to enlarge. Even very subtle enlargements can be detected and measured by a device called a "penile plethysmograph". The eyes never lie, and the penis always tells the truth.

41. Bigenderfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between two genders.  42. Cisfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between cis and trans genders. 43. Genderfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between multiple genders. 44. Gender Neutral Fluidity – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between gender neutral and other genders. 45. Intergenderfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between intergender and other genders. 46. Neutroisfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between neutrois and other genders.   47. Nonbinaryfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between nonbinary and other genders. 48. Pangenderfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between pangender and other genders. 49. Polygenderfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between multiple genders. 50. Transfemininefluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between transfeminine and other genders. 

The penis tests are helpful for those who are in denial. Which seems to be fairly common. For example, the Canadian Blood Service used to have a questionnaire that asked men if they were homosexual. For some reason a high percentage of men who had only had sex with other men in the preceding year would answer "no".   So the question has now been changed to "Have you had sex with another man in the past year?"

51. Transmasculinefluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between transmasculine and other genders. 52. Transfluid – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between trans and other genders. 53. Agenderflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between genderless and other genders. 54. Androgynousflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between androgynous and other genders.   55. Bigenderflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between two genders. 56. Cisflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between cis and trans genders. 57. Genderflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between multiple genders. 58. Gender Neutral Flux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between gender neutral and other genders. 59. Intergenderflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between intergender and other genders. 60. Neutroisflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between neutrois and other genders. 

Environmental pollutants known as Endocrine Disrupting Compounds have been doing everything from crashing the sperm counts of human males to increasing the number of homosexual frogs. And if it does that to frogs, it is possible that a similar mechanism is contributing to some of the gender confusion that is happening in modern society.

61. Nonbinaryflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between nonbinary and other genders. 62. Pangenderflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between pangender and other genders. 63. Polygenderflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between multiple genders. 64. Transfeminineflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between transfeminine and other genders. 65. Transmasculineflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between transmasculine and other genders. 66. Transflux – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between trans and other genders. 67. Apothic – Experiencing a gender identity that is a combination of two or more genders. 68. Neutroisgender – A gender identity that is both genderless and nonbinary. 69. Autigender – A gender identity that is specific and unique to the individual. 70. Fluidgender – Experiencing a gender identity that fluctuates between two or more genders. 71. Neutrogynous – A gender identity that is both gender-neutral and androgynous. 72. Quoigender – A gender identity that is defined by the individual and cannot be labeled

Each of the above gender identities may eventually have their own pronouns  he/his, she/hers they/theirs  zee/ zares., etc. Although gender is apparently just a social construct, which is liquid and changeable, and immune to definition anyway. Despite the fact that they have just given themselves 72 definitions.

 According to the Canadian Human Rights Act, everyone has the right to be free from discrimination based on gender identity or gender expression. The Act states that it is a discriminatory practice to “refuse to refer to a person by their self-identified name and proper personal pronoun, as determined by the person that corresponds to the person’s gender identity.”

 Which is why I go by "Doc" most of the time. Less headaches!

1. And I almost forgot - there are two more genders: (1) Male (2) Female

Boring, but true.  More about this will be in my upcoming "Penisology" book.

Has anyone seen my frog?