Connection, Integrity, and Authenticity: What Cannot Change

Over the past year, I’ve had more than enough opportunity to look at some old writing, revisit it, post-it, and evaluate where I am in this shifting literacy landscape.  What I find repeatedly, looking at writing are are upwards of a decade old, is that many things stay the same. My revisions are somewhat enjoyable because it’s like I started a thought five or more years ago and today, can pick up where I left off. Part of this is because some things don’t change, which raises a number of questions in itself. Another reason is that I have answers for things I didn’t know. What were exploratory thoughts then became the more developed (albeit imperfect) anecdotes they are today.

This vignette was developed for “I Hate Reading.” It was supposed to be part of the conclusion. An ending thought of hope, maybe comfort. Over the past few days, as I reread this piece, I thought of where I was and where I am now. How students like Nick existed then, as they do now.

What stands out to me most is the idea that I believed Nick could simply become a better reader with some elbow grease, affirmation, and support. At the time, as an intermediate-grade teacher, I wasn’t thinking about phonics, dysteachia, executive functioning, or listening comprehension. The idea was to promote reading. If students could just integrate reading into their lives, all would be well.

This means, if you’re reading this bear with me. The vignette itself could be completely rewritten, at some point. In the meantime, please consider this moment, inspired by actual reading conferences.

Conferring with Nick I asked, “Do you believe I can help you become a reader.”  He nods, “yeah.”

Mr. Stygles: Are you just saying that, or do you actually think it?

Nick: I don’t know.  I mean, you are the reading teacher. You’re supposed to help be do better as readers.”

Mr. Stygles: Hold on, who said you needed to become a better reader?

Nick: I don’t know. I’ve always been bad at reading. And you. Everyone says we have to read so much in your class. I can’t do that.

Mr. Stygles: Ok. Did I say anything about becoming a better reader?

Nick: No, but that’s what everyone says I need to do.

Mr. Stygles: What are your thoughts on that?

Nick: What do you mean?

Mr. Stygles: I mean, ‘everyone’ says you need to do better at reading. What does that mean to you?

Nick: “I don’t know. I never really thought about it. I just do what they say. I don’t care. All they will do is tell me I didn’t do good enough, again, so why bother?

Mr. Stygles: So, let’s go back to my question, ‘Do you believe I can help you become a reader?”

Nick: Shrugs his shoulder.  “Maybe. How are you any different than anyone else? I mean, you can try. But I doubt it cause there’s no way I can literally read that many books.

Mr. Stygles: Let me alter the question.  ‘Do you want to become a reader?’

Nick: Yeah.

Mr. Stygles: What does that mean?

Nick: Yeah, I want to read better. I don’t like how it’s hard to figure out words. I don’t like how it literally takes forever to read a book.  I don’t like that other people can read better than me.

Mr. Stygles: Man!  Sounds like you carry a lot of angst. Do you know what angst me?

Nick: No.

Mr. Stygles: Angst is like bitterness. I bit lower, if you will, than anger.

Nick: I guess so.

Mr. Stygles: What do you think it takes to become a reader?

Nick: Reading more books?

Mr. Stygles: Do you know how to read?

Nick: Huh?  Duh?  You read the words on the page.

Mr. Stygles: “Maybe.” I say smiling because I’m apologetic for slightly patronizing Nick’s intelligence. “I mean, do you know how to manage yourself as a reader, meaning explore your book options, use strategies as a reader, make time, or use time successfully to read?

Nick: Huh?  I only read because I have to.  I just read what the teacher tells me to read.

Mr. Stygles: Let me ask you again, ‘Do you want to become a reader?”

Nick: Mr. Stygles you’re confusing me.

Mr. Stygles: Why?

Nick: I already read what I have to. I may not read every night, so what else do I have to do?

Mr. Stygles: Well, it’s not necessarily what you have to do, it’s how and what you do for yourself. You see Nick, despite what everyone says about ‘Mr. Stygles makes you read forty books the truth of it is it’s not about me making you read, it’s about you choosing to say, “I want to read.”  Sure, I might get a bit upset if you don’t read it. Yes, I might ‘pester’ you about your reading, but I only do it because I want to see you become a reader. Then again, it’s not what I want, I can’t force you, but I will ask you what you are doing to care for yourself as a reader.”

Nick: Umm… are you saying you’re trying to trick me into reading?

Mr. Stygles: Ha!  That’s kind of funny.  I didn’t look at it like that.

Nick: Then why do you want me to read?

Mr. Stygles: Like I said, it’s not about me wanting you to read; it’s about adding a special dimension to your life that will help you gain knowledge and experience, plus give you something to believe in about yourself.

Nick: Whoa, You’re being sus.

Mr. Stygles: Why?

Nick: ‘Cause no one’s ever talked to me like this before.  They always just say, here’s what you’re going to read, then they make me read aloud.  Not even my mom cares if I read. She just signs the reading log, so I don’t go to detention.

Mr. Stygles: Well. Let’s change this.  Let’s make this about you.

Now that you’ve made it this far, I hope you can agree this was a fine pep talk. I’m not sure it taught anything in the end. Maybe complicity. Maybe Nick felt motivated to believe (even if it’s not apparent what his challenges are). Part of me goes back to the Shanahan on Literacy blog from September 28, 2019. I hate to say it, but with a vignette like this, I can see his point. We didn’t deal with comprehension or reading skills at all. We didn’t even consider executive functioning.

That doesn’t mean all is for naught.  Post-COVID, the disconnect between students and their teachers, reading, and how reading is defined, has created barriers that could have probably been avoided.  What’s essential in this dialogue is the interpersonal bridge - that is trusting relationship, the mentor/apprenticeship, and the belief that the student is valued by the adult from whom they respect, exists.  At this point, it’s not about skills, it’s about the relationship.  I am afraid we are losing this.  Whether it be whole class reading programs, artificial intelligence, or “I Hate Reading!” (among other things), what can never change, be it via small groups, small conversations, or conferring, is fostering the belief that the student is valued for who they are and the belief with have or instill in them. All students, maturing readers, deserve the “Look what I did!” moment, not the “I’m done. What should I do now?”

It will always be about connection, integrity of relationships, and authenticity before anything else.