Consensus 2023- It's Showtime. A first-timers experience in one of the largest Crypto and Web 3 - meetups

I pull up to the I-35 underpass, one of downtown Austin's cheapest parking places. Homeless people are everywhere and ask you for money, but they seem harmless. Otherwise, it's looking in the apps to find where I can find somewhere to park for under $30 a day and finding out I missed some fine print after parking all day that will cost me more than the sign said. There are a couple of parking spots left, so I pull up, even though I'm parked behind someone's tent.

I hike across the parking with some homeless lady walking barefoot toward me. Some signs say they aren't allowed to bother you, but they will ask for money anyway. I usually carry small bills and Kind bars (for me), but happy to share with someone who needs them more than I do. Some people are grateful for the food. Others hate you for offering because they want money. I remember that I forgot to go to the bank. I tell her I don't have money. I evade the many homeless people lying on the streets, sleeping or trying to anyway. 

I picked up my badge at Hilton and was surrounded by men with international accents - Italian, Australian, and Japanese. They wait an unnatural amount of time for me to enter the elevator first. I oblige, then they wait for me to exit first. That was nice.

People come from all over the world to be here. Then I head to the Austin Convention Center, where the conference occurs. On the way, I see a sign that says, "Welcome to Your Tribe." Maybe...one day.

Everything happens in the main ballroom: the stages, sponsor booths, and official happy hour parties. It's like a mini niche SXSW. I love that because you see the same people repeatedly, so you get to know them better. While I love SXSW, everything is serendipitous, and it seems unlikely you'll meet the same people twice without planning for it.

I left the center for a nearby coffee shop hosting an unofficial event sponsored by EDU DAO with a breakfast buffet. EDU is for education, and DAO is a decentralized autonomous organization. There are so many DAOs, and they are like decentralized non-profits. I wonder how organized they are because non-profits aren't the most organized places. Add on decentralization? It seems like a recipe for disorganization, but maybe it's because I'm unfamiliar with it. 

I spoke with a guy from Norway and asked him how that compares to Holland since one of my mentors is from Holland. He tells me they are different countries. Holland is the Netherlands. He is from Norway. Welp. I apologize for embodying the American stereotype. He says they aren't like the States; they are all separate countries. Then we go back to talking about DAOs because I thought they were some software program for crypto. 

I sit across from another guy who introduces himself to me in mid-conversation with someone else. I don't understand what he's saying, even though he's speaking English, because crypto has its vocabulary. DAOs, blockchain, immutability, NFTs, and the more technical jargon software developers usually use are all home here. Still, I follow along and google what I can. While I have taken several programming classes, I was a pre-comp sci major at one point; it's been over a decade since I've coded or been in that world, even though I sell to IT departments for a day job. 

He had that Unabomber look, rocking longer hair, flannel, and a ball cap. He tells the person he's conversing with that he's a speaker at the conference. Later, I see him onstage. He's a Harvard professor and a lawyer talking about using laws that govern trusts for the blockchain. I envied the freedom of looking however he wanted, getting up the stage and still exuding authority and presence. 

These could be my people. They're weird and insanely smart. They're risk-takers. Or maybe I'm just fascinated with shiny things. I like that many speakers don't look like motivational coaches, although diversity's still severely lacking.

I head over to a Women in Web taco meet-up because the tacos at the DAO were salty, and I'm watching my salt intake. I meet some friendly people from Manhattan, a fifty-something investor and CTO, and some of his business partners. We eat tacos and talk about the blockchain and how beautiful the NFTs in the gallery are. I know very little about the blockchain or that there are several at this point. All I know is immutability from a previous party. So when he explains he does financial auditing for the blockchain, I get a deer-in-headlights look. He sees it and decides to dive deeper. Whenever I give him a blank look, he breaks down the sentences even simpler. I don't have time for that. I'm done with my tacos and want to get a start on my day, so I wave them off.

I had all my sessions marked but didn't realize how many sponsor booths there were. Many had cute giveaways:

• Water bottles
• The highly-sought after bucket hats
• T-shirts with cute sayings and cute designs

Some gave away stuffed animals, and even fewer gave away free crypto. Those booths were really popular. I brought my Solana bag because it was my biggest tote bag. It was full of freebies by the end of every day, and I was selective because I work in tech and get freebies often. 

I decided against attending the sessions because I had the Pro pass and was told that today had fewer people and that it would get crazy the next couple of days. The sessions are available after the conference, so I decided to watch them virtually. After all, I didn't know enough to ask intelligent questions during the live Q&As, so attending would not be an added benefit. 

I spend too long in line speaking to someone from England and his Austin business partner as we wait for our NFT rings. The ring has an embedded microchip that you can use, like Apple Pay, or tap credit cards (Recap: More than 750 OneBand NFT rings distributed at Consensus 2023 - Neo News Today. You'd tap the ring. Then you can go from booth to booth collecting NFTs. The onboarding process for those rings is brutal. Each one takes 20 plus minutes; This is an accepted challenge in crypto and Web 3. The onboarding process could be faster. I request a green ring because I heard that's how people advertise they are single these days. I am in a conference of thousands of people, 80% men; I figured it couldn't hurt. It was a way better pool than what I've found online. 

Online dating has been death by a thousand boring DMs (direct messages). I'll write an article on it one day on a different platform. It's a horrible experience, is all I can say.

They tell me the computer assigned me a black one; I can't pick the color. Fine. I scan a bunch of QR codes and get 12 words given to me, which, if I don't remember, I will lose everything in the app forever. Web 3 is not for me. How are you organizing all the 12 words from every app? I'm terrible at passwords. Now I need to remember 12 words too?

I get my new NFT ring, and I'm showing it off. Yeah, I got a Neo. I go to collect the NFTs and am trying to figure out what I'm doing. The booth guys are too busy explaining their product, so I wonder if I'm even collecting the NFTS I'm supposed to be. I go to the shirt place, and she tells me I'm not collecting them. Something is wrong. Their shirt isn't that great, so abandon the NFT collecting. 

I go on a quest to visit every booth and to understand the eco-system: web 3, crypto, marketplaces, blockchains, everything. Also, to limit my swag to the good stuff. Some explain what they do. Some go way over my head with technical explanations. Others don't seem to know what they do and offer me swag. There are many security firms (hackers), auditing/financial firms, and apps. The app developers specialize in online gaming, marketplaces, and web three infrastructure, it seems. (Game developers have the best swag).

I go to the Pro pass lounge, which has free Bavarian pretzels with hot mustard for lunch, then fruit cups for dessert. I stop in there periodically to see if anything besides cookies and brownies is left. 

One of the booths where everyone dresses in robes and has its space made into a "home," Olliv feeds everyone at happy hour with pizza, nachos, and ice cream because crypto is for "Olliv" us. They are an app wallet, so you can store all of your crypto in their app. 

By the end of the day, I was exhausted and missed a few of the unofficial events I signed up for. I plan on putting the swag in my car and handing Kind bars that I picked up at the conference to anyone that comes my way. A homeless man has a tantrum across the street. A sweet little Mexican woman checks on him. She's an angel because he scared most of us. He stops long enough to ask her for money. When she doesn't give him any, he continues screaming.

I decide to move my car. I don't want to deal with that after dark. Then I head to the opening party. There's no food although the DJ plays a good set. I'm hungry, so I decide to check out the d'Appy (digital apps) hour instead at the Fareground because I know it has food, whether it's free or I have to pay, at least I can eat.