Considering a move abroad? Prepare for a "duck with long neck".

Living in another country isn’t for the faint of heart. Who knew it could take an entire day just to locate, purchase and transport a kitchen-sized garbage can to a fourth floor Paris apartment?

Inconveniences aside, assimilating into new cultures, customs and ways of working while living abroad can make for a big, life changing adventure. I’m thinking of this as the calendar turns to August 1, and many of my European colleagues’ “out of office” messages say they’ll return in September. Yes, that’s a month of vacation.

For three years I led communications for Microsoft spanning Europe, the Middle East and Africa. I moved my family to Paris, embraced big-city living and managed people across a region as diverse as they come. Finding an apartment, getting the internet working, settling kids into school, getting a French driver’s license - while traveling, hiring, and handling issues for a multi-national company - required working new muscles in my brain about “normal”. Getting through the first few months took open mindedness, networking, observing and learning fast.

Professional success at this point, having made such a big move, very much depended on what I was willing to learn personally. More on the professional front in a future post. Looking back, I shared many life-changing experiences with family, friends and co-workers, and had a lot of conversations about the special DNA of people who venture out into the unknown for assignments abroad.

Here are a few insights and points to consider if you’re mulling such a move:

Yes, you’ve been dropped on Mars. Think you’ll just pick up where you left off? Wrong! You are the alien, and you’d best adapt fast. I remember scheduling a meeting at 8am and getting no acceptances. Where was everybody? Let’s get things moving! Even though I still worked for the same American tech company where I’d just left headquarters weeks ago, it turned out meetings in Europe are pretty much taboo before 9am. So I learned to enjoy an espresso at the local standup bar on my walk to the office, cheer and cringe at TV highlights of the night before’s soccer matches, and make up for the “late” start with everyone else, by working through dinner hour. A similar lesson was learned about Sunday errands. Think you’re going to the hardware store, in France, on a Sunday? Think again! Practically all retail is closed on Sundays so forget that as your ultimate to do list day. Go get on your bike, open up that Julia Child cookbook, or picnic with your neighbors. You will join every other French extended family (and your co-workers) doing the same thing (that applies to the entire month of August, too…and then there are January holidays in Russia, all flavors of religious holidays, bank holidays, and periodic strikes depending on the country). Life moves differently and so does work.

Your customers are different. Even if you’re selling the same products, and if your target seems relatively “the same”, your customer’s context is different. Whether it’s use of public transportation, using only a mobile phone for internet access, living together with extended family, tipping a waiter or lunch-time customs, life is different here. One of the first things my son had to do when starting his new school in France was to spend an hour at a Paris café, observing, making notes, and writing an essay about how life in Paris compared to “home”. What a great exercise for anyone in this situation! How interesting that all six people, at a table with three couples, ordered dessert. Is there anyone I see who isn’t smoking a cigarette? How (and why) do all Parisian women (choose to) walk on cobblestones with high heels? Why is everyone on their phone when they come out of the Metro? These may sound like trivial details, but if you’re a marketer, they’re critical. Snap in to observe-and-learn mode, and you’ll start to accept and adapt. (I know I quickly fell in to the norm and ordered dessert as much as possible – and while I didn’t succumb to wearing high heels on my 25 minute walk to work, I did make sure my Adidas commuters were a flashy and fashionable silver).

Your language doesn’t always speak volumes. Plain English. The expression alone implies clarity. But imagine how your experience might improve as you learn to communicate locally, and colloquially. Our first Christmas in Paris, romance got the best of us and we decided to have a traditional Christmas goose. My daughter and I went to the local butcher, where the French frequently line up on a Friday afternoon; but we realized when we got there that we didn’t know the French word for goose. So after a fair bit of conferring, we decided to ask for a “duck with long neck”. The butcher looked at us quizzically, and returned with a goose – fully feathered, with a hook in its beak. While we claimed success (aside from my daughter becoming a short-term vegetarian that day) we were lucky that a clunky translation worked and we brought home dinner. Vocabulary aside, as it turns out, there are things you cannot express in English like you can in native languages. If you’re interested in a few French examples, here’s a sampler. The bottom line is, if you’re gutsy enough to move to another country, be smart/ambitious/curious enough to learn the language. You won’t regret it. You’ll be invited for an afternoon aperitif by neighbors, your colleagues will be humored, and you’ll be amazed what you’ll learn simply by striking up a conversation with a taxi driver.

Laugh it off. The last piece of advice is to relax and enjoy the ride. Undoubtedly you will be frustrated by new rules, lack of services, inability to execute on old traditions. Our first year in France we had a pork roast with figs for Thanksgiving dinner. Unable to find a turkey, that’s just what happened. Seems like a small thing but we always, always “go big” on that special day. By year two we discovered Paris’ beloved-by-expats American grocery, aptly named “Thanksgiving”, and made a trek there for canned sweet potatoes, a bag of eight dollar marshmallows, and other things that by year three, we realized we didn’t even need or want. Patiently asking yourself what really matters, embracing new discoveries and the frustrating “lack of…” equally, and keeping a sense of humor will keep you sane. You’ll need it when protesting agricultural workers barricade a major boulevard with hay bales during rush hour, and you’re forced to stop and, well, have a croissant. Remember – the little discoveries and ability to be local, keeps this life interesting.

There’s no doubt that moving to another country, settling in and settling others, and taking on all the unique challenges of a new job at once can be daunting. In some cases, especially at work if you’re leading people and working hard while trying to stay sane, you just have to fake it ‘till you make it. But with the right sense of adventure, humor, and open mindedness, it will be the experience of a lifetime – both on and off the resume!

I’d love to hear your questions or expat experiences in the comments section, or on Twitter @frenchfreak.