Controlling Your Temper – and So Much More
If you sometimes feel like exploding with rage, don’t worry. You’re not alone. There’s increasing evidence that more and more people are experiencing levels of stress that can easily lead to outbursts of anger, frustration and full-blown fury. We’re certainly living in challenging times and we’re no longer taught the self-control of earlier generations who were expected to exercise restraint in their emotional responses. In fact, it’s become more socially acceptable to shout and scream in public, to give vent to a tantrum, to behave like toddlers, even if the outbursts are very uncomfortable for those who have to witness the drama. We’re led to believe that free expression is somehow healthier. The evidence, however, does not support this claim. Outbursts of anger tend to lead to more outbursts of anger. And no one feels better after losing their temper. The ripples of such an outburst can be felt long after the episode has passed.
The ancient teachings remind us that a state of calm in the face of difficulty is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves. It’s a behaviour that we can cultivate each day and a powerful antidote to the stresses of modern life. Moreover, the benefits touch every aspect of our lives. We feel stronger, more balanced, more confident. Our metabolism improves. Our energy levels increase. Our sleep improves. Our creativity increases. We look younger, healthier, fitter. When we turn down the stress hormones by cultivating an oasis of calm, our view of the world shifts and appreciates a broader perspective. We’re easier to live with.
The secret to this wonderful gift is surprisingly simple. Learn to breathe more deeply. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw muscles. Pause before you react. Take a moment to consider how you’d prefer to respond. Inner peace and tranquility are priceless gifts that should not be cast aside. Losing one’s temper is, after all, a sign of someone out of control. It used to be considered a sign of weakness. Living each moment from a place of calm is a strong indicator of emotional maturity. You’ll make better choices, wiser decisions and arrive at more balanced conclusions.
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Controlling your temper isn’t simply a question of suppressing your feelings and pretending that everything’s fine when you’re seething with rage. Rather, it’s a way to channel your emotional energy more productively and break free from a harmful habit that serves no useful purpose. It’s worth recalling the ancient definition of anger as a way of making yourself suffer for someone else’s mistakes.