Cope with it tactfully !
(Courtesy : The Economic Times)

Cope with it tactfully !

"There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it “retirement.” I call it “bliss.”

Betty Sullivan

The first step towards coping with retirement blues is to start by understanding that retirement, like any other change, involves a transition. To many of us it may not feel good at first. The following simple steps can help you moving away from disappointment about some unrealized dream, to feeling happy with whatever you actually possess.

As with any stage of life, we can get so distracted by what we think we should be doing to keep up with the relatives, friends and neighbours that we lose sight of what we really want. Instead of trying to replicate someone else's plans, we need to wrestle with the wide-open question of what really matters to you. The temporary discomfort of not knowing is better than realizing, 10 years from now, that you never got around doing things that were high in your bucket-list.

After decades of waking up to an alarm clock, it may feel luxurious to have no particular place to go, but we are creatures of habit. The sudden lack of structure can become exhausting, unsettling or even depressing. Create a mini-work day, scheduling activities: for example, one hour each for exercise, housework, errands, and your social media time. Then let the day flow from there. You have the flexibility to follow the schedule in the morning or in the afternoon. Either way, you have a sense of accomplishment, and will have done things you needed to do. This is important after a full work life.

Remember when you were miserable in college and everyone said, “What's wrong with you? These are supposed to be the happiest days of your life.” Just as those clueless bystanders didn't know what you needed then, they don’t know now either. So don’t feel disturbed by the myth of the golden years. Like any other stage of life, there are adorable and wonderful things and there are challenges too.

Cut on your worry time. Roosevelt said, "It takes as much time to worry as it does to plan." Sure, there are some realistic concerns—like not having enough money or getting sick—but don't confuse worrying about a problem with working on a problem.

Compartmentalize worrying, if you must—for example, by making an appointment for five minutes each day to consider the most unpleasant scenarios. Then take more productive steps, like meeting with a financial planner and reading up on health planning options.

Avoid facing everything alone. Social support is essential for good mental health. Chances are in retirement, you have more time for friendship, if you have friends (if not, make some now). If most of your socializing in the past happened through work, it's time to explore other possibilities: sports, seminars, cooking programmes, travel or visit to nearby mall. In the process, you will meet other people, who are going through the same thing. Together, you might even find that you can enjoy retirement.

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