Could the answer to your sanity be in a Question?

One of the biggest frustrations leaders often share with me is: “My team constantly comes to me for answers, and it drives me crazy.”

If this sounds familiar to you—or someone you know—you’re not alone. It’s a challenge that many leaders at all levels of leadership, parents, teachers, and mentors face. Whether you're managing a team, raising kids, educating students, or empowering others, it’s easy to feel stuck in a cycle where you’re the one solving all the problems.

Studies on dynamics and leadership styles tell us that while some people naturally hesitate to take the initiative, the real challenge usually lies with us!

Yep, that’s right, without meaning to, sometimes we unintentionally create a cycle of dependency.

And this cycle costs us. It costs us in time, and it usually costs our sanity! It can also limit our people’s learning, growth and problem-solving abilities.

So, how do we break this cycle and create team members, employees, peers, participants, kids, whomever it is that we serve to step up, take ownership, and show initiative?

The simple answer is by asking.

Research from Harvard Business School tells us that leaders who ask more questions are less stressed and better equipped to navigate challenges. It also reveals that leaders who ask questions develop stronger, more capable teams. Here’s why:

• Questions promote ownership: Asking, “What do you think we should do?” shifts the responsibility back to the individual.
• Questions build critical thinking: They encourage analysis and problem-solving, helping others to consider options they may not have explored.
• Questions develop confidence: When someone realises they’ve found the answer themselves, their confidence grows—and so does their initiative.

So, how do you make the shift from providing answers to asking questions?

3 Simple shifts to break the cycle.

1. Start with Curiosity

The next time someone comes to you with a problem, pause before offering a solution. Instead, ask:

“What have you already considered?”

“What options do we have?”

“If I wasn’t here, what would you do?”

These questions not only help the other person think through the problem but also signal that you trust their capability.

2. Let Silence do the heavy lifting.

Silence can feel awkward, but it’s an incredibly powerful tool. When you ask a question, resist the urge to jump in if the answer isn’t immediate. Give the other person space to process and respond. That pause can often lead to deeper reflection and better solutions.

3. Adopt a Coach-Like Mindset

Shifting from a directive approach to a coaching mindset takes practice, but it’s worth it. A coach-like leader helps their team build skills, confidence, and independence by guiding rather than solving. This doesn’t mean you never give direction—it means you balance support with empowerment.

The Payoff

When you shift from solving problems to asking questions, three significant things happen:

• Your workload decreases: Your team or people begin handling issues independently, freeing you to focus on bigger priorities.
• Your team or people thrive: They become more engaged, proactive, and capable, building their confidence and skills.
• Your leadership grows: Leaders who empower others are seen as visionary, effective, and inspiring.

Breaking the habit of answering everything won’t happen overnight, but with intentional practice, you’ll see a transformation—in your team, your workload, and your leadership.

To get you kick-started, What’s one question you can ask today instead of providing an answer?

I trust this has been helpful in some way, shape, or form.

Leadership Coach, Consultant, and Facilitator, passionate about unlocking the potential in leaders, teams, and organisations. Through personalised one-on-one coaching and interactive workshops—both in person and online—I offer simple, practical, and personally tested tools and techniques to help you lead with confidence and build a strong team culture.

If you are interested in learning more about what I do and how I might be able to help, please send me a direct message or email kylie@kyliepaatsch.com.au