Coward Campaign puts violent men on notice

In today's Sunday Telegraph an edited version of the following OpEd was published. The piece was cut down to 600 words in print, so I wanted to include the full text here as I thought it important to provide some of the commentary I noted from other thought leaders too.

For many years, the media has been lambasted by domestic violence academics and advocates for their portrayal of perpetrators as "good blokes" who simply snap when pushed too far. In fact a recent Australia's National Research Organisation for Women's Safety report on media representations of violence against women and their children picked up on a tendency in all media to render the perpetrator invisible, with 59.8% of incident based reporting including no information whatsoever about the perpetrator.

The way the media reports on violence against women matters as it helps shape the audience’s understanding of this reality, and shapes their responses to both victims and perpetrators.

Earlier this month, the Daily Telegraph launched a campaign that is a marked shift in approach. Their “Coward Campaign” aims at naming and shaming perpetrators and "changing the way we talk about one of the great scars on Australian society. Violence in our homes...What is needed is a major cultural change that sees Australia call out these hideous assailants and end their reign of terror.”

If nothing else, this has already lit a fire within the community and sparked far more discussion around the issue of gender based violence than many of the public service campaigns funded by taxpayers that have been created by major prevention agencies.

What’s been the response?

There’s been concern that the phrase "coward violence” perpetuates traditional gender norms about male courage and strength, and is unlikely to resonate the way switching from a King Hit to a Coward's Punch did.

There’s been fretting over whether depicting perpetrators of serious violence (men who had spat, chocked, kicked and stabbed their current or former partners) might make these men and other violent men like them feel ashamed. While it’s valid to question whether shame is conducive to learning, some of this discussion has seemed misguided at best.

It’s been heartening to see men share some of the articles and add their own comments without any of the usual “but not all men” disclaimers. Geoff Hart- Davies, CEO of the Stronger families Foundation, a group aimed at breaking the cycle of intergenerational violence, praised the shift in focus and acknowledged that family and domestic violence is largely a men’s issue.

But what much of the more critical dialogue seems to have ignored is the fact that the campaign has gone far beyond the initial calling out of those who would use coercion and violence to control those they once professed to love.

There has also been features with prominent and respected male sports stars calling men in and advising them to walk away, to seek help, to talk about their frustrations and fears with mates, and to take ownership of their own behaviour. I found footballer Alan Tongue admitting "We are all learning and we want to be better" particularly sincere and apt.

And as men’s behaviour change educator and former Muay Thai boxing champion Richie Hardcore shared with me, it is this type of direct response, delivered by men other blokes perceive as being strong, that does have the ability to change attitudes and behaviours, "Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good I say, and this is good!” he said.

It’s perhaps telling that despite lots of worry and angst over how abusive men might feel about this campaign, few have asked how the victim survivors of their abuse might be reacting to this sustained messaging condemning male violence.

Women's Community Shelters works with local communities to establish new safe crisis accommodation options for women and children. Within our network of eleven shelters and three transitional houses, last month alone we had 223 women and children stay in our care. This is the largest number we’ve housed to date. Many of these were fleeing violence.

We have noted a groundswell of support for this campaign from victim-survivors who have been sharing the Daily Telegraph articles on social media with comments of their own such as, “Finally!” and “It’s about time.”

On day three of the Coward Campaign we heard a very powerful story told by survivor Maggie. She spoke about the terror she experienced as a child growing up in a home with a violent Dad, “It was a weird environment growing up. As kids you don’t realise something is wrong, that it’s not normal to live in that kind of fear,” she said.

The Coward Campaign is not just the media fixing its critical gaze firmly where it belongs - on to perpetrators, rather than victims. It is also an attempt to share the stories of those who bear the brunt of this violence and lets their voices be heard. It shows young children just like Maggie that we think the current culture of violence is unacceptable, and that it is not normal for them be living in fear. It shouldn’t be normal that there is such a high demand for our shelter services. And it is certainly not normal that this year, an Australian woman is being violently killed every four days.

Men who feel otherwise have been put on notice.

P.S. I will note here too that I have no time for those who want to dismiss everything the Daily Tele does outright simply because they have an issue with the publication. The whole "Who even reads that rag?" snark makes my skin crawl. We need to stop speaking into echo chambers and thinking our clever little quips on social media (read only by people who already think the way we do) are going to change anything. As an educator, I have always wanted to reach the people who most need the message - and to meet them where they are at to slowly shift hearts and minds.