Critical Conversations: Talking to children about COVID-19

As we tread into our second year of dealing with a raging global pandemic, there’s little that’s left unchanged by the coronavirus. Everywhere we look, work, families and life at large are all touched by the ‘new normal’. While as adults there is a lot that we are grappling with, as a parent, coupled with the nature of my work, I can’t help but be drawn to the massive changes that children are faced with too. From living indoors to reduced contact with friends, there’s a lot that children have dealt with this past year.

Now, after the second wave of the pandemic, especially in India, families are seeing difficult times much closer to home. While these are hard circumstances for us adults to pull through, it becomes all the more confusing for growing children to make sense of what they are seeing around them. In such a case, how do we talk to our children about COVID-19?

As a mother, I have had to navigate this with my elder child too. While it wasn’t the easiest conversation to have, there were a few things I kept in mind that seemed to ease my son’s questions about the pandemic. I’d like to share these strategies with the larger parent community here. 

Offer assurance calmly

Children are usually quick to pick up on tone and look to parents to understand how they are supposed to feel. Which is why staying calm while talking to them about the pandemic can reassure them then and there. While talking about the actual issue, I try to offer realistic reassurance while focussing on what they have asked about. I’ve also found it’s easiest to navigate these conversations by leading with information that doctors recommend in staying safe. Mankind has always emerged stronger in the face of adversity, and this time too- we will come out stronger and better. 

Encourage questions

As parents, it’s important that we keep children informed and updated about what’s happening around them, I think this is true with the pandemic as well.  We don’t want our children to come out of this experience being fearful. Encouraging the “Why’s, the What’s and the When’s” goes a long way in ensuring that we are able to positively influence the next generation.  There is learning every step of the way and offering complex situations in easy bite-size packets makes it easier for children to decipher it!

 A depiction of the coronavirus made by my then six-year-old, using cotton buds and paint!

The human spirit is indomitable, and can overcome any adversity in its way. Children understand things a lot more clearly than we adults give them credit for. And if delivered the right way, they are capable of absorbing things quickly and taking the right decisions. 

Be honest about what you don’t know

Given how quickly situations change with COVID-19, if you don’t know the answer to your child’s questions, I think it’s best to admit it. Instead of reassuring them with false information (which they can easily counter with information online), or brushing the question off altogether, I think it’s best, to be honest, and admit when I don’t have the answer. Whenever possible, I’ve also tried to use this as an opportunity to find the answer together with my child. 

Reinforce what you are doing for safety

I’ve also found that it helps when I reinforce to my child what we, as a family, are doing to stay safe; and what are the things he can do to stay safe with his own personal hygiene. Reiterating that working and learning from home, not stepping out, washing hands regularly are all small steps towards safety is a helpful reminder for us too. I also try to use this time to ask my child what he already knows about COVID-19 safety measures - this gives me a starting point to help him brush up on what he’s forgotten and give him any new information necessary.

I also think it’s important to continue the conversation with children on COVID-19 once started. It may not be the easiest or most pleasant dialogue to have regularly, but in my experience, I think it’s better when children receive critical information from parents directly! It can help us, in turn, understand how much they know and what they might need help with.