Cross-Cultural Conversations: Why Do We Misunderstand Each Other?

by Dr. Ethan F. Becker President, The Speech Improvement Company

The topic of misunderstanding has many angles to discuss; it's hard to pick one — tone, choice of words, inflection, context, etc.

Let's look at teams that have members from other cultures. Now, remember, each group has its own culture, so when you see me use the word culture, it does not only mean different countries; it might mean other departments. The specific word I'll focus on for this discussion is IDIOM. 

Definition

 an expression in the usage of a language that is peculiar to itself either in having a meaning that cannot be derived from the conjoined meanings of its elements (such as up in the air for "undecided") or in its grammatically atypical use of words (such as give way) - Source: Merriam-Webster

While this may all sound like Latin to you, are we indeed that different in today’s modern world? Has the world changed that much? I like the topic of idioms because it's how many Americans and other cultures communicate. Without awareness, it can be highly confusing for individuals learning English as a second language or those visiting an American culture.

A less formal explanation is that an idiom is a collection of words that together convey a specific meaning, but if you look at each word, they have very different uses.

Examples

These are just a few. As professional speech coaches, we train teams on cross-cultural communication often. During training sessions, we want participants to learn that what makes sense to them may not make sense to someone else. The other person might understand each word, but the collection of words together may have a different meaning. They should be aware of what they are saying, how they are saying it, and confirm understanding.

Imagine your daily conversations at work. How fast do you talk? How much information do you cover during a meeting? You see, your listeners nod and smile. Your talk makes great sense (to you). They express visual responses of understanding when, in reality, they have no clue what you're saying. Then, you are surprised when the project comes out differently than expected.

Great communicators make an effort to maximize understanding. Perfect? No. However, we can improve our speech to communicate with clarity when we recognize the idioms that have become so ingrained into our speech. The sounds and words we use to communicate our thoughts can make perfect sense to us, but do they make sense to our listeners? If you use an idiom, try explaining it or consider how your listeners will or will not understand it. Give it some thought, and see how being more careful when communicating with people from other cultures does not improve.

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