The Dangers of Extremes: How to Embrace Life's Milestones Without Overcorrection

A huge problem in my day-to-day work is people living in thought processes that can become "extremes." Not only does this cause over corrections in the future, but it also causes us to miss out on key milestones in life with loved ones.

Oversaving: This is common in high performers, and it is very common to accumulate for the sake of accumulating. It sometimes becomes a game, a competition, even a measuring stick. What good is high performance if you can't take a step back and enjoy it? For these people, it is very hard to stop moving the goalpost. Maybe the goal is to make $100K, then $500K, then $1M, then $2M. The cycle will never stop unless you are intentional about it. Or moving your "number" from $2M, to $10M, to $20M. If you can't answer why you want to keep increasing your net worth goal, then you are probably accumulating to accumulate or working just to work.

A few pointers (learned from others):

1. If you can answer why you want to increase your net worth goal from $2M to $10M (just an example), then that is a good sign. If you can't, it's important to take a step back and ask yourself whether you are chasing financial growth for a clear purpose or simply out of habit or pressure from external influences.
2. Take time to define what "enough" looks like for you. What does your ideal life look like once you’ve hit that number? Does it mean more time with family, the ability to travel, or philanthropic endeavors? Setting a defined vision helps prevent constantly moving the goalpost, and it ensures that your actions align with your values. Not being able to answer this alone typically is the biggest catalyst to continued over accumulation. 
3. Prioritize experiences over endless accumulation. Studies show that happiness and life satisfaction often come from meaningful experiences—such as quality time with loved ones, learning new things, or contributing to a cause—rather than from material wealth. Don’t let extreme saving prevent you from living in the present and appreciating these moments.
4. Understand that wealth can provide security, but it shouldn’t define your worth. Too often, people tie their self-worth to their net worth, making it hard to ever feel “good enough” or satisfied. Recognize that true wealth is holistic: it encompasses financial health, yes, but also your relationships, mental well-being, and personal fulfillment.

On the flip side, some people fall into the opposite extreme—overspending—which can also create its own set of problems.

Overspending: While saving excessively can lead to a never-ending cycle of accumulation, overspending is the other extreme where people live beyond their means in search of immediate gratification. This creates long-term financial stress and prevents them from building a solid foundation for the future. In many cases, it stems from trying to keep up appearances or living up to societal expectations.

A few ways to avoid this extreme:

1. Create intentional spending habits: Ask yourself, "Am I buying this because it adds value to my life or because I’m trying to fill an emotional void?" Being mindful of your purchases can help you avoid falling into impulsive spending patterns.
2. Prioritize long-term financial health: It’s essential to strike a balance between enjoying your hard-earned money now and ensuring future security. Overspending today could mean sacrificing important goals like retirement, education, or leaving a legacy for your loved ones.

Do I have a magic formula to strike the balance? NO

But having continued financial reviews with a trusted advisor that asks tough questions, understands your goals, and keeps you accountable can ensure you don't fall out of balance. 

A good financial plan can really be summed up in one sentence. 

Maximize financial security today, tomorrow, and for loved ones, all while enjoying a present life and minimize financial regrets along the way.