Dare to Get in The Fight

For the past two weeks the majority of my conversations, outside of those with my clients, have been about those dealing with addiction. There have been rallies, 5K events and even a community meeting in my hometown about a new Rehabilitation Center. I have read or been told about these events, but have not been actively involved.

One of the conversations that stuck out most was with someone very dear to my heart, who had lost their brother to an overdose. She said that fighting addiction will not be important to some until they endure the pain of losing a loved one.

This made me think about the experiences I have had watching some who were close to me dealing with addiction. I remember walking into a friends apartment to find him on the floor, not knowing what was wrong until I saw the drug paraphernalia beside him. He had relapsed after 14 years, and by the Grace of God I had visited him that day and the overdose did not claim his life.

It also made me think about a very close family member who has had to battle the addiction demon. By God's grace she was able to win the battle and has been clean for many years. There was also another who is dear to me who has had her struggle with addiction. She did not come to mind at the time of the conversation, but I was soon to be reminded of her. 

As I was driving on a very beautiful Fall day, I saw a lady walking on a  road that was pretty heavily traveled. I immediately became concerned because it appeared that she was staggering or was for some reason off balance. I slowed down as I passed her just to make sure she was okay. I thought, she looks so familiar but I could not place her immediately. Finally as I was turning a corner on the same road, headed to the mall, I thought wow, could that be who I think it is. Could that be the mother of my nephews? They call me Auntie, but actually I am their cousin.

No, that was not her I tried to convince myself and kept heading to the mall. However, my  conscience would not let me carry on without actually going back to check on her. As soon as I pulled up beside her, she called my name and jumped in the car. Tears immediately filled my eyes. Life had certainly taken its toll on her.

"Where are you going? Why are you walking on this road?" I asked as I noticed her sweating. "I do not know where I am going. I think I was headed to my brother's on Tabler Station Road, but I really want to see my mother." I sat there for a minute in disbelief and then silently started to pray. She was not this far gone the last I had chatted with her, but perhaps I had seen her on one of her good days.

Tabler Station Road was at least 12 miles from where we were and there was no way she could walk that far in her condition. Then I noticed a hospital band on her arm and I realized that she was walking from the medical center that was just a couple miles up the road. "Why do you have a hospital band?" was my next question to her. She admitted that she had been in the hospital but had left against medical advice because, "they were not giving me what I needed."

"Let me take you back," I said to her and she screamed NO over and over again. She asked that I take her to her mother's and stated it was about six miles away.

We drove for what appeared to be an eternity and chatted about what had been going on in her life. She showed me a tattoo that had the initials WW and told me it was those of some man. I was starting to get a sick, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and began to pray silently for her again.

My thoughts went back to a time when her boys were young and she would leave them with me for days. Sometime when I had to go to work I had to go looking for her and one time found her in a manmade cave stoned out of her mind. This was some time ago; my nephews are now in their 30s and one has children of his  own.  Since that time she had also gotten better, had two more children and received her nursing degree. However, in looking at and listening to her now, there was no doubt that addiction had again taken ahold of her and had its grasp on her tighter than ever before.

After driving for several more miles, I asked her if she knew where we were. By that time she was acting very strange, grabbing my phone and them looking under the seat and in my glove compartment. She told me she was looking for a "packet" and there was a "pull off" place right around the corner. She then asked if I wanted her to "give me half of the money I had just spent" and I knew she was hallucinating. I looked at her questioningly and she asked that I pull off the road.  When I did, she thanked me for the ride and jumped out of the car.

I had no clue how to help her at this point, so I called a friend who works with those struggling with addiction.  He said "T, you must let her go. It is hard to tell what she has on her or what she is about to do. The best thing you can do is call her family and let them know where she is."  

As I made some calls and started driving back, I realized I had no clue where I was. But I was not only geographically lost, I was lost for words and the means to help someone that I loved.

During my drive what I realized was that I was in a perfect position to help fight this cause. No, I was not equipped to help someone with an addiction, but I was able to use what I did have. I attend community events all the time, know prominent people within and outside of the community and host trainings and other empowerment programs. Although addiction was currently not a part of my focus, I could join in and use my gifts to help with the fight. Besides some of those who suffer with low self-esteem, which is my focus, are at great risk of having addictive personalities and I could certainly relate to that.

This got me to thinking about how many other causes we neglect just because it has no direct affect on us, or is not a part of our profession. How many serious issues we could have an impact on, if we would look beyond our own little world and dare to get in the fight.

I have already started the ball rolling to get involved in and initiate some projects as it relates to addiction. I would like to challenge you to also think about joining in and fighting for a cause that may not necessarily affect your life directly. It doesn't have to be addiction. Choose whatever your heart desires. However, make a vow to fight for a cause and help eliminate or reduce a world problem.

Teresa L. Holmes, The Esteemologist