Dave LXXXX and the importance of emotional reset

People and situations can occasionally get us upset but did you realize that your failure to regroup from these situations may have a ripple effect adversely affecting others?

Many years ago, I realized that my 750cc motorcycle lacked the comfort and storage capacity of the longer rides I was taking so it was time to upgrade to a cruiser.

Arriving at the dealership, I was introduced to Dave LXXXX and we put together the bike I wanted with the accessories I could afford. The bike was in stock but required assembly, including the added features I requested. As I left the dealership, I was assured that my new motorcycle would be ready for me to ride in few weeks!

After three weeks and not hearing back from Dave, I called to get an update. He replied that there had been an issue with this or that causing delivery to be delayed by another couple of weeks. I was great riding weather and since I had already sold my 750, I was anxious to hit the road on the new bike. I was disappointed but gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Two weeks later and still nothing from Dave. My first payment was due and I had not even had an opportunity to get the windshield dirty from the road. I called Dave and was upset about the delay. A good salesperson, he "song and danced" his way through my concerns but assured me that "they just wanted to make it right for me." I did not accept that very well and charged down to the dealership to confront Dave.

I was upset getting increasingly more so as I listened to him talk. I asked to see my bike and once he agreed, saw that it was still be assembled. I lost it and our lively discussion escalated quickly.

It was at this crescendo moment, he received a telephone call and excused himself. As I tried to regroup, I saw and heard something that has stuck with me ever since. Dave, still upset from our yelling match, walked to his desk, let out a forced laugh as he picked up the phone to greet the caller with "Hi, this is Dave!"

The person on the phone had no idea what can gone on moments before and did not care. Understanding that, Dave reset his emotions and started fresh. The caller found him friendly, helpful and concluded the call on a positive note. Once he concluded that call and returned to me, we were both calmer resulting in a more positive conversation.

As a law enforcement officer, a Municipal Court Judge and in security leadership roles, I have had to deal with those who have generated some negative emotions. Remembering the lesson learned from Dave, the next public contact, defendant or co-worker would never know when I reset my emotions.

In a previous article, I discussed "back to one", an expression heard on the set when I was involved in TV. Where "back to one" discussed starting each day as a new beginning, my purpose here is to suggest finding a way to reset your emotions when faced with negative events or people throughout your day. Imagine the impression left with the caller Dave spoke with had he continued his angry tone at the start of the call. Imagine how the caller's behavior could be affected from that engagement with their next contact.

As these situations arise, seek that emotional reset.

Lastly, permit me to share this daily affirmation (author unknown)

Dear Self, I am working on being a better person.

Please:

• Let me be the type of person who I would respect and admire if I saw me in action.
• Let me greet each new day as another opportunity to get things right.
• Let me be more open to thinking about things in way I have not thought about them before.
• Let me find ways to make a positive different in the world, no matter how small, and act upon them when I am able.
• Let me be open to the challenge of change.
• Let me not shy away from things just because they are difficult.
• Let me face my fears and do things I would like even when they make me uncomfortable.
• Let me remember to be grateful for every second that I get to make choices in my life and act upon them.
• Let me make at least one person's day brighter by having become part of it.
• Let me accept my mistakes and learning experiences.
• Let me learn to love myself, flaws and all.
• Let me be confident in my ability to succeed.

Thank you, Me